Looking for advice and tips as I'm losing my mind here. Have an otherwise adorable 3 week old who sleeps well (daytime naps aren't amazing but gets 2-3 hrs when outside in the carrycot and maybe a couple of short one hour ones at home and gets a good 4-5 stretch at night since last week) and feeds well (every 2-3hrs during the day and 4-5 at night). Has put on weight well and generally (touch wood) there are no health concerns. The challenge are the nappy changes. Since he was about a week he screams his head off everytime I change him. (The only time he doesn't cry uncontrollably is when he's done a massive poo - THEN he doesn't mind getting changed!) I have tried everything!!!
I have short nails and he doesn't mind lying on his back otherwise so he shouldn't be in pain.
The temperature is def warm enough between 20 and 23 degrees Celsius. And I have tried changing him whilst swaddled up top and the same thing happens.
I use a really padded changing mat and in any case the same thing happens when I change him on a bed or sofa. At night I also change him in soft lighting.
I have a wipe warmer so it can't be the cold! (madness!)
I have tried white noise, music, dummies, one of us cuddling him whilst changing. NOTHING WORKS. And he does usually like a dummy.
What the fckng fck is this?! It's making me a mess seeing him like this 8-10 times a day. Sometimes I will just crack on and be done in one minute, others I have to stop and console him because he cries so hard he almost chokes up and goes bright red. He never behaves like this. He likes a bath, fusses normally when he's hungry, loves a cuddle, doesn't mind belly time, naps on his back and on my chest sometimes. I've asked the midwives but they talk to me like I'm a fckng idiot "babies cry, he was inside your belly just 3 weeks ago etc etc etc". I know babies cry but this is so specific and there must be something I can try.
Has it happened to any of you? Does it ever pass?!?!?! I'm gonna try leaving his legs out of his clothes to get him used to that but he's so little still and it's still a bit chilly for vest only playtime. I can't think of anything else I haven't tried already.
Thanks all xoxo
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Bella_Bee
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Mine did this for the first 4 weeks or so. I just did it as fast as possible while talking to him lots as I saw it as something that couldn’t be helped (the ONLY time I didn’t pick him up to console him crying was nappy changes as he always pees everywhere multiple times during and it’s too messy to pick him up in the middle, especially if also poopy!). He rarely cries during at 6 weeks now, usually just if tired, so has just gotten used to it. It’s horrid when they scream like that so I understand! Xx
Hi Bella_Bee,It does get easier trust me. When I first brought my twin boys back from the hospital they hated wet wipes, so we tried cotton pads with warm water, slight improvement, but nothing major. Both my boys hated having their nappies changed, one of the twins would straighten their legs and tense up in protest whilst crying, making it incredibly hard to put on and fasten the nappy. The other twin would try and kick away and be punching the air, also crying.
I agree with purpledoggy, try and make nappy changes as quick as posdible. I usually lay down a new nappy in position before opening and taking off the old nappy, this helps especially if they start to poo unexpectedly. Also as both my boys have peed on me on numerous occasions, I open their nappies quickly and throw a folded wet wipe on their genitals, helps loads, gives me time to clean their bottom area and add loads of sudacream.
My boys are now three months and have matured a bit, they still squirm about during night time nappy changes as they do not like their sleep being disturbed.
I read a booklet from UNICEF, advice for new parents and they suggest not to change wet nappies at night time, if it is dirty then go ahead and change. Provided you have added a lot of barrier cream this should protect against nappy rash.I prefer to change at night as my boys pee A LOT and if I do not, I have to contend later with wet bedding.
Yes, definitely use a barrier cream every time. Rash can come suddenly and the cream will also make it more comfortable for the baby. Just vaseline is enough if no rash so far.
Yes barrier cream is a must. My little one was in hospital recently and the consultant was using him to teach medical students and junior doctors, she turned him over to demonstrate his neck control which was good and went on to discuss nappy rash. As soon as she opened his nappy she was very suprised as he had no nappy rash, it must be quite common amongst babies. I would highly recommend sudacream, it is so good, we also used it to treat one of the twins eczema.
