Missing my amazing husband

[LAWolfe]

February 15, 2013 I lost the most amazing man I have ever known to PSP. Gary was a wonderful husband and father and the love of my life. He was my best friend and soul mate. Gary fought hard but just grew so weak and tired that he could battle no longer. It does not seem fair that he would only live to be 46 years old and I am saddened by all the things we should be sharing together. He should have been here to see his oldest son get married this month and to hold the grandchildren that will be here in the future. He should have been here to see our other son graduate from high school and watch our 11 year old daughter blossom into a young lady. 26 years of marriage was not long enough and I miss my best friend. I know that he still loves us and wants us all to help anyone else suffering with PSP or any neurological disorder. I want to thank everyone on this site that posts, reading your posts help to keep me strong when I feel like giving up or that I am all alone. God Bless all of you and may he give us all strength to continue to fight this disease. Lisa

[dorothy-thompson]

Dear LAwolfe

This is so sad, that your husband should die so young and from such a thing. I am so sorry for you and your family. Time is a great healer, but not yet, let the grieving process continue until you are ready to move on and there is no time limit on that, only you will know when.

Take care

Dorothy thompson

[carehope]

Dear Lisa,

There is nothing that comes to my mind to say, that you probably haven't heard many times from others like myself who wish that there was something,anything, that would bring you solace given what your husband, you, and your family have endured. Though PSP is an illness and not an evil ruthless being , somehow I feel more empowered when I can picture it as a heartless alien invader that takes lives by degrees. I guess that it gives me more of a recognizable target for all my feelings of rage, impotence , sorrow

and disbelief ( still ! ) that an illness as rare and horrible as this would dare to attack anyone, let alone someone I love ! I drag myself back from despair as all of us do in these lives that we're living by reminding myself of all of the things that I'm grateful for and by acknowledging the existence of other misfortunes that thankfully are not part of my life.

That your message is so overflowing with love for your husband and your family ,makes me feel your loss all the more keenly. I think that love , in all of its forms is magical, amazing ! , and that people like you and your husband clearly know how to create love and bestow love. Yours is such a life affirming message for all of us , and I thank you so much for sharing something so personal and moving . God bless, and I hope that as time goes on ,all of the wonderful experiences that you and your husband created will be foremost in your thoughts. My caring thoughts and best wishes are sent to you !

Be well, Elise

[denmob in reply to carehope]

I am so saddened by your loss especially a man so young. It makes me realise how lucky I am that after ten years of PSP my husband is still with me. I know that words at this time will not soften the grief but hope that in time with your children's love and support the pain will ease.

[Hidden]

What a cruel age to be taken from you. I am so sorry to hear that. He will be with you; when you look at your families faces he will be there, when you listen to their words you will hear him. Be proud as he would be of you and I wish you love and happiness in the years to come,

Dianne xx

[Aine2]

My thoughts and prayer's are with you and your family , 46 is so young to be taken by this deadly disease . .I'm sure he is by your side keeping you strong .... Hugs from Ireland ....xx

[shasha]

46 is far too young to go - you have ny deepest sympathy in your very sad loss

[jimandsharynp]

Lisa, Our hearts go out to you. To lose a loved one at that young age can be devistating if you let it. Keep your chin up for the children and draw close to them for mutual support. How long was Gary ill/diagnosed?

Jimbo

[LAWolfe in reply to jimandsharynp]

Gary was misdiagnosed in 2006 with Parkinsons and then correctly diagnosed in September of 2009 with PSP. I wish we had known sooner as we could have done so much more with our children before the disease reached a point where it became difficult to take vacations or special outings with them. He was a very strong man and watching him decline took a great toll on our family which I am afraid will take a long time to recover from for myself and our children.

[jimandsharynp in reply to LAWolfe]

Recovery can be slow and memories linger for some time. My first wife passed away from CJD another brain disease similar to PSP. I remember that ten years later I'd be driving someplace and a memory of her would come to mind and tears would flow in that moment. It was strange because at those times I couldn't figure out anything that triggered the memory of her. I'd since remarried and was happy then. So after 31 year of marriage I lost a wife to CJD a brain disease and now after 23 years of marriage I have a wife ill with PSP. You never know that life will toss your way but with faith you can survive anything. I've found that out. Please stay active on this site and share your ideas and information with those of us who are still in the struggle with PSP.

Jimbo