My husband, Roger took his last breath after a 6 1/2 year journey with prostate cancer. When diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer (12/12 cores, Gleason 8, perineal invasion) we were told they could do surgery, radiation, hormones immediately…we instead left for Germany and got hyperthermia plus other treatments. We did everything the allopathic path once discovering it was the aggressive BRCA2. It metastasized to bones, adrenal glands and after mutating to PTEN, the liver. No treatments worked anymore so we let him deteriorate naturally while saying his goodbyes the last 6 months. He was on methadone with no breakthrough pain. Just got weaker and weaker. Spoke to me about 5 in the morning on Feb 20th and took his last breath 7 hours later. I say this because we feared it would be excruciating at the end and even got the prescription “cocktail” from the pharmacy in case he needed it. But he died a natural death very gently and peacefully. He had done some preparation mentally with a death doula and didn’t even use the anti-anxiety meds hospice had prescribed! This is him a week before passing…skinny as a skeleton but still smiling!
Another one has left this earth - Prostate Cancer N...
Another one has left this earth
Really sorry for your loss. Rip. 🙏
I'm sorry for your loss. It's a very personal decision, but I'm curious, because it comes up from time to time - Why did he decide not to try to be cured?
you are funny…”try not to be cured?” He did EVERYTHING 110% to try to be cured! We started with treatments outside the country to keep quality of life (sex, etc), he didn’t drink alcohol, coffee, didn’t eat sugar or carbs, spent hours working out, on a PEMF mat, doing daily coffee enemas, in a HBOT chamber, in full spectrum sauna, taking millions of supplements, going to oncologist and naturopathic appointments. We spent $10k per month for 6 months on specialized IV treatments that have successfully cured women with BRCA. He did radiation for 3 weeks in a different area so he could combine with Hyperthermia. He tried chemo and it failed quickly. He did radiation, multiple hormone treatments (bucerlin, Lupron, Xtandi, zytiga) and all quickly failed. We spent about $50-80k annually out of pocket and his protocols took 6-10 hours a day. He TRIED EVERYTHING to be cured and live for his 3 young daughters. We had BEST oncologist on our team at UCSF and UCDAVIS ! (Allopathic means all inclusive natural and medical!) We did many DNA test and he ate based on his body type, used syringes of THC/CBD based on his body type, etc. We left NO stone unturned! As a specialist we visited in AZ told us in the beginning…”the wolf was at his door” ! Docs gave him 3 years …we bought quality for 4+ and a few more quantity!
Sorry, I only meant he decided against the known curative therapies for men in his situation: surgery, radiation, and hormones, while his cancer was still curable (before it metastasized) by those modalities. After it metastasizes, there are no known cures. But I think you answered my question - that he saw it as a trade-off to maintaining his quality of life. These are very personal decisions.
when diagnosed it was already intruding on bladder and they could only get 85% out they told him. We read “invasion of prostate snatchers” and it turned out he wasn’t really a candidate for surgery according to the doc that invented the robotic methods. We did everything BUT surgery and don’t regret that decision. He was turned away for HIFU or proton therapy out of the gates.
;,o(
I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for letting us know. Please now do take good care of your self to heal and move forward.
I wish you and your loved ones all the very best.
Hugh
So sorry for your loss. Wow you both threw everything at it. Please look after yourself and take the time to heal. Rest in peace Roger.
Thank your for this update. It always brings a tear to my eye and a tightness in my chest to read of another man's passing from this horrible disease. He fought a good a fight it seems.
Great picture of him, he looks happy and at peace with the world.
Condolences.
Thank you for letting the community know. Rest in peace.
condolences
Deep condolences to you dear sister...
Grieving with you and for you and your family. So very very very sorry you were placed in a position to explain to Tall-Allen’s accusation of “not to try to be cured.” Then to be accused again of not trying “known curative therapies” as per Tall-Allen’s analysis.
fortunately I am in a good headspace knowing We Gave it our All! I wanted to post this not for attention but for assistance to all those out there that wonder how the end may look someday. Something Roger and I feared. We took doctors advice,listened to our intuition, had a huge support system of doctors, nutritionalist, naturopathic doctors, specialists, hospice, death doula, and mostly friends and FAMILY! We had resources many don’t. WE were a great team taking this on together. If ANYONE has any questions for me, I know more than I ever wanted! I ran spreadsheets of his monthly labs and could tell when it was going to rear it’s ugly head months before the doctors could! I KNEW ROG’s body like nobody’s business! His doctors loved me 
I will pay it forward. This group has helped me tremendously and you all are my hero’s!