Just another perspective- We were told at our prenatal class and by midwife there was no need for barrier cream if no nappy rash as it can actually block the pores, I’ve never used it except in the little creases sometimes if they look red and my 11 month old has had nappy rash very very small amount for one night when he was teething badly and had really runny nappies. He has eczema too but never near that area so I don’t even put his emoilmemt lotion there after his bath so he doesn’t get sweaty etc from it. No idea if we were just lucky but this advice defo worked for us as I was ready to put all the lotions and potions on every time like the movies lol xx
We were told this by hospital Mw as well-barrier cream can block the absorbancy of the nappy and actually cause nappy rash. However, in our case he does actually need it every change as he gets a rash no matter ho often we change him if we don’t use a thin layer of cream. we just use water wipes (gently) to clean. I have eczema and am allergic to loads of things so have bern careful what we use on him. We are thinking of switching to reusable wipes though it’s hard to see what he’d be sensitive to in a water wipe. Xx
Aww bless- yeah we are the same with the eczema we use the most gentle products and it still happens but luckily not in the nappy area it’s more neck area and top of back- got a good cream cream from the chemist at the moment that seems to be working better 🤞🏽
Glad you were told the same- I was worried that my midwifes had told me something way out there with the barrier cream as I was all stocked up with lotions and potions and everything until they said that lol xx
Just to add we also hot told not to use any creams or potions and we didnt have any trouble with rashes or anything. Also got told that we didn't need to change every time they fed during the night too unless it was a poo. It certainly helps them get back to sleep quicker.xx
My Eliza also screams blue murder whilst changing her nappies! And whilst dressing her. She also goes purple and gargles it is horrendous. The only tip I have is to have everything ready and do it as fast as possible! Nappy pants are brilliant- my toddler is in them I find the Tesco ones just as good as pampers but not as nearly as expensive , but sadly they some in size 3 plus. No taping involved is involved. I can recommend pampers nighttime nappy pants I use this on my toddler after her bath and have no leaks overnight but unfortunately they sell in size 4 plus. They are brilliant! Worth the extra money 😊 Xx
I would definitely recommend reusable cloth wipes, they make clean up so quick. They might not help with the crying but they definitely get the job done.I found that I can use 1 or 2 wipes and they can clean up the biggest poos, I found that disposable wipes I had to use loads and felt I was almost scrubbing at babies skin.
I wet them with a bit of warm water and then just wash them when they're done.
I use cloth nappies too so they all get washed together, but you could wash your wipes in with your normal clothes wash.
I've picked up wipes at Tesco and Boots have their own range or you can buy online. I love the nappy den for my nappies and wipes, they've normally got some great deals on.
Night nappies, once they've stopped pooing at night you can leave on all night if you're not getting leaks. You might have to size up to get enough absorbency. They can have urine next to their skin and disposable nappies are very good at absorbing the wee away from the skin, but poo will burn if left for any length of time.
It does pass and then they normally love a bit of nappy free time.
I would double check with your gp if you keep getting nappy rash that it's not thrush before you spend any money changing anything, just in case. Reusable wipes, Muslinz on the nappy den site are really reasonable, £7.99 for 12 wipes, you'd probably need about 2 packs maybe 3 for full time wiping I do have some of the tesco ones too and I love those. I'd pick a wet bag too for carrying them out and about. There's a brand call Bear Bott that I love the prints of, or little love bum wet bags too are great (they also do amazing nappies if you wanted to trial Reusable nappies, I've had two children in reusables and never had nappy rash with either and rarely use nappy creams).
You could also have a look at fleece liners for your nappies, they're really soft on babies bum and help wick away wet from them. All the time baby is on milk you can just rinse them out and put in your normal wash, once they're weaning you would need to flick off the poo into the loo before washing them.
