At wits end with 7 month old not sleeping should I sleep train? Any gentle suggestions?

[Cheekymunchkins]

I’m running out of my reserves with my youngest who has stopped sleeping well, from sleeping through the night at 8 weeks he’s gotten progressively worse since he had a cold at 4 months and stopped settling at night, thought it was just a sleep regression, got a bit better then the 6 month sleep regression is running into the seven month. Last night he was difficult to settle from 2am after waking up maybe four times before that but going back to sleep. My eldest just used to feed and go back to sleep so I never needed to sleep train we just go slept and she grew out of it and now sleeps like a log . My new baby however is an absolute darling and so easy except for he just wants to play and party the whole night. I really don’t want to sleep train but I feel like it’s just been getting worse for nearly 4 months now and I’m getting maybe three hours and night and with a toddler catching up in the day is not an option. Does anyone have any advice on this, he’s exclusively bf maybe someone has tried a nighttime bottle which has helped. He’s doing really well with blw and eats a lot, poos well he’s not constipated or anything. Have any sleep training programs been successful for you but not felt too harsh? I know it would break my heart to listen to him crying for me at night but something has to give at this point. Bf does not permit enough caffeine to get through this stage!

[Seb9]

Have you read the no cry sleep solution book? I'm reading it currently and starting to try out some of the ideas on my 9 month old, I'm only just started to read it, but like you I know that for me letting her cry is not going to be an option in sleep training. There's a bit about it in the book of others experience of it and just reading about it nearly had me in tears 😭😭 good luck xx

[Cheekymunchkins in reply to Seb9]

It really is so hard isn’t it. I know that they will come through it eventually but it’s just hard at it’s worst and you know there’s so many other factors in play with their teething and milestones and all it’s hard to make a properly informed decision. Do let us know how you get on!

[QT314]

Hi,

I was thinking about sleep training recently but I really didn't want to and it felt odd that that was the only way. I was looking at 'gentle methods' too. Then recently I found lots of info I had never seen before that state that sleeping is NOT a skill (unlike what we are constantly told) and so it CANNOT be taught. It's a biological function and when you 'train' a baby to sleep what you're are doing is training them to stop calling for you which doesn't mean they are sleeping all night but they might wake up and just not call for you. This doesn't mean you can't do anything for their sleep to improve but it would be about improving the conditions around their sleep. I'm not saying you have to believe this over the theories that sleeping is a skill but to me it makes so much more sense... anyways some if the resources I found around this are the beyond sleep training website and Instagram and evolutionary parenting. With Evolutionary parenting you can book a 15 minute free call to explain your situation and they can advise whether they think you need one of their courses or a consultation etc. I had the call and I've been reading their blog and really like it so far. I have just started their course in infant and toddler sleep (it's an email course plus a 30 min one to one call). I don't know yet whether it'll be helpful but for me learning that sleeping is not something I need to train my baby on and see her cry bc I'm not giving her what she needs have been an amazing relief. Again, this makes a lot of sense to me but other people might disagree.

If you're interested this is the website

evolutionaryparenting.com/

And a video about the email course youtu.be/hmOVHv_z6gA(Not working as expected?)

You can find other videos in YouTube about baby sleep. I haven't seen them yet but they look very interesting.

[Cheekymunchkins in reply to QT314]

Thank you for this, I will do some research I totally agree that it’s not a skill and that it’s so normal for babies to want us when they wake.

[QT314 in reply to Cheekymunchkins]

Hi, I also found this page careitout.com/ (she also has an Instagram account). She has e-courses for less than 20 quid (wish I had found that one earlier!). I don't have any personal experience that any of these resources work yet but hopefully I will at some point. Hope things get easier for you too x

[Lovemylion]

O I feel your pain! My little boy has never been a great sleeper and also exclusively breast fed. He’s nearly one and it was a few days ago I said to my partner....enough is enough....I have to sleep. I always fed him to sleep. He would easily wake up 3 times a night. So I sleep trained him one night where I went in when he cried, didn’t pick him up, stroked him and soothed him for approx 1 min and went back out. (He would still continue to cry but I was there and I was tending to him) I went in and out his room for about an hour in the middle of the night but I just kept reassuring him each time and I gave him his comforter each time that smelt of me and eventually he soothed himself to sleep. I only had to do this one night and now he may wake up once but he’s able to settle himself. He’s also much more awake and happier in the day for having less disturbed sleep I think. It might be the fact that he’s older that it wasn’t too much effort but I had to feel ready to do it too as I couldn’t bear leaving him to cry for long periods of time. A lot of people swear by the “little ones” no cry method. I tried it but it’s all about a strict routine in the day which felt like a lot more effort to me and I like to vary my day. 2 friends swear by it and their little ones sleep through no problems with no tears 🤷🏼‍♀️. It will get better! Good luck! Xx

[Cheekymunchkins in reply to Lovemylion]

I’ve recruited my husband on mornings now, and now the toddler and I had a lie in until 8am! So you win some as you lose others that’s the deal with parenting I guess. I totally agree about the routine and stuff it’s just a pain to follow all that. Just out of interest how long did you leave it between going in? My two share a room so I’m scared to cause a problem for my daughters sleep by having him yell for ages although truth be told it doesn’t usually bother her.

[Lovemylion in reply to Cheekymunchkins]

Ah yes my partner does his fair share of night shifts however it always seemed to be just the boob that would settle him until I tried this. I think if you prepare yourself for a couple of rough nights it will work, but every child is different and I know it’s much harder to be as determined when your tired. I roughly followed the Ferber method 3, 5 then 10 mins but it would maybe be a bit sooner if it was a cry or later if it was more of a winge. And yes regarding the “little ones” method I’m not into military precision routine so it’s not something I would be consistent with. However.....since lockdown it might be an option 🤷🏼‍♀️Xx