So sorry for your loss, this is such a hard disease to fight. I'm so tired of fighting it myself.
I wanted to ask you a question. You tried so many different things, looks like just about everything there is you could possibly try. Which things do you think worked and what didn't? Thanks.
one size doesn’t fit all, but for prostate cancer I would recommend Pectasol C as a promising supplement. If radiation is a must then pairing with hyperthermia and/or hyperbaric oxygen for better effectiveness and quicker recovery without as many side effects. For many hypothermia treatments in BC, Canada or Germany will work for many years or a lifetime depending on when your cancer stem cells lose heat sensitivity (kind of like becoming castrate resistant). And mostly, get a great team…and when they no longer work, get a whole new great team. Don’t just rely on your oncologist. They don’t have time to learn how to be a nutritionist, give supportive IV treatments, a counselor, etc. Always look for NEW hope to replace FEAR. Learn the art of coffee enemas…I promise it is a tool that will make you FEEL better from beginning and perhaps the end if you get constipated when on narco. My husbands QOL often depended on this! Don’t forget to address your mental state with meditation or prayer and COMMUNITY! And always have a new tool in your back pocket to try or use when your cancer outsmarts the old ones if you have the aggressive kind. We constantly changed things up trying to stay ahead of it. At first we would gain a year from a new thing…in the end it started to mutate faster and you have to get even more aggressive.
I am so sorry for your loss of Roger. What a wonderful smile! I am also glad he chose how and when to go and with no pain.
I am so sorry for your loss! Your husband has a beautiful smile❤️🙏
So very sorry for your loss. 💔
He looks happy in his last moments. RIP and God bless.
Sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace, DD.
Prayers and blessings be with you. We all lay here at night alone sometime in our journey and wonder? When will our turn happen? We all ask ourselves what do we need to do, or keep on doing to stay on this journey of life?
Thank you for so graciously answering Allens questions. Somehow we are all wondering what our next steps are? Some of us are afraid to ask the hard questions? Do we take one path, or another? Do we stop everything and just let this cancer take us? Where does quality of life fit into all of this. We all have literally lived a lifetime, now we fight for a few last year's that we have. Life wasn't supposed to be this way. Not for us or our partners. How thankful he must have been to have you. Hugs to you as you travel this next part of life with him in your heart.
Very sorry for your loss
take care, I still miss my dad and my entire family even its been a year he is gone, may God give you strength, you had a fighter husband, his smile tells it, my father too fought till the end even though he was unable to speak or move at the end , moved a finger , hand or eyes for us, really a fighter
My sincere condolences and thank you for this picture with your husband, he has such a winning smile. Good to hear, that he could go without pain and in peace. I wish you strength and energy for the next weeks and months.
Awwww, what a brave smile. It is sending comfort, not fear, as if he knows, and he is ready.
These stories do not get any easier. I have only been on this forum since Oct 2020, so now 2 yrs-4 mos. It seems too often we learn of another loss. Somehow, we have to train the White Blood cells, and T cells to recognize this enemy, and stop hiding behind the outer shell with PSMA, and attack these aggressive cells, so we can live.
I wish a cure, or extended remission could have come sooner for Roger (and all of us). We hope you will one day be back to a more normal, less sad life. There are no words that will work at this time.
We wish you and your family only the best,
Mike & Barbara
So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is inspiring to hear he didn't have breakthrough pain or anxiety in the end. Very strong person to accept the transition.
Sending my heartfelt condolences to you from abroad! If you don't mind my asking, how old was Sir Roger?
he turned 62 a few weeks before taking his breath
so very sorry
He sounds like a very strong and wonderful man. May his memory be a blessing.
I’m so very sorry for you loss. May he rest easy now !!!
My deepest condolences. May fond memories of Roger comfort you in quiet times.
Thank you for sharing your journey, may you and your family find peace in your loving memories.
My deepest condolences.
Thank you for sharing. You both are amazing! What a blessing to be able to try so many different therapies! Condolences and may you find peace.🙏
I am very sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing information about your loved one’s battle. It’s helpful for me in making the tough PCa decisions I know are coming. 🙏
What a beautiful, inwardly-lit smile.
May the pain of your loss last only as long as you need it.
Happy he went peacefully with you at his side. 🙏
So sorry...
🙏🏻💓🙏🏻 prayers and love to you and your family as you transition to a new season. Roger love and blessings for you on the other side!
Really sorry for your loss.I agree with others he had a wonderful smile.
