Teenage pregnancy- urgent advice/ help needed!! any advice would be extremely appreciated

[monkey3456]

I am 16 years old and just found out i was pregnant to my partner-(18) my mum will kick me out as soon as i tell her so i want to gather my options before i talk to her, do any of you have any advice on any benefits i could receive/people to talk too/or general advice, im so scared but abortion isn't a choice for me, any advice would be appreciated but please don't judge/criticize because- although i take full blame- we were taking precautions ( i was on the pill )

[Hidden]

Probably best to go citizens advice ! If your mum does kick you out then u will b classed as homeless, if you go to council or housing association you will b a priority case to be housed . There is a lot to consider in regards to keeping the baby and setting things up and it will not be easy but there is help out there for you.

Maybe your gp could help

If you have a teacher/tutor or someone else to speck to in confidence.

You only say your 16 so don't take offense as you could b in school or collage.

Your not the 1st and won't be the last!

[monkey3456 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, and no i don't, i had to take time of college early this year because of and unrelated illness so got kicked out so i have no one apart from my partner a nd he doesn't know any more then me thanks again x

[raogbole]

I agree with jds, best head to citizens advice ,and find out your options , the council, and housing association sounds best too, well done for doing the right thing and deciding to keep the baby, your definitely not the first to have this happen to you! Hope everything turns out ok, benefits that could be recieved are possibly maternity benefits later on in pregnancy, housing benefit if the council rehouses you, and child benefit once little one arrives. Hope this helps, apologies if it doesnt, hope all goes well with you xx

[monkey3456 in reply to raogbole]

Thank you, are they are confidential though? will they make me tell my family or tell them themselfs? and thank you, my boyfriend want's this baby and so do I, thanks again and merry christmas xx

[AmesHk]

Sorry you have found yourself in this position and are unable to turn to family for advise. I agree citizens advise initially, they can point you in the right direction to start. It is important you find support and people you can talk to as there is a lot to consider.

First and foremost you have to be strong for yourself and the baby. I do hope your partner is supportive and any decisions you make are incredibly well thought out.

Wishing you all the best

A x

[monkey3456 in reply to AmesHk]

Are they confidential though? as i don't want my family finding out from someone else, but thank you ever so much and yes, he's been very supportive, and wants to keep the baby, he also offered to do more hours at work, so i have alot of support in that area, thanks again x

[Kc1983]

Talk to your mum she may really surprise you

[tigernoodles]

speak to your midwife, that is what she is there for. and have a chat with your mum, she loves you and wants whats best, this will be a shock for her but you may find her incredibly supportive.

I hope it works out for you x

[monkey3456 in reply to tigernoodles]

How do i get a midwife? I daren't speak to my G.p about it as my mum has known them all for over 10 years and im so scared they tell her, but thank you x

[lulu27]

You can receive benifits but council will put you in a mother and baby unit because of ure age till ure 18 they see it as u need supervising and help but try talking to your mom or your parners parents you need to see what ure options are you will be surprised they mite be really angry but give it time I was myself in the same sitution 15 nearly 16 I explained to my parents that I didn't want there help and will pay my own way and support my child and my partner will they agreed that I cud stay as long as I went to college and got a good education at the same time its gonna be hard work but if ure getting support from ure partner then u should be fine. Hope this helps x

[monkey3456 in reply to lulu27]

Thank you, whats a mother and baby until may i ask though? and yeah he's been very supportive and wants to keep the baby and stand by us.. it also help he works x

[mumofone2009]

i agree with tigernoodles chat with your midwife as that is what midwifes are there for and then have a chat with citizens advice and let them know the situation as they can put you in touch with a few organisations.

[monkey3456 in reply to mumofone2009]

Thank you x

[mumofone2009 in reply to monkey3456]

your welcome this site is a big help and If I am honest I fell pregnant with my first child whilst on the pill and him using protection too. I hope you get everything sorted

[monkey3456 in reply to mumofone2009]

That was the same with us, i was so shocked because we'd always been so careful. Thank you again x

[Megzey]

Go on the internet and look for your local council housing helpline if renting private is not an option and they will be able to assist you. Also if you ring HM revenue child benifiet department they will be able to advise what you are eligable for. I do think if my daughter said she was pregnant I would be dissapointed at first but I certantly wouldn't kick her out. Maybe you should look for a place of your own with your partner to bring your baby up rather than living at home and you and your partner can be together with your baby. Has your partner told his parents yet? You will get through this and there are lots of people that love you that will be willing to support you I am sure. Good luck.

