My heart is breaking

Because of the PSP, Fred was unable to fight the aspiration pneumonia, he passed away at 10.30 this morning, unfortunately in hospital, but I'd stayed the night, and he'd had his arm round me all night. It's been such a shock as he wasn't so far down the PSP road, we'd been out for our usual Christmas Eve drink in the pub(we'd done it Friday ) we was still living a fairly normal life, maybe the best way.

I am so sad xx

41 Replies

  • Dear dear Debbie I'm so sorry! My heart goes out to you! I actually cannot believe this but as you say maybe the best way to go and I have to agree although obviously this is a massive shock for you! Sending you much love and hugs x

  • I agree]

    lol jill


  • I'm so sorry to hear that Fred passed but to hear that you all were at the pub Friday night enjoying some Christmas cheer put a smile on my face. Seems like he was strong until the very end which is really all you can pray for.

    It is the best way,

  • Oh Debbie, I'm so sorry. Nothing I say will make you feel better. I'll be thinking of you during these first very difficult days and hope it won't be too long before the memory of this awful illness fades a bit and the good times you had together before PSP outnumber the bad memories.

    Sending you my love and a big hug.

    ❤ XxxX

  • What a shock Debbieann. I am so sorry for you both. Only consolation is Fred won't have to suffer the rest of the horrendous symptoms. I hope with all my heart you can bounce back from all this awful stuff you have been through. Lots of love and hugs at this sad time xxx

  • Oh Debbie what an awful shock for you but like others have said maybe it was the best way for your dear Fred, I can only hope that Keith won't suffer and will go in a similar way, hold on to the good times before this evil PSP took them away from you both!

    I'm thinking of you Debbie, so many of our friends partners have gone recently, my heart goes out to you all....

    Sending my love and a comforting hug....Pat xx

  • Dear Debbie, I am so so sorry and so very sad. So many of our dear friends seem to have left us in the last few weeks. This must have been such a shock for you as Fred was fairly well until quite recently I think. Perhaps it is better for him that he didn't suffer a long and slow decline, but very hard for you.

    With love


  • Hi Debbie, I am sorry that you have lost your Fred to this horrible PSP. May he rest in peace. My condolences to you and your family. I am sending hugs and much love to you.Teekerxx

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad it seemed peaceful and I'm glad you didn't have to go through all the administrative nonsense and the hard, sad decline.

    I am sorry for the suddeness. Best wishes to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  • So sorry to hear your news. What a sad time for you but perhaps you can gain some comfort from the fact that the suffering is over for your husband and over relatively quickly. A sad time too for Heady. I think of you both. A time of adjustment and mourning for you both but what to do? At least you both know you did your best with this awful disease. Best wishes. Anne

  • Oh Debbie what a shock, been thinking about you, so sad, I really don't know what to say, F is in a better place, so many people passing away, oh Debbie I am so sorry, we never did meet up, always here for you if you need to talk. Sending you a big hug xxxxxx

  • Oh, Debbie, what a shock, although I'm sure in time you will be glad Fred was spared the slower route.

    I 'm glad you were with him.

    It will be hard but you will now be able to remember all those good times when he had energy.

    Keep in touch. Love and a big hug from Jean xx

  • my thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time - RIP F


  • hi Debbieann I'm so very sorry for your loss mate

    peter jones q.l.d. asustgraslia psp bloke

  • So so Sorry Debbie for your loss :_(

    This illness is so cruel I know how you feel as I lost my dad only 7 weeks ago to CBD and the illness really got him in the last 6 months before that he still enjoyed going on weekend brakes, shopping, trips to the pub for a Bacardi and then just declined it was devastating to watch as a family.

    I feel a big part of me has died too and I'm really trying to be positive for my 2 boys I'm 36 and feel lost without my dad :(

    You have to be strong we are all here for you. Inbox me anytime if you need to talk.

    Amanda xxxx

  • So sad Debbie and what a shock. It might be better for Fred but it is so harsh for you after all you have done. Lucky that you were with him all night. Good on you for taking him to the pub on Friday.

    Thinking about you and wishing you strength and resilience to go forward into a place without this horrible disease dominating every aspect of your life.


  • Dear Debbieann I am so sorry . How beautiful that you got to feel each other with a warm loving embrace through the night. I'm in tears. I only hope that Bruce leaves this world in a quick (PSP quick) manner.

    Goodbye Fred you will be missed .

    Your brother and sister in PSP,

    Bruce and Andrea

  • Like the others, I offer my deep condolences. My prayers are with you knowing Fred is now at peace.


  • I'm so very sorry. I had been reading your posts for awhile now and I've kinda identified with you and your situation. My heart breaks for you!

  • Dear Debbie, although the last illness was so fast, you have been struggling for a long time. You did well to keep him going as you did. Nice to think you had a Christmas outing and made a good memory to hold onto. I hope you can rest now and recover. Sending a warm hug across the ocean. Love, ec

  • I am so sorry. It must have such a comfort that your loving arms were around him all night. You did all the right things. The struggle for him is over. This was so unexpected . I pray that you will remember the love and evenings out. I hope you have caring people around to support you. You know all of us here are in your corner. You need to grieve but if you want to rant we are still here for you. Prayers and hugs.

