Gender Wars

[ritz21]

while this might not be very appropriate forum to bring this up. I have always wondered if any of you have disappointed parents/grandparents/great-grand-parents or maybe other cynical relatives about the gender of your baby. Or if you have been apprehensive about telling it to certain family members what it is - covering it up as a nice surprise at the end.

I am hoping to hear various perspectives from various backgrounds and parts of the world.

[Neska]

Yep i keep hearing things all the time!i've got a 9year old boy and now i'm 17weeks pregnant.everyone keeps saying it would be nice to have a little girl.especially my partners family as he got boys from previous relationship.i dont mind if its a boy or girl as long as uts healthy.i've been blessed anyway to have a baby.plus i've only got 1son and wouldnt cgange him at all.he's so sweet,handsome and caring so would i not want another son lie him?i get so annoyed and stressed out by peoples comments!!!driving me mad sometimes.i dont really wanna find out babys sex by partner does.if its a boy i can just imagine their comments...with my first son i had the same.thats why i was always so protective and didnt want anyone to babysitt...some people can be so mean sometimes and i just wanna scream!!!...

[Skyblueboston]

My mum and dad was over the moon it was a boy apart fom my sister who just had a boy we ave no boys in the family so another little boy is very welcome

I don't mind what I have as long as bubba is healthly every life no matter what sex is a blessing

[DrFluffy]

Any person who would seriously judge my child, and see them as a second rate citizen, based solely on its sex would have no part in it's upbringing, no matter who they were. They would be infinitely better off without narrow minded idiots surrounding them!

[Thirdtimelucky]

Wow I seen my share of mean people, during my pregnancy. I don't care about the sex of my baby as long as they grow up happy and healthy. But I think my father in law is holding out for a grandson to carry on his name, but I'm sure that he'll be chuffed either way. Just concentrate on you and baby, if they whingy, ( and they shouldn't ) that's their loss

[Blue321]

We're really jealous of you having a girl!! Seriously though, we're so happy to be having a healthy happy baby and that's all we and anyone in our family could wish for xx

[ritz21 in reply to Blue321]

hahahaha Blue321, you are funny ;). Shall I consider my baby girl to be the show-stopper (I was and I liked those friendly jealousies, still do ... and I so desperately wanted a baby girl first, because I have to pass the tantrums and drama to someone !!

[Hidden]

Ive always wanted a baby girl but wouldn't mind if I have a boy.luckily am expecting a baby girl!!so I wouldn't care if anyone wasn't happy or made negative comments about the sex of my baby because it is my child at the end of the day not theirs!!!!

[ritz21 in reply to Hidden]

hey we are no different. My mind would stop thinking if I would think of a baby boy - to start with I could not even think of a suitable baby boy name, whereas for a little girl it just came to my mind so instantly. I just thought of one name and my husband loved it too

[Hidden in reply to ritz21]

Haha I've had her name in mind since I was a teenager now am 33!my patner loves it as we'll so ya we are definitely naming her that!!

[ritz21 in reply to Hidden]

than I would say you are like how my mother was. She named me when she was 15 thankfully I was born to her !!

[ritz21]

Interesting comments from all of you. I personally come from a state of India which has a sex ratio of 829 girls per 1000 boys. The story behind it is that during 1980s India went on campaigning 2 babies norm to check its population. A lot of men were even forced sterilized during a national emergency period. This was followed by liberalization in all sectors and Indian doctors were exposed to techniques to discover the gender of the baby. Being a male dominated country like rest of the world - Indian parents started aborting their female fetus to have boys. A sorry state of affairs which left my home state to have only 829 female per 1000 boys (one of the lowest in the world).

I was born alive, at the time when this whole drama was going on - so that would surely say something about my own family - who have been indeed the very informed and intelligent lot.

Thankfully dad and few of his lawyer friends went on a campaign against this practice (now that I was born alive, I think he got more responsible for other female babies) and we got a law in India which prohibits diagnosing and revealing the gender of the baby before its born (ofcourse there are fall-outs but Govt. has been very active in punishing the guilty and also making programs to promote scholarship among women and girls - including providing full educational scholarship to families with single girl child)

When I was to discover the baby gender my parents were strictly against it - they are very principled in this regard - given that they fought for a law. But I was just too curious to confirm that I am having a baby girl

My parents are very very glad, same does not however goes for my grand-mother, who has been tutored into patriarchy and male-dependent life since the time she migrated from Pakistan to safe her life during Indian independence. But than she said - "I think my grand daughter did me more proud than my grandsons, so I am hoping my great-grand-daughter would follow the league". but at the same time she also said "you can bring us a baby boy next time". Her emotions, perception of right and wrong and social confusion, everything amused me

[Blue321 in reply to ritz21]

Women are great and powerful, that's why we have been oppressed for so long.

It's a really interesting story and balances the darker side of patriarchy tales from countries where there is a one child or similar family planning policy.

I'm glad to here of the positive (and not just punitive) social policy measures.

Your own story is also very interesting, your parents are heroes!!