KIND WORDS FOR Kevin_1

[Auddonz]

Dear Kevin, The site would not me click on your so very kind words for me. Went to sleep crying last night for the first time in a very long time, Wishing you the best in our New Year. Hope you get to this.

Fondly,

Audrey

[Kevin_1]

Hi Audrey

Your looking great!

I have so many questions - its nearly a year now? You must still miss him terribly. A year is a short time.

Did you get to move house?

Families can be so hurtful. I've lost a few relatives on this journey... and a few more who I will loose in time. It's painful and sad eh?

Crying in the night is the most miserable thing.I've got a wardrobe full of T-shirts for that one. One of the things I do is listen to my breathing, feel the air going in an out slowly and then when I am a little more relaxed I reach out, from my forehead to the one I'm in pain over and like search for the feel of their being. I see them in my minds eye and its like we can almost touch. I then send love and warm thoughts and wait a moment and its as if they quietly send back what I need or need to hear. My mother is still close to me in this way.

Another thing I do is, again with the breathing, just let the sorrow and loss come into focus, just feelings and not thoughts. Then I accept those feelings as the measure of the love between me and the other, I gently breath them out and with each breath and acceptance they loose their grip.

Is there something you do which helps?

Do you get out and do nice things for yourself, see people, walk your dogs?

Thank you for the kind words

Very warmly and hugs

Kevin

xx

[Auddonz in reply to Kevin_1]

Kenin, I came to terms with my missing him so badly about 4 months ago. He told me before he died to find someone that would make me happy again. we were together a long time, I never took a pill, do not have strong support group, even my daughter so I joined a dating on line site which gives me a lot of laughs. Most of the men are either stupid which I can't deal with, or jerks. But I feel out there there will be someone out there for me again. I seem to attract the perverts, so not great, the guys who think they can only be the boss of what I can say or do. They don't know me, I am a very strong woman inside this tiny body and no one tells me what to do. Canceled a meeting I was supposed to have tomorrow.

I sold my house and moved in with my daughter and her kids and hubby. Not the smartest decision but hey I am allowed to screw up once in a while. So I am looking for Mr. elusive. or someone that I can just maybe fall in love with again. He would have to be very, very special. Do I do nice things for myself other than catching up with my Dtrs visits, that would be no. Ignored my health for the whole time I took care of Don. My dogs go out in the backyard, my few friends who understand are either having serious health problems of their own or other issues So life goes on, for how long no one knows. Thank you for the hugs, miss them horribly, along with the rest of a long loving relationship. Keep in touch.

Fondly,

Audrey

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Auddonz]

Audrey you are a beautiful lady, it’s nice to put a face to the person you are talking to. Kevin going to try out your methods had such a bad time sleeping. Audrey I hope you find what you are looking for you so deserve it after psp, sending you a big hug. Yvonne xxxxxx

[abirke in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Yvonne,

I too have difficulty sleeping, though it is getting better.....Seroquil was passed out like candy to a child at the hospital....and you wake up with a serious hangover....NOT RECOMMENDED . In fact, even melatonin though it does help me fall asleep, does not help me feel rested... whats the use if you feel tired all day.....However Melatonin would be my "drug of choice" since it is not a drug but a hormone produced by body to sleep....

I am learning about "sleep Hygeine" making sure your sleep environment is devoid of all technology , including tv in your bedroom,. reading doing relaxation before bed.....trying to reduce as many stressors an hour or so before bed.....and drink and eat well.....

So far so so.....

what can i say grief is a hard thing to fall asleep with....

Love ya darlin

do Well

AVB

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to abirke]

So right xxxxx

[Auddonz in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Yvonne I am just praying there is someone out there. There will never be another Don, but someone who has a loving heart and knows how to treat a lady. Most of them are just plain impossible. Yvonne, I have trouble sleeping as well, take valium and wait until I feel like I can't keep my eyes open, go into bed and then can't turn my mind off. I talk to Don and tell him how much I miss him and he will always be in my heart. Then I proceed to worry about everything that is on my mind, my brother going into surgery, my friends who are having their own issues. Really rotten

Sending you a big hug back, TY for it, one of the things I miss the most.

Love,

Audrey

[Yvonneandgeorge in reply to Auddonz]

Audrey fingers crossed that you find what you are looking for xxxxx

[Auddonz in reply to Yvonneandgeorge]

Would be a miracle but we will see Yvonne

xoxo

[Kevin_1 in reply to Auddonz]

Hi Audrey

I'm wincing at the sort of things that might go on, on the online dating site. Partly as an embarrassed male who knows just how primitive men can be.