  • Dear Debbie. So so sorry for you but glad for Fred to go while still relatively well and in you arms at the end. What he would have wished I'm sure.

  • Dear Debbie, Even though I had been told that the end was coming for Bug's, it was still a shock and I cannot imagine what you are feeling at the moment. As others have said, Fred has been spared the worsening of the symptoms. Peace to you and your family

  • So sorry to hear your sad news. Sending sincere condolences & love to you & yours. Suze X

  • Very sorry to hear your sudden sad news.Thinking of you xx

  • Oh Debbie so sad for you but maybe one day you will be able to look back and think thank God Fred didn"t have to go on sufferinhg.

    Love Georgepa

  • Oh, Debbieann,

    I am so sorry that you have lost your dear Fred, I send you my loving thoughts.

    Although we seldom ever get to meet each other on here, I find that with the news of each passing loved one, I cry as though I have known that person. I am crying for you and the loss of your dear husband Fred,whose name I have read quite often and thought of him,dear Debbieann.

    You take care now

    Lots of love

    Denise X

  • I always cry when I read the sad posts, it's like loosing a very dear friend although most of us have not met xx

  • Oh Debbie

    I am so very sorry. This must have come as such a shock to you and your family. At least he got to enjoy part of Xmas? Poor Fred. You know it just goes to show they can go at anytime? My husband had pneumonia in September but he hadn't aspirated. If he had I would never have met the lovely people on this site. Too many of you losing your loved ones right now. Thinking of you Debbie and sending all my love. God Bless you. I will say a prayer to give you strength and for Fred that this part of his journey is s happy one. R.I.P Fred.

    Marie x

  • Hi Debbie very sorry for your loss and total shock. It was nearly curtains for J last night as he was choking to death on his dinner, I managed to save him and he said he had wished that I had'nt. Its all so sad and heartbreaking but at least for you the worry of it is over. I wish the best for you for 2017 xx

  • hi Deb

    so sorry to hear your news but I agree the best way.

    more tears for us all

    Julie xx

  • I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, My thoughts are with you, take care xx

  • Oh Debbie, I have only just read your post and can't believe it as it seems that Fred and Ben were at roughly the same stage, its such a shock but I think that Ben would welcome this happening as he's always saying he has no desire to suffer what this disease brings. My heart goes out to you but I'm so glad it was a peaceful passing and that you were there with him. My heart goes out to you but I do believe he was saved from the terrible symptoms that PSP brings. Please look after yourself and take time to grieve, you have your daughters nearby to help you through.

    Love and a warm hug

    Kate xxxx

  • Dear Debbieann,

    My heart mirrors yours. Dear girl I am so so sorry.

    PSP is our nemesis and I'm in a bad way as well. Please stay in touch as the days unfold, we can all learn and comfort each other.

    I'm pleased you had time together as your love become eternal.

    All my prayers are for you today.


  • So sorry to read of your loss. There are too many loved ones passing in recent days. Will be praying for you and your family.

  • Dear Debbieann I'm so sorry Fred has passed away and so suddenly but thankful that you and he were together with you in his arms. I hope this brings you some comfort in the days ahead. Sending you all my love, Nanny857xx

  • I'm so sorry to read your news but oh I so agree with you , it's heartbreaking to see anyone in such a situation and so very frustrating for the sufferer. In a better place , is how I feel. But heartfelt sympathy goes to you as you pick up the threads of your own life . I hope all plans go smoothly for you , with love xx

  • Dear Debbie - sending you all my love, a big virtual hug and hoping that a cure will be found for all those who are still suffering with PSP. I am so sorry xxx

  • I'm so sorry Debbie. I feel for you. Seems that those of us here have a very special bond that time and distance doesn't hinder. This disease twists our guts like a tightly wound rubberband, as we helplessly watch the progression take our loved ones down and then out of this world, (and onto the next). Then once they're gone all our tightly held emotions are free and can be overwhelming. This is different but I must compare. My very wonderful Mama died of very aggressive cancer when she was just 34 after just a few month battle. I was 16 at the time and am now older than dirt (haha) ok mid 50s, and have missed her and grieved for her my entire adult life. If I had to say ONE thing that's helped me with the grief, it's this... remember the love your dear Fred has and had for you and with that love, always realize what he'd want for you. The happiness, the peace, the fun and adventure, much love and more. I learned to live for not just me but for Mama too, for what she'd want for me and to live doubly since she didn't get the opportunity. I hope I worded that clearly. Lastly, I cried for you and for the many others who we've lost lately from this forum. Like so many of you have said, we care about and cry for each other, which while sad is also sweet. I'll be praying for you Debbie and for everyone here.

  • Debbie:

    My condolences to you. So much sadness on this site but it has also given us so much strength to face PSP in the face and not fear it. I am so glad you were able to spend Christmas with Fred and what a peaceful way to pass--in each others arms. Beautiful. We are never ready for the deep sadness and lonely life that is coming next. Take one day at a time, grieve as long as you need to. Crying is such a powerful and intense emotion--let it take its course. So shocking just like my Les's passing--I never expected his life to end so quickly. May they both rest in peace. Thinking of you, praying for you and sending you a huge hug.



  • Nikkie, thank you. lovely to hear from you, how are you?

    Much love



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