I’m really fortunate to have a beautiful DD who is now 15 months. She is my world. I would really like to try for another child, I’m currently 34. But I’m juggling in my head, when is the “right” time to try again. With the financial crisis, age gap, and only returning to work 3 months ago alongside can you really love another baby as much as your first…?
Just wondered what your experiences are..
Thanks in advance.
I don’t know if there’s ever a right time really. I’m 34 too, I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 3 month old. For me the age gap has been pretty perfect as my oldest will have 30 hours free childcare when my youngest starts nursery. She’s also old enough to understand a bit about having a baby around and I’m really blessed as she’s a lovely big sister. As for loving your second child, I don’t think you’ll believe how much you can love your second child until you see them, then you’ll wonder what you ever worried about <3. There’s no one size fits all and you don’t have to have a second baby just because that’s what everyone else thinks you should do, whatever you do will be there right choice for your family 
xxx
The age gap between mine are similar to ToniaB123. My second is 10 weeks old now and first is 2 years 3 months. We wanted a 2 year gap, stated trying when oldest was 15 months and caught first time. I too had only gone back to work just after my first born was 1 so telling work I was pregnant again so soon felt a little awkward but everyone was great and said they'd expected it - even still got a promotion at 5 months pregnant! We wanted a small age gap so that they'd grow up close and the financial element of free hours at nursery when we start paying for 2nd baby was also a factor.
Since having baby I've found the age gap a bit tough. Eldest understands a bit and is vert loving towards his baby brother but he still needs so much attention i find I'm constantly torn between spending time with them both. I'm lucky that I have plenty of support from grandparents and eldest still goes to nursery 2 days a week. Having the two of them at home all day is pretty intense.
Anything you read will say between ages 2-3 is most difficult adjustment period for the eldest which, given I'm in the thick of it I'd be inclined to agree with. I've got family and friends who waited an extra year and they say they find it much easier. But then every child and family is different and you have to do what you feel is best.
I was 34 when I had number 1 and 36 now having just had number 2. The one thing you shouldn't worry about is loving them though 😀 they slot into the family and within a couple of weeks it's like there's always been the 4 of you. There's plenty of love to go around.
Good luck in whatever you decide x
We've got a gap of 2yrs and 1 month between our girls, if I had been younger I think I would have liked to leave it another year, because my 2 year old has found sharing and not whacking her sister quite hard, especially now her sister is mobile and wants everything her sister has. It might have been a bit easier if she'd been a bit older to help with understanding being gentle with her sister. I feel a bit like we're on survival mode at the moment, especially now they can both run in opposite directions. I was just about to turn 40 so time was definitely a factor for our gap decision.
As for loving the 2nd one, I don't think I could even describe adequately the wave of love I had for her after she was born. I think you almost fall in love with them a bit quicker because you know from having the first how precious the time ahead with them is going to be.
Hi NicoJono, it’s tough isn’t it. I’m in much the same boat as ToniaB123 . I’m just pregnant with my second now at 35. My daughter is 2.5 years. I always knew I wanted a second baby, but my husband and I waited until now due to finances. It came down to Nursery fees for us. By the time Baby no2 is born, our eldest will be 3 years old, so we’ll be able get some free nursery hours, rather than paying for 2x full sets of fees x x
you will most definitely love a second child as much as your first
And money comes and goes however much or little you have
If you want another baby go for it
It really is a personal decision and all depends on your circumstances. I have a 4 year gap between my boys. Took some adjustment my the eldest when his younger brother came along but I think this would be the case at any age. I too worried about would I love my second the way I do my first. I knew after having my first I did want another tho. When I had my second, I wondered what I had been worried about. The second one really just slots in, eventually 😁 And I love watching the bond between my two grow. My youngest is now 3 and eldest is 7 and they are the best of friends. They fall out with each other like siblings do but they can't be without each other either.
I don’t think there is ever a right time. I’ve got a 5 year old and a 7 month old, so there is quite a big age gap. When we told my eldest we were having a baby she wasn’t happy at all and just said she wanted a cat! I was terrified what she would be like when the baby arrived, as my due date approached I was in tears with the midwife. I was scared I wouldn’t love the baby as much as my first and I was also worried about how she would feel. But they absolutely adore each other. My babies face lights up when her big sister walks through the door and I do love seeing them together.
I would definitely try and time it so you get help with childcare with your 1st. Childcare is so expensive. I think it’s really helped having my eldest in primary school. I don’t feel so divided between the 2. Also wait until your eldest is out of nappies! Try to save the pennies.
Xx
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