My feelings for my partner are dimishing.....

[Surrey]

I have found out I am just over 7 wks and absolutely delighted - but, my feelings for my partner have changed drastically and I don't know what to do. Everything he says and does drives me nuts and I actually don't think it is just hormones as I am cool with everyone else. I genuinely don't think he is taking the right level of interest in the pregnancy and also I am even questioning if I think he is the right person to bring up a child and influence and inspire them. I have always been a very independent person and I am just wondering if I should just go it alone (these problems have been around before I conceived, but maybe not so prevalent) - any one got any advice? Single or in a relationship?

[bubbles22]

Although you may not think this is your hormones, they can do crazy things! Especially in pregnancy. Heightened emotions is a major symptom.

I understand what your saying, in that you don't think he is taking enough interest in your pregnancy. Perhaps you could try explaining this to him - try to conversate calmly instead of becoming irritated by him.

Everyone will tell you that being a single parent is hard, but there are lots of women who do it! So don't listen to the negativity, you must do what is right for you, no one else can tell you how you feel.

Your baby's father will always be that - the father. So he has rights to be in the child's life, even if part time. At some point you loved this man, enough to conceive a child with him. Take that in to consideration; are these issues something that can be patched up or worked on?

I hope things turn out as you want them to be. And I wish you the best of luck for the future no matter the out come x

[bubbles22]

Oh and, I almost forgot to congratulate you on your pregnancy!

[bec_cymru]

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I can't comment on your relationship prior to getting pregnant - only you can make a judgement on that. However please don't reconsider your relationship based on on your other half feels about pregnancy. With our first daughter and this pregnancy (30+5) my OH wouldn't allow himself to get excited about the baby - the idea of something going wrong was way too much for him to handle so he just disengaged from the pregnancy until I past the 28 week point, then he started to slowly warm up. He still participated in scans and things, but didn't want to talk about baby at all (or how I was feeling).

First time round, this was awful - I felt let down and alone but in the late stages of pregnancy he really started to shine and once daughter was born he was a changed man. Having us both safe was all he wanted. He really is a wonderful dad.

This time round I was ready for the same, it didn't hurt less but at least I understood his behaviour (he opened up after daughter was born about his behaviour - trying to speak to him before that point just led to arguments). My daughter by contrast has been beyond excited the whole time and cannot wait to be a big sister.

In terms of our relationship - we are both very independent people with clear ideas on how things can be done, but also polar opposites in terms of opinion quite frequently. This does result in passionate disagreements from time to time and on occaision I am sure I could cheerfully wander off into the sunset to live by my own rules again...however I do love him with all my heart and we've been together for 10 years.

Hope my experience gives you some perspective.

Whatever you decide best of luck with the pregnancy - I hope everything goes smoothly for you. x

[Hidden]

Hi Surrey,

As others have said, yes - congratulations on your pregnancy!

Changes to relationships or to your feelings towards your partner can happen during pregnancy and with the arrival of your baby - as there are so many changes going on in your life, your body and your priorities.

I can think of a few helpful articles that might give you some more information and support....we have quite a lot of information about the hormonal changes that happen during pregnancy and how those can affect your moods, you can read here: nct.org.uk/pregnancy/emotio...

It might also help to look through NCT's new 'Dad's View' section on pregnancy, to understand a bit more what he might be thinking. You could even show these articles to your partner to help him wrap his head around things more if he is open to it. nct.org.uk/pregnancy/dads-v...

Finally, changes in your relationships, including that with your partner, are a normal part of adjusting to life once the baby comes. This article may be useful - nct.org.uk/parenting/change...

Only you know what is right for you, your baby and your family. Best of luck with everything and congrats again!

Hope this helps,

Alice x

[Surrey]

Thank you Alice, Bubbles and Bec for taking the time to write - I just have some serious thinking to do now! Sx