Yes, I'm a second time rounder... elusive is a good word. Then my Lizzie popped up out of the blue. She took the reigns and the rest is history... apart from the odd comment about how hard it was to train a man! I politely ignored those.

You look like a sussed strong woman. There will be someone out there, I'm sure. Have you thought of going to a 'interest group', y'know, some hobby or interest that you have? There may be someone there. At least you would know they share an interest and you get to suss them first? Just an idea... probably not a good one.

I have no idea at all what I will do with my life and how I will feel after Liz... I dread it all really. So my heart goes out to you on this one.

You are a wonderful woman you will get where you need to be.

Hugs to you and please stick around - Your great.

Warmly and lovingly

Kevin

[abirke in reply to Kevin_1]

Kevin, you already seem to have some good tools to help you deal with life and death....that tool box can never get too full...

[Kevin_1 in reply to abirke]

It feels so desperately inadequate sometimes.

But sometimes some of it works for someone.

Waiving hello and hoping things get better for you this year.

Thinking of you

Hugs

Kevin

xx

[abirke in reply to Kevin_1]

Thank you Kevin....and I'm waving right back at you and Liz....

[Kevin_1 in reply to abirke]

Andrea

HUGS!

and then more

HUGS

We struggle on, its hard, but you are ahead of us and, though I try to imagine the loss... it must be hard.

So very warmly

Kevin

xx

[Auddonz in reply to Kevin_1]

Kevin, why is it all the nice guys seem to live so far away from me You hit it right on the nose as to time, it is a year this month and I dread the day. Yes, online dating is very difficult. Primitive is a very good description of the men. I break more meets off than keep them. It is so cold now for us in Fl, just checked the weather 39 and raining, brrr Thank you for your support, I sometimes do wonder. One guy is just a friend but he likes collectibles and antiques but it is a complicated situation. I will try and keep all of you in the loop. It is not easy

Hugs back which I so badly need,

Fondly back as well,

Audrey

[abirke in reply to Auddonz]

Audrey , do you and yours plan on any sort of memorial on the 21st? B died in March and I sort of want to do something but I don't want tor recreate the pain....

[Auddonz in reply to abirke]

No, I do not believe in honoring them on the day they died but instead light a candle on their birthday. It makes me feel better. A memorial on the day they die make no sense to me. The worst part is that he and our daughter died on the same day 30 years apart. I sometimes wonder what is in store for me on that day.

[Kevin_1 in reply to Auddonz]

Hi Audrey

Yes, its weird isn't it. When I was single I met so few people who were both free and actually at all suitable.

Years ago I did newspaper dating for a wile and sometimes getting to the end of one coffee before running was a little tough!

I do hope you find Mr right soon. Being alone amongst people is not easy.

Hugs to you wonderful woman

Warmly

Kevin

xx

[Auddonz in reply to Kevin_1]

Hi Kevin,

It is such a pain in the neck trying to meet men this way. I forgot the word you used about them but you are so correct. Have about 4 or 5 men who send me messages to meet me and then poof, they disappear. Thank you for your kind words.

Hugs back to a wonderful man.

Fondly,

Audrey xoxo

[abirke]

I'll date ya ....hahahahah....I used to hitch hike all over the island of Hawaii...When I got back to the mainland, I hitch hiked back and forth from Carson City NV to Lake Tahoe. and L A up to San Francisco .On the East Coast, New York down to Arkansas..Florida etc... And all points in between.....Nowadays "No stopping standing hitchhiking is the law..." So unless I take the back roads....There's no easy or probably safe way to stick my thumb out anymore....but I have given that a thought....as far as marriage; I think I would like to be alone for awhile/ever right now ...Truth be told I would love to just start travelling.

My son traveled to New Zealand through a site where you join up to work for someone for room and board; sort of between a youth hostile and an air bnb idea. That sounds very doable....His girlfriend is in Poland about to teach English to some rich peoples kids. This will last about 3 months, she found it through this computer site. It's breaking my son's heart, but thats a whole 'nother rant ( he did not get to go as he had to take care of her damned cat and go to work 8 to 5...oops)

So teaching someone English, be an au pair for the summer months ....or tending someones garden and clean out their garage.... it's an adventure.....

Do Well pretty girl,

Andrea

[BindiLeech]

A