Feeling ignored....

[Mumble-bee]

Hi there

I'm 9 weeks pregnant and feeling a bit ignored by health care professionals. Admittedly it's my first baby so I have no idea how it works, but I thought there would be more...

I went to my GP to tell her I was pregnant. She just said she'd refer me to the local hospital and told me to start taking folic acid - she didn't do a test or anything. That was nearly 3 weeks ago, and when I called to check my referral all went through I was told the hospital would be in touch in 'a few weeks'.

A lot of posts on here advise people to call their midwife if they have concerns, but I don't have a midwife or even a contact at the unit. Is this normal?

Just want to check I shouldn't have seen or heard from someone by now.

Thanks

[rmh2012]

Hi,

This is perfectly normal. How your treatment is managed depends entirely on your NHS Trust. In my area, your GP will only test to confirm the pregnancy if you are unsure about whether you are pregnant, but if you've missed a period and confirmed with a home test GP will send letter of referral to the relevant hospital. I only ever received notification of my next appointment from the hospital a few weeks ahead of the appointment (you do wonder if they've forgotten about you!!).

So, if your NHS Trust is run the same as mine, your first appointment is likely to be around 12 weeks for the dating scan, and you will have your initial visit with a midwife and doctor on that date. The midwife will take relevant background info, and the doctor will have a chat with you about whether you have any specific risk factors (for example, age / health / genetic factors within your or the fathers family). Depending on your individual circumstances, they'll decide whether to see you exclusively at the hospital or whether to refer you to a local clinic for your midwife visits (and only see you at the hospital for subsequent scans).

Other NHS Trusts are run differently, and often the GP is not involved at all, but instead give you a number to call to set up an appointment with a midwife.

It feels like a long time to wait to get some sort of confirmation or validation of your pregnancy, and it's easy to feel like you've been lost in the system of bureaucracy, but hang in there! The rewards when you get to that first scan will be worth it!

I hope this helps.

R x

[redjnr]

Unfortunately, the nds tend to be under the opinion that pregnancies are not viable until after 12 weeks....so unless you have a previous miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy, they don't normally even see you until you are at least 10 - 12 weeks..that said...some areas are different and some gps are really good with women in early pregnancy, but on the whole, it does like you are ignored at first...

[tigernoodles]

you can make an appointment to see your midwife at any time. call your maternity unit and ask for a contact.

I had my first midwife appt at 8 weeks and the next one is booked for 16 weeks. they contacted the hospital to arrange my 12 scan (which is tomorrow and we are both ridiculously excited!!).

if you feel a bit ignored, then do something about it! your GP or maternity unit can give you midwife details. my midwife told me they prefer to see mothers early so they can help with getting used to being pregnant, what to eat, exercise etc especially for first time mums.

don't sit feeling isolated, they are there to help at whatever stage, just call them and ask.

[rmh2012]

To be fair, while the NHS may not be overly proactive until around 12 weeks, there is very little they can do until that point. Early scans are only beneficial if there is something wrong, and the NHS website has loads of information on stages of pregnancy, what to expect, diet and vitamins, and what symptoms to look out for if you thing something is wrong.

I think they could improve a little on communication of what to expect from them and when - it is a big delay in some trusts, particularly for first time mums.

But honestly, you get a fantastic service from the NHS. Everything is provided to you with no upfront costs from start to finish, and apart from the early wait for information, I've had no complaints. My sister had her children in Australia and there are loads of upfront costs, some of which are partially reimbursed through the national health system, but most of which remains out of pocket - despite her making a hefty annual contribution through the tax system.

And the one time that I pushed for an early scan (because of a trip to Australia which was booked well in advance of my falling pregnant), I was offered a scan at the end of 11 weeks (rather than the usual 12 weeks). Everything seemed normal on the scans, but I suffered a missed miscarriage in the 12th week which was not detected until 16 weeks. If the scans had been offered at the usual time, it's highly likely that low growth rates or the actual miscarriage would have been detected on time.

It's fair enough to be proactive if you have concerns or would like information or reassurance, but honestly, trust the NHS to have good reasons for managing pregnancies the way they do.

R

[gemmw]

ive got my 6week scan tmrw but only because i depanded it.. ive had 2miscarriages before the last one was only 6months ago... i hv been bleeding for a week with cramps and bk pain but the doctors dont seem to care.. they havnt given me any advice like goon bed rest or anything to ensure a health start to my pregnancy and im getting fustrated to.. people on here have been very helpful though.. unfortunately the nhs cudnt care less if any of us lost our babies xxx

[bobby70]

If I was worried about my pregnancy, or needed advice, I would phone my local maternity hospital/ward and speak to a midwife. It may be an idea to explain your concerns to a midwife, who unlike GPs, have specialist knowlege of pregnancy. I am nearly 6weeks pregnant and I have my first midwife appointment this Thursday. I telephoned the maternity ward for advice after getting a positive home test and she gave me an appointment there and then and told which midwife will be appointed to my care.

I have a 20month old son and I had a missed miscarrige in January this year, we discovered at the 12week scan that the baby's heart had stopped at 10weeks 3days. I will not be getting an early scan, as in reality, a scan can only tell you that your baby is fine at that point in time, sadly it doesn't guarentee a successful pregnancy. Midwives may seem to us that they don't care as much as we would like them to in the first trimester, but realistically speaking, there is not much that can be done to stop a miscarriage once it starts at the early stages, sadly, 25% of pregnancies do not end with a live baby.

Midwives are human too, they are women (and men) who have a love of babies and of caring for people, or they wouldn't have studied all those years to do it. But being human, and with such a high rate of unsuccessful pregnancies, I can understand why they have to be proffessional and take a step back emotionally, especially in the early weeks.

Mumble-bee, my advice would be to contact the maternity ward to speak to a midwife for advice and take it from there.

Good Luck. x

[Mumble-bee]

Thanks to everyone for your comments. It's really reassuring to know that I have some great people to come to for advice! Apart from a little sickness I've been feeling fine so I think I'll wait for another week or so and if I haven't got an appointment for my 12 week scan I'll give them a call.

Good luck to everyone xxx