When is it time to place your loved one in a facility? I am thinking he would get better care somewhere else as I am no longer able to gently help him into bed and sometimes have to get a little rough. Is this fair to him and me? He is suffering abusive moves and I am suffering guilt. I am putting him at risk everytime I take him out the door as I am not strong enough to hold him up therefore I don't take him out as much as I should. I don't have the room nor the facilities to make things easier. All I am offering is familiarity. I am not offering safety or comfort. Who is gaining from this?