I think you chose the right way. Looking back, if some folk had seen the things I laughed about they would be shocked but my darling would laugh as well when he was able. They often involved bodily functions where I could have cried, vomited or just walked out but to make C feel better about himself I would laugh it off and sometimes crack a joke. Laughter definitely is the best medicine and made many tragic moments bearable.
Keep it up if you can. It will be good for both of you.
Sooooo True...I think it rather humorous that our last fight was over who we were going to vote for....When B told me to vote for Trump in B's name.....I could hear my voice echo in the voting room! "You've got to be kidding?" but he wasn't .....so I voted for him and now I have the humorous story of our last fight....Unfortunatly some folk don't know quite how to take it....I think they don't know whether they should laugh or just say oh im so sorry.....Best medicine indeed...
Hi AVB I too had to mark Bens voting postal card for him at our General Election , he could make himself understood then ( beginning of June this year!) we don't have the same political views and I teased him that I would vote for the same party as my choice. I didnt of course but it brought a smile to our faces.
The things in life that make us smile .....My husband and I usually , I thought, had similar political view.....could it be he's always voted for the other guy....now that's something to ponder Hahahah!
Laughter is the only way. My family are great at teasing everyone and anyone. Steve certainly didn't get let off, because of his illness, just gave us all more to laugh at. Steve revelled in it. Hid lots of our tears.
Like NannaB said, some of what we laugh at is bodily functions and output. It really is a case of if you don't laugh the tears will flow instead and you will end up going insane with it all. I feel quite evil at times at the things I laugh at but it is my way of coping and keeping Mum at ease and comfortable. Mind changing and repeat questions sure do drain the mental battery.
I tease Ben and joke about things that would embarrass him and he takes it all with a bit of a chuckle. It has amazed me how he has accepted the personal care that he has no choice but to let carers or me give to him. When I put his convene on after his shower, there are the two carers and me in the wet room whilst I get on my knees and they support him on his standing board. There are many inappropriate comments and he always manages to smile or chuckle. Goodness knows what the fly on the wall thinks!
Althea,I said the same thing.When presented at the hospital with the prospect of going to rehab for 21 days,he said "can you do without me for that long?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
No,it did not turn out so well.After that incident he spent one day in rehab and aspirated.Had to be intubated and spent 3 weeks in hospital.Then he went to rehab again and spent 2 weeks there.Was doing well and expected to come home.When I got the phone call in the middle of the night telling me he had passed away I was in disbelief.Apparently he had a heart attack but he had no heart problems previously.Yes,he was indeed a sweet dear husband and I miss him tremendously.It has only been 5 weeks.We would have celebrated our 54th anniversary the end of this month.
Jan, (?) I am sorry...I am sure everyone else know of your husband;s demise I may have acknowledged it myself. But after my husbands own death....remembering is even more difficult ...
It has only been a short while since your husbands diagnosis . Please allow me to ask how old he was. Mine was 56 almost 57. He was diagnosed in '13 thus decidedly sooner than most patients. However as we delved really back to when the first symptom may have appeared, The year 2000 becomes a sort of beginning.....small things but strangely consistent . My friend who was visiting at that time thought his slightly off behavior.....staring, answering abnormally late after the given question ...rather strange but not dangeroulsy strange.....a symptom nonetheless? so I wonder, are the younger ones diagnosed late in the illness? and by the time diagnosis is made, they are very ill indeed....perhaps this post is not the best place to ponder the idea of age of onset or diagnosis but there you have it....
I do hope you are doing .,,,as well as one can....I now take two mile walks with the dog.....sort of carrying on a tradition of B.....though much longer in length.....
I do hope that you are allowing your spiritual self to be a support to your emotional needs.
Don was 73 yrs old and was diagnosed with PSP only a year and 4 months before his death.Before then he was diagnosed with Parkinsons in 2009 but the neurologist said all along that he did not think it was typical Parkinsons.As I have been going through Don's office to clear it out I came across a journal with dated writings in it.His handwriting was always somewhat difficult to read but I could see a marked difference in legibility beginning in 2008-before his diagnosis of PD.
Your husband was indeed young to have this dreadful disease.It is by no means easy for anyone at any age but my heart goes out especially to those who developed it at an earlier age.We did at least get to see a couple of years of retirement although did not get to enjoy our retirement as we had dreamed of doing.
I am doing I think as well as could be expected at this stage of my loss.I miss him terribly and many times a day think of things I want to tell him.It is asthough a part of me is missing.We worked together in our own business for 35 yrs so were hardly ever apart.
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