[monkey3456 in reply to Megzey]

Thank you, this has helped alot and i know because my big sister got pregnant at 17 and my mum kicked her out, and no he hasn't told his parents yet, but he lives with his grandparents, we both know he parents will be supportive but his grandparents will be very dissapointed, thanks again x

[eliss78]

sorry to say that but if you believe you won't get any support from your family or your boyfriends family abortion is the best option for you.because you both still child and cant take responsibility of a baby.sorry

[monkey3456 in reply to eliss78]

We would get support of his mum and dad just not mine, i dont think i could handle the thought of aborting it

[tigernoodles]

your GP is sworn to secrecy so cannot inform your parents of anything if you don't want them to. either that or call your local hospital and ask for maternity. they will be able to advise you, give you midwife details so you can ask them anything in confidence.

speak to midwife first, get the pregnancy confirmed and talk to her about the options you have. however alone you feel at the moment, you aren't, and you will be able to get through this with support that is readily available

[monkey3456 in reply to tigernoodles]

Thank you so much, you really have settled my head alittle, and okay, do i contact the hospital and ask for a midwife? i know it sounds stupid but i have no idea

[tigernoodles]

no problem. if there is a way to send a private message on here I am happy to give you my email address if you want someone to talk to.

call the hospital, ask to speak to the maternity ward and when you get through, explain your situation and ask for next steps.

my midwife is wonderful and has seen and heard it all as have most I think!!! don't be scared to talk to them, they are there to support you as an expecting mum, no one else. x

[monkey3456 in reply to tigernoodles]

I think there is, shall i send my email to you? but thank you, really for this it really helps x

[sugar123]

These thingz happen so dont feel bad.Any form of contracaption is 100 percent granted. I think its great you decided to keep the bby n tat ur boyfriend is supporting you. It will be hard but there is alot of help for you out there. If your mum does decided to kick you out of her house then you will be able to apply for council housing. You will top of the council housing list because you are seen as homeless. Meanwhile you can find a house to rent and claim housing benefit which is help towards the rent You can claim income support and your also entitled to child benefit and child tax credit. And your entitled to healthy start vounchers which you can use to buy the bbys milk, cows milk or veg and fruits. So there is alot help out there. If ur boyfriend is working then he can help you buy somethings for the bby aswel. If ned any mre advice then im alwayz here hunX

[monkey3456 in reply to sugar123]

Thank you ever so much, we both want to keep the baby but i feel guilty i wont be able to provide for it myself but that's settled me, thanks again x

[sugar123]

is not*

[sugar123]

Sori missed out the wrd

[Mumaj]

Hiya hun. I know this must be a scary time for you finding out that your pregnant at a young age. Im sorry that you dont feel like you cant talk to your mum for support, that must be hard. I can completely understand that you want to keep the baby and you dont want to consider an abortion. I would be the same. Thats your first big decision made as parents. Just ring your local doctors and say you need to register with a midwife. They'll take some details and a midwife should get in contact with you within a couple of weeks. The doctors are private and confidential and your mum should almost certainly not find out this way. When you do speak to a midwife just explain everything to her, she will be able to give you advise. Also as others have said ringing citizens advise and explaing your situation may be helpful as to what steps you can take. Chin up sweet. These things happen, even to those of us that are careful. There is always options and you just have to do what is best for you. Good luck x

[monkey3456 in reply to Mumaj]

It is and completely terrifying! but this site has really helped and so has everyone with their support so thank you again but i am going to ring my doctors as soon as Christmas is over and done with so thanks for your advice.. it helped greatly! x

[Rowdy]

Hi, go with what feels right for you. Don't even consider an abortion if you're not sure. It is a big step no matter what your age is. My sister had her first at 16, thankfully my parents were great( although disappointed). She is 35 now, with three kids, good job,nice home and lovely husband( he is not the first's Dad,he is still on the scene and they all get on well). It wasn't easy for her but she wouldn't change a thing. My nephew and sister are incredibly close, and I am sure it's because there is not much of an age gap. I am 40 and due my first in six weeks and it's still scary as hell. Keep your chin up. Speak to your Mum as soon as you can,even if you could stay there until the baby comes. It will give you time to sort everything out. Good luck xx

[monkey3456 in reply to Rowdy]

Aw that really puts my head at rest thank you, i haven't considered aborting it- my boyfriend has the same view- so its made the decision so much easier but aw, congratulations. Thanks again xx

[anekakeripikmalang]

We recommend that you do not do abortions, I know it is indeed heavy. But there is no harm in trying its best to first discuss the problem with the parents. Keep praying and asking forgiveness and help to God. There will always goodness if you always give the best decisions first. Keep fighting the help of those people who love you are always around you

[monkey3456 in reply to anekakeripikmalang]

Thank you and abortion was never a choice i don't believe that it's right for him/her to pay fro our mistake but thanks again x

[ritz21]

My family always say that babies need just a little food and lot of love ! and I am sure darling you can give that to your child. Do not be scared - although, as a first time pregnant woman I too am little nervous - but i guess once they come to this world they find their ways to charm people around them, get love, give love and grow into amazing human beings

[Bunny1344]

Hi honey,

I agree with the posts above, could you go to a brook/family planning clinic? They can put you in touch with a young persons midwife and it would be worth going to a local sure start centre or contacting your local services to people/social services as they can get you a worker who will help you get your benefits, a house, things for you and the baby and help you get sorted! They will NOT judge you or take your baby away, they are a supportive service especially for people who need their support.

Good luck, if you say which area you live (town) I could get you the numbers from a couple of places. Xxx

[monkey3456 in reply to Bunny1344]

Aw this is so lovely thank you, but i miscarried on boxing day:(xxx

[Bunny1344 in reply to monkey3456]

Oh Monkey, I'm so sorry. Well let's hope that 2013 brings you lots of love and happiness. Take care. Xxxx