ED, LIBIDO, PUMPS and PILLS

[steinmother]

This regards my experiences pre and post prostate cancer treatment. 72 YO. External Radiation with hormones. Prior to diagnosis, my libido was good. Being interested in sex is important to quality of life. So is performance. For me there is one more facet to male sexuality. Sensitivity. So all three must be present for satisfying that aspect of quality of life for me.

The first to go several years prior to PC was ED. Tried pills (expensive and not always effective). Side effects too. So I had heard about pumps but thought it sounded kinky. I finally tried the pump and have been happy with the results. No worry about ED. Pumps always work. At this point I had libido, sensitivity and the big E.

After PC treatment, there is NO libido. Testicles shrunk, chemical castration. I thought Sex was now in the past for me. But I missed it. A lot. I didn't even think about sex for weeks.

I am an experimenter by nature so I found a way to get some enjoyment back. I found that my libido was reignited by porn. Once interested, the pump gave the E. Now the third part, sensitivity is inconsistent and I don't know why. But when all three are in sync, I felt normal. I do have to push myself a little to get the process started because of the absence of libido but once I get going it's enough for me.

Now for guys with a significant other, the pump thing may be too weird and that's too bad because both of you will be glad you put up with it. An open discussion about sex and needs may not be easy.

[rococo]

Gone are the days when you had to keep a handle on the sex drive, now fantasy, pills, pump, appealling pardner to stimulate. Did I miss anything?

[cpcohen]

My standard line to men who are considering treatment for prostate cancer:

. . . Your sex life will probably not be finished,

. . . . . but it will probably be changed.

The second standard line:

. . . Whatever it takes to keep your sex life alive, do it.

"Kinky" isn't in my vocabulary any more -- not since I started to use injections, nine years ago. My libido was fine, but my penis needed some serious help.

I commend the OP for finding ways to continue his sex life while going through ADT. Thanks for the tips.

. CHarles

[AlanMeyer Moderator]

I tried a pump once but couldn't get it to work right. Is there a brand that works well?

[michael42301 in reply to AlanMeyer]

My surgeon prescribed one from Firma Medical. It was kind of pricey compared to what you can get from Amazon, but it came with plenty of instructions on how to use it -- printed, video and a help line. I always thought of them as kind of kinky, but the doctor said to use it twice a day, so I did while playing solitaire on my tablet. It came with a cock ring to use while having sex. My wife didn't much like it because my tool was cold instead of warm, but it's better than nothing.

[steinmother in reply to AlanMeyer]

This might be TMI but here's how I came up with a good system. First the plastic tube. Go to Literotica, Adult toy store, men's toys, penis pumps. Select one that's at least 2 inches by 7-8 inches depending on your size. Then the pump. I recommend a quality pump (metal) that has a dial indicator that shows the pressure. A stopcock needs to be installed on the tube so the pump can be disconnected without losing the vacuum. Water based lube to seal the vacuum coats the penis. Do not pump over 10 mm Hg negative, no more than 10 minutes. Then you need suspension rings to hold the blood in. I get mine from Vitality medical. The size you need will be something you need to figure out trial and error. Once the erection is where you want it (it will go no bigger) disconnect the pump tube keeping the suction from escaping with the stopcock on the top end of the tube, lube the outside of the clear tube with water based lube, stretch the ring(s) over the tube and slide the ring down the outside of tube to the base and snap it off the tube on to the base of the penis quickly. Leave the suspension rings on no longer than 30 minutes. Repeated use will thicken and elongate over time but don't expect to gain more than 1/2 inch. Some put the rings on the tube before the pumping but that stretches the rings and shortens the useful life of the ring. Hope that's clear and not confusing.