I'm so glad I found this page, 3 years ago my Nanna got diagnosed with CBD, and I didn't know how to react to it, I was so close to her and it broke my heart seeing her go from bad to worse.
Her current situation is that she's in a nursing home as her symtoms are too bad for her to be cared for her at home. She can't talk, move or eat anymore. I honestly feel like she can't get any worse. My mum believes she won't make it until the end of the year. I don't know how to deal with it, I use to see her every day but then I found to be very awkward and would make me upset to be around her. It's only now I need to accept what's happening. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you xxx
Written by
Keiramurphy
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You have to find your own way on this emotionally, but I would say that the way of this illness is that she will seem further and further from you, but she is still in there... She may not be able to respond at some point, not even smile. Her emotions will flatten off and she may eventually treat you like a stranger... deep down she is still the Nanna you love, the Nanna who gave you what she did.
My take is that its payback time... See her, keep her company... Don't let her be alone too much, if you can face it. Somewhere inside her she might know and be so full the love between you, but can't show it.
Adding...look after yourself too... Heroes can break themselves with this ghastly illness... Do not break yourself up over it... Your Nanna would not want that I'm sure...
Thank you for your reply. I've always felt like I'm greifing her even though she's still here, the nanna I known is gone and it eats up at me, I knew keeping all my feelings in was going to get to me at some point, and that happened today. Yes she wouldn't want that at all, your right. It's the saddened look in her eyes when she looks at me that gets me the most, and I then make an excuse to leave the home.
I sympathize entirely, Kiera. Good for you that you are trying.. It is hard to communicate and the emotions can be overwhelming. I advise my sweetheart's friends to talk about anything at all, go over shared memories, remind my guy of a good time, just talk about the day. I read to him, and I am sure just my presence and the sound of my voice means something, even if the words really don't. Hold her hand, hug her. The love gets through, even if she can't show it.
You are right, Keira. It is really hard grieving for the person you have lost, whilst they are still there. We all understand that so well !
We need to accept that they understand what you say to them. My husband really needs to be cuddled and kissed and I bet your nanna does too. Tell her you remember those special things you did together.
She is lucky to have you and you have been lucky to have her.
Love from Jean [ I' a grandma too !] x
Just be the loving granddaughter that you are, hugs and kisses go a long way.
I totally understand how you are feeling and how hard it is to see someone you love going through this awful illness. Just continue to show her how much you love her by visiting her and telling her you love her
What is going on wit your nana isn't personal, its life. I to had a grandmother that was in a home due to a brain hemorrage and stroke. I never knew if she recognized me but I went 2 times a week to feed her dinner.
I take these things very differently than most, I see what has to be done and do it. It never took an emotional toll on me, the way I saw it, and still see it today, is that my loved one needs help and I will help them.
Spend time with your Nana, tell her everything you want to tell her, sit with her, watch TV with her and take her for walks. Not because she is not well but because you love her. Her love for you hasn't changed so neither should your love for her.
I used to talk to my grandmother like I always did, most times I would do my homework and she would watch me, she coudn't talk so the conversations would be one sided, not a problem for me as I like to talk.....
I understand what you are going through as I have been through it, don't let your emotions take over that time will come later on, for now just let her be your Nana
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