May he R.I. P.
wow you were his guiding supportive and compassionate angel until final hour.I truly express the graciousness yiu held your own as well as mounting treatments kept getting the results you wish they had
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR PATH
I'm very sorry for your loss, he was obviously a beautiful soul. Death from PC is never a time to look back a second guess one's treatment choices. They all work sometimes and none work sometimes. He lived well with the hand he was dealt and was loved by the people around him. He did it right dealing with a disease that makes "right" seem quite elusive sometimes. Again, when one of us dies a little piece of all of us dies.
Sorry for your loss. Condolences.
God Bless. SO sorry. Clearly he was lucky and blessed to have you as a caregiver. I helped my mom take care of dad before he passed. It is very hard on those left behind. My mom is gone too now. Best wishes and good luck. Take care of yourself and treasure your memories.
Sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with you and your family through this trying time. It sounds like he was a good and strong man who will be missed by all who knew him.
So sorry for your loss, I hope the memory of that beautiful smile will sustain you in your darker times.
RIP Brother Rodger! What a great smile. Thank you for sharing, peace to you and your family.
Condolences 🙏
Sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing.
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Thanks so much for the photo worth a thousand words! Roger looks like such a sweet man, living fully even as he lay dying. Your spirit is such an inspiration. Reading your posts here, I'm left feeling just plain lucky. Here I am at 80, recently diagnosed but with no sign yet of metastatic disease. Why do I get to enjoy the golden years of my marriage and watch my children thriving into their 50s, when there are so many guys on this site not much older than they are but fighting for just a little more time? So thank you for the reminder to treat each day as the miracle that it is, and I wish you and your family peace, comfort, and joyful memories of Roger.
So very sorry. I hope yu have loved ones supporting you in every way.
My sincere condolences. What an inspirational story accompanied by an equally inspiring picture of Roger! That smile is so genuine! I'm not going to forget it, and hope when that time comes for me I can emulate it.
If you don't mind: Did hospice provide the doula or did you seek them out? I've never heard of the service, but it seems so right. Thanks. - Joe M.
we were blessed to have the right people show up our entire journey at the right time. This Angel offered to meet with my husband every week and meditate with him and prepare him for his transition. But “death doulas” are becoming a thing. Too be at so much peace and go so quickly without pain in the end was a blessing Roger received from “doing the work” even when he was just so tired !
Thank you. Again - I’m not going to forget Roger. The reality of that “It’s okay” smile is something I want and will work hard for. I wish you peace.
I am sorry for your loss. He seems like someone who was at peace with his dying. This is so important to be able to transition peacefully with family and friends supporting his decision and spending this time together.
I hope that you can move forward with your life at some point to experience joy once again . Good luck.
Dear Rsdutcher7,
Reading your responses in this thread it seems that you and your husband pursued all paths that could possibly stabilize or eradicate his cancer. You kept open minds and educated yourselves about the combination of, the power of synergy, of holistic and SOC methods. I feel the strength you have within you from your written words. In no way should you fault yourself for you and your husband in not defeating his cancer. Sometimes, somewhere, in the back of our minds there is a doubt. Some people, questioning the choice of treatments can seed doubt. You should have none. You and your husband searched for information, conferred with experts and tried until there were no other avenues to try as his cancer progressed. I have nothing but admiration for you, your dear husband and the efforts you put forth.
Even when expected the death of a loved one can still be shocking. We think we are prepared, yet, how can one ever prepare for such a significant loss? We learn to live with it. A course I was required to take was titled, "The Psychology of Grief". A number discussed in that course was 100,000. That is the number of times the average person's memory flashes back to a deceased loved one before the pain starts to ease. There is a pain that I can only describe from my experience, as palpable, a physically felt pain that affects vital signs--still to this day after nearly 60 years.
Family, friends and clergy can be helpful--but sometimes--NOT! At times our own counsel, thinking of the past, can help us to be grateful for the time we had with our loved ones. Although for me, the pain is still raw at times, as if it was yesterday, not 60 years ago, I would not trade sharing those short years with my grandfather, my hero, to avoid the pain.
Dear Rsdutcher7, find as much peace as you can and when it hurts try to remember the best of times with gratitude to counter the pain. HE would want that for you.
My sincere sympathies,
Currumpaw
Oh my. What beautiful words. 😢
my deepest sympathies to you and your family. May God rest his soul
So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and healing energy.
Sending sympathy and prayers to you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss of Roger.
He looks like such a great guy! It sounds like you went the extra mile and then some to try to defeat his cancer. Roger was way too young for this fate.........this is such an unfair disease. My sincere sympathy to you and your family. Cherish your loving memories and forever hold them in your heart.
So sorry for your loss. But that smile tells me he knew he was surrounded by people who loved and cared for him. RIP brother.
Very sincere condolences.
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