Older and pregnant

[daltonlady]

Is any one on this forum aged 40? After taking a test I've found out I'm pregnant. Its what my partner and I wanted. I now have confidence issues. Why? Well I'm older and never been pregnant before. Anybody got any advice?

[rmh2012]

You'll be just fine!! I'm your age and am pregnant with my second child.

In my case, my husband and I feel that we've picked exactly the right time for us to have children. We're comfortable financially, as a couple and as individuals. I think this puts us in perfect position to be relaxed and confident as parents, and our financial stability allows us to devote time to our children rather than careers or getting ourselves set up.

So, there are bound to be lots of positives for you both. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the journey.

There's a great site for older mums which has some great information on stats re older mums, plus lots of relevant information and advice. I certainly found it helpful. mothers35plus.co.uk/

Besides, it was on the news lately that there's been a swing toward having children in late 30's to early 40's. My husband's light-hearted take was that we represent the cutting edge of an emerging trend

Hope that's been helpful to you

R x

[daltonlady in reply to rmh2012]

Thank you for responding to my question.

I actually feel more comfortable about being pregnant now. I look at my boyfriend and feel happy because we have been given a chance to be parents.

Reading your response has given me such a boost and I will check the website out too.

kind regards

x

[gemmamumma in reply to rmh2012]

There are lots of positives to being financially stable before you have children, but what about the increase in health risks for both mother and baby? It is factually healthier for women to have children from their late teens to mid twenties.

[rmh2012 in reply to gemmamumma]

The World Health Organisation looks at health on a holistic basis, and while some physical health risks may increase for older mothers, there are significant reductions in social health risks for children of parents who are financially and emotionally stable.

Also, bit of food for thought - when the BBC reported that there was an upswing in older mothers, they reported that 100 years ago women were having children at the age of 18, but were only living until late 30's. Better health and greater control over timing of having children is now resulting in people choosing to have children in late 30's but with people having a much longer lifespan. Perhaps, as a species, we've only picked up the required skills at about the mid-point in our life (and life is more complex today than 100 years ago), and perhaps this is a correction of an anomaly in human breeding patterns.

[Rowdy]

Hi, I am 40 and pregnant. We have been trying for about three years. We started having tests when I became pregnant. I was worried that I was too old to conceive, once the doctor said not to worry about my age I became pregnant. Then I had a few problems to start so was more worried than ever. I am now 4 months and feeling great. We have been married for 10 years but we didn't feel ready until a few years ago. We can' t wait for this baby to be part of our lives. I think us older mums have a lot to offer. We are much more mature,confident,patient and financially stable then we were when we were younger. My sister had her children very young and even tough she wouldn't change a thing does admit that she missed out on a lot of her youth and had to make a lot of sacrifices. You'll be a great mum, enjoy x x

[daltonlady in reply to Rowdy]

When I was in my 20's I never thought about having kids. I also don't think I was ready to be a parent. I have met this wonderful man and feel blessed that we have such a good relationship. I'm lucky to have friends with small children. One day it really hit home that I wanted to be a mum. After many years of being on the pill I finally decided no more. The nurse who I initially spoke to about how I felt was lovely and I came away feeling, I could be a mum.

It's still early days yet. I went to the doctor today and he booked me in to see the midwife. He didn't do a test or nothing, just relied on the fact I'd done 3 and they had all come back positive. I take it that's normal?

I'm happy and our friends and family are too.

I feel so much better for reading your reply. It fills me with love and happiness that being an older mum will be the best experience ever.

x

[rmh2012 in reply to daltonlady]

Hi,

In my experience, first pregnancy they did urine test, second pregnancy took my word for it, third pregnancy did a test.

First pregnancy, I was a little hesitant about the results - still a bit in shock. Second pregnancy, I was relaxed and certain of the results (but unfortunately miscarried some way down the track). Third pregnancy, I'd tested positive, was sure that I was pregnant, but also experienced some period style cramping similar to that of the week before I'd started spotting in the last pregnancy, so they not only tested my urine to be certain it still looked on track, but they also sent the sample for more detailed analysis.

So, given you'd done three tests, they're going to take your word for it! They really do try to match tests and treatment to your circumstances.

So, relax and enjoy. You sound like you'll be a great mum.

R x

[Thirdtimelucky]

I'm 37 and I'm in the best point in my life emotionally and fiscally, when I was 25 I could have copped my now husband was definitely not ready, so we waited untill we were ready, wish I had your doctor mine harped on that although I feel young blah blah, blah. Came out of there feeling like an old spinster. A friend of mine had a very welcome surprise at 40, and that was some years back, so don't you worry.