Termination question

[Nignog]

The reason I'm not over the moon becozit was forced I'm really upset and Very low would it be bad to terminate plz plz don't think bad of me and I'm scared as I don't have any1 to talk to but you guys on net sorry

[Suzy890]

How do you mean it was forced? You're bound to be in shock hun, but you need to really give it some thought if you are going to get a termination. Maybe you should talk to your doctor and see what options are avaliable? Whatever you decide is your choice and it will be right for you hun hope this helps xx

[rmh2012]

Agree wholeheartedly with Suzy890. Consult your GP, look into your options, and don't rush your decision. At the end of the day, you need to make the right choice for you and your current circumstances.

Can't recommend strongly enough that you speak to an appropriate health professional - and not just to work out your options - you will benefit just by being able to talk things through with someone.

Take care

R x

[Nignog]

I didn't have intercourse but the person inserted sperm inside me forcefully I have been feeling very low I don't no who to talk to every time I think about it I end up in tears brings back memories of when I was abused as a child I feel as though this is god way of punishing me some people might think I'm selfish I no I can't keep baby got to see my gp tomorrow but been reading on net it just sound so scary wish I had some one to support me

[rmh2012]

Tell your GP tomorrow. Your GP should be able to refer you to a good counselling service. Is there anyone who can go with you? If someone goes with you for company, you don't have to tell them why you are there, and they could wait in reception while you speak to the doctor.

It's ok to feel scared and messed up right now. Just make sure that your GP helps you to find someone to talk this through with. There may even be support groups in your local area where you can talk to other people in your situation.

R x

[Nignog in reply to rmh2012]

Thank you so much for replying unfotantly I don't have any family or friends so I am going to gp today at alone 3 I'm just to embaressed to tell some one face to face I feel really bad as there are woman out there who can't have a baby and I am having a abortion feel really scared and alone really this should have been happiest time of my life being pregnant but instead I keep thinking about that nite and what happened in my child hood as I was sexually abused through out most of my life the people who bought me up use to beat me up as well then 2and half years ago I run away from an arrange marriage due to my culture I can not go back either as family would do god knows what but talking on this site I feel as I have you guys to talk to u probably think that is sad xx

[rmh2012 in reply to Nignog]

It must be so intimidating to talk about this face to face with anyone. But you really must tell your GP everything so that your GP can recommend you to the best possible resources in your area. I'm so sorry that you have to do this on your own, but you will get through it, and we're all here if you need us.

I'm sure I can't even begin to properly grasp the cultural differences, since I only see them from the perspective of my childhood and culture. But cultural differences or not, what you suffered through your childhood is unacceptable and you'll benefit from talking it through with an appropriate professional. And arranged marriages for UK citizens are constantly under debate as to the legalities versus cultural sensitivities - I'm sure that the law is on your side!

I'll be thinking of you this afternoon. Just make sure that your GP knows all the circumstances and background. Better to have 10 minutes of embarrassment to ensure that your GP helps you find the best path for you and your particular circumstances.

And you're right, being pregnant should be the happiest time of your life! And one day it will be.

R x

[Nignog in reply to rmh2012]

Just got back to gp she has transferred me for a termination have to go middle of the month she said when this is sorted I have to go and see her again I ended up all emotional and in tears Just hope this would get done and over with I couldn't tell her bout how I got preg I just broke down felt like I was just a number thanks for replying to my message now it feels like forever waiting till mid September but hopefully it will be over soon x have a good weekend it is nice to have people like yourself to talk to

[rmh2012 in reply to Nignog]

Take care of yourself, and remember that a quick online search should turn up phone support services in your area. Perhaps you could even phone your GP to ask about appropriate support services.

You don't have to do this on your own.