Fab thanks! I considered thrush this most recent time as it got very red very fast but it resolved with metanium as it did last time. As soon as I stop using metanium and just a thin layer of sudacrem (or nothing) it comes back within a week or so. The last time it flared quickly after starting a probiotic so may have been acidic poo due to the Lactobacillus or poss trace cows milk in it, so we have stopped that for now (I don’t eat dairy so not CMPA otherwise). I have the 8 week check next week so will discuss with the GP but so far I think it is just something irritating him rather than significant infection. I know they can be allergic to specific nappy brands so that’s the next thing to try, although if he was allergic to them I doubt the rash would ever get better, which it does. Xx
Completely normal and it'll pass, I remember checking this myself with HV and other mums and they all had the same experience. I think our baby got better when he was 8-10 weeks old. Now he loves nappy changes. One thing I'd recommend is using disposable wipes only when going out, they're not kind to skin and can quickly irritate the little one.
We found ours didn't like the cold of the changing mat so putting a muslin on it just made it feel a bit warmer. Also only changing when they had done a poo or there was a lot of pee. Nappies can absorb a lot of pee so once mine were not pooping every feed etc it was down to like 5 changes a day. We just talked to ours through out just really calmly and they do get used to it.
We put one of the toy things made for the going over the pram over our changing table that had little dangling animals and that distracted our little guy when he was that age and for a few months more (before he managed to yank it off and started throwing it near the poop 🤣) although I think it was still a couple of weeks before he started to calm down fully during nappy changes, they just don’t seem to like them at that age so I just tried to do them as little as we could and as quickly as possible. This is probably in my head but I also found that if I was tense abojt something going to happen my baby would be tense too- ie you are dreading the nappy change so they can sense that and get worried- but like I said I’m pretty sure this is in my head as it defo is something my dog and cats picks up on so I’ve probably just now associated incorrectly with the baby too 🤣
Hello dear, I understand your pain. Mine baby girl did this same in the first two week now she's turned 5week. You Can use cotton balls with warm water it's really helpful.
I would agree to use a nappy rash cream and see if the rims of the nappies are not rubbing against your baby’s skin. Cotton soaked in warm water helped for my baby. What I also use to do is to kiss her on her cheeks before and during the nappy change, so that she could feel my love and presence. It helped to settle for the future. I know it is hard when the baby screams. I’m sure your baby will settle from next week, the first three weeks are horribly rough. Good luck, you are a wonderful mother, don’t forget.
This happened to me! Little one would cry so much, that she’d go purple. Like literally purple. I found a quick feed before nappy change just changed it for good!
Yes my little one was the same around the same age, I think it lasted a few weeks. Nothing helped so I just got good at being fast. For him he just didn’t like having his clothes off. He then went through a phase of loving getting his nappy changed and the changing mat became his favourite place! I know it’s super stressful but it will pass xx
Hi, aww I feel your pain. It's so hard when they cry so hard they go into red face choke mode. Sometimes it's like level 0-100 in 30 seconds. It's stressful, but try to stay calm, take 2 deep breaths and get that nappy changed as quickly as you can! My baby girl also hated nappy changes at first, but since I'd say about 6-7 weeks she seems to understand it's a good thing and sometimes even lifts her legs and bum up ready now. I hope it will get easier for you soon too.
I never change her nappy overnight. Disrupting her sleep means at least an hour of getting her back down. Nope. I use Kit and Kin eco nappies. The nappy is VERY swollen after a full night but doesn't leak and doesn't wake baby up so must be comfortable enough, sometimes she can sleep for 12 hours (with 2-3 feed breaks).
Also, congratulations on such a healthy sleep pattern at 3 weeks! Wow! My baby girl is only just started to sleep for 4-5 hour stints at night at 14 weeks.
O e of ours used to go absolutley mental with nappy changing and when naked. We just got told it was normal but bloody hell it's so stressful!! However what I can say is that he has grown out of it. I know its distressing and hard but it does get better....I know that doesnt help much - I've just been asking for help on another post but at least you know it's not just you!!xxx
For anyone reading this having googled it, I'm incredibly happy to report that this stopped pretty quickly at 5 weeks. It was a LONG month with those toe curling screaming bouts so often but it did pass. Now of course we are dealing with other sorts of crying issues (hello wind you bastard!) but changing is no longer an issue. In fact, I now do it to distract him from his colic episodes - who would have thought it... Hang in there! At least this kind of crying stops when the changing stops. You just wait until they scream their little heads off for 2 hrs FOR NO REASON. 😱😭🤗
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