R x

[jenzoneill in reply to Nignog]

I understand.. hunny there are i promise other people out there you really are not alone!! Termination is a huge choice to make and not one to be made lighty but so is having a child so with all you are feeling and how its happened you are being a good person to look at your choices. Counselling is not a ever something to be ashamed about you did not deserve anything that happened to you and the nasty people that did this to you do not deserve to have a abusive hold in your mind. I promise from experience that the only way to get better is to get help and support. I completly agree with @rmh2012.

we are here for you.. don't be scared!

xx

[Kaleidoscope]

We are here to support you. You are not alone and there is professional advice available for you, please trust in that. Stop thinking you are being punished, you are not! If someone has forced sperm into you I think it is also a matter for the law. I agree with all the above in that seeing your GP as soon as possible is a great start to getting access to relevant resources in your area. Tell them everything and they will help you make the decision that is right for you. Thinking of you and hoping that you get the help you need. xxx

[Nignog in reply to Kaleidoscope]

Thank you very much for your reply you lot are all the people I have to talk to going to gp today at 3 will let you no wot iv done thanks again x

[Nignog in reply to Kaleidoscope]

Been to doc having consultation mid September for termination can't WAIt till it is over feel like a nightmare thank you for talking to me have a good weekend thanks again x

[tigernoodles]

oh love, my heart goes out to you thinking you have no one. you have us! please please talk this through with your GP, they can refer you to a counsellor who will support you every step of the way. if you were forced, then please consider talking to the police. have you got away from the person who forced you?

please look after yourself and let us know how you get on at the doctors xx

[Nignog in reply to tigernoodles]

Been to see gp she has referred me to see a termination doc that will happen some time mid September cant wait till this is over it was nice to see I had people like yourself to talk to thank you very much i couldn't tell gp how I got preg as I just broke down in tears but I did ask for counselling after this so hopefully I could get on with my life instead of thinking of the past but I suppose it made me the person I am today Lonley sad alone no family no friends hopefully all that will change at least I will have some friends. Just hope I don't get to big in the mean time have a lovely weekend thanks once again xx

[gemmw]

how far gone are you? if ur more than 5 weeks then i couldnt seehow u would be able to kill it.. y not adoption..a baby has a heart week at 5-7 weeks

[mum2nearly4]

I don't agree with you gemmw, this girl has gone through so much already. Having too keep a baby that was forced on you is hard enough to deal with.

This woman has the right todo what she wants. Most of us support her. And wish her the best of luck in the world. I am brought up to believe against abortion but I personally believe that under certain circumstances I am all for it.

Nignog I hope every thing works out well for you and you get the help you need after. Many of us here are here to support and talk to you when ever you need.

Take care

A x

[rmh2012]

I do not agree with gemmw - all of us have the right to choose in relation to our circumstances. This is all the more important for those who have been through such trauma.

The amount of time allowed to choose a termination has been determined by minds with far greater medical and legal knowledge than any of us on this site. Personal opinion is fine, but please consider the effect of your opinion before posting.

Nignog, hope you are doing ok, and remember that we're here for you.

R x

[anix23]

I agree with mum2nearly4 and rmh2012 - Nignog you have every right in the world to do what is best for YOU at this time and especially under these circumstances. I hope you are given good counselling so that you have a place to speak openly about your past and a chance to have the best life possible.

You always have us too!

Wishing you all the best hon xxx

[Nignog]

Thank you for everyone's support I know some people will think what I am doing is bad but I'm sorry if I could turn back time I don't think there would be much I could change I'm not that confident and out going I have been punish myself for most of my life now this happens trust me when I say if I could love myself and the baby then I would not be doing this but just the thought of how this happened makes me angry I'm really sorry to the people who are offended thanks for all who are here to support thank you xx nignog x

[mum2nearly4]

Nignog what you have to remind yourself every day is that this was not your fault! Never mind people who judge you for the wrong reasons. Personally if I was in your shoes I would also terminate this pregnancy. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for bringing a baby into this world if I went through the same as you. Children like to know everything about how they were born etc and I wouldn't like to be able to tell the child truthfully as it would bring back painful memories that are best forgotten.

It takes a strong person to do what you are doing because if you kept the pregnancy you might regret and not bond or even like the child. There are so many things to think about and feel guilty about as it is.

As I said b4 I hope that you can in time get over EVERYTHING that has happened to you. You never know you might end up helping people that have had the same experiences as your self.

I wish you the best of luck in your future and many happy days/ years for you. X

[Thirdtimelucky]

Firstly, nignog. None of what you were put through now, and in the past was your fault. It's the horrible and disgusting people that did this to you that are to blame. Please please please stop punishing yourself or believing that you deserved this. You didn't! I don't blame you one iota for wanting a termination, no one should force pregnancy on you. And please, if anyone offers you counselling for what you are going through, and have been through. Take it, trust me I've never known anyone to regret having it. My heart goes out to you, you have had to be so strong. This is your life you're in charge now, do what is best for you