Mental health struggles! Not a medical need at all, just need to rant!

[Ncclark1090]

Me again! I am really struggling right now to keep on top of everything. I am on furlough from work which has put me under a huge financial strain. My husband thinks he is exempt from helping around the house because he still goes out to work all day, and will quite often use it against me that he pays the mortgage to keep a roof over my head!! I have a 2 year old and I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. I don't sleep at night, I'm battling never ending housework, I feel so cut off from everyone because of lockdown and my mum passed away 3 weeks a go so I dont even have her anymore to moan to! I spend so much of my time in the day doing housework and laundry, because God forbid that I dont do it! My husband has never been and would never be physically violent but he will moan and nag about coming home to a messy house and it just drowns me with guilt that I can't keep on top of it. I feel guilty because I put my 2 year old to one side to get things done and I feel so very exhausted and heavy from being pregnant! Anyone up to the challenge of making me feel better? 😓

[Lovemylion]

Awwww bless you! I just wanna give u a massive virtual hug! Firstly, I am so so sorry to hear about your mum. That's so difficult....are you seeking/getting any counselling or support for this? Secondly, I am MASSIVELY biting my tongue on your husband. I'm sure he's tired, stressed and had a long day at work...a pandemic is a terrible time for everyone at the moment.....but your hubby needs to give you some god damn slack on the housework! I'll tell him for you 😂 .....what on earth does he expect with a 2 year old and heavily pregnant wife???? Can't he just do a couple of hours on a sat morn? I did NO housework when I was pregnant...mainly because I'd been through multiple IVF rounds and was scared of lifting the kettle in fear something could happen to my rainbow....but that's another story. I'm not pregnant and struggle to keep on top of the housework with 1 bundle of chaos 😂.... We have animals so it's not a top priority and never immaculate.

Suggestions for your wellbeing:-

1) I am ordering you to put your feet up and give yourself plenty of self-care in the evening when your little one is in bed.

2) Date night with hubby, candle, wine (nosecco). It's surprising how me an hubby reconnect with sitting at a table with a candle.

3) zoom call with friends/fam even when u don't feel like it.

4) you time- 30min walk in nature/park without your little one (hubby to babysit at weekend)

Best of luck

Xxx

[Ncclark1090 in reply to Lovemylion]

Thank you!! 🥰 made me feel a lot better! Xxx

[LPLL]

Soooo sorry to hear about your Mum, they’re the best to rant to - sending lots of love!

I love the post from lovemylion!

I hear you on the partner thing and it annoys me soooo much! I think there are a lot of men in that headspace.

On a plus I tend to do the little jobs midweek on an evening when my partner is home and then big cleans on the weekend so he can have time with our son and give me a break from entertaining.

Also definitely take 30-60 mins to yourself when he’s back from work every night, you need it mentally as looking after one child is full time work in itself let alone being pregnant.

Lockdown has been really hard with social meetings etc and I’m not a phone caller person I love to see people face to face but when you need a pick me up your friends.

Hope you feel better with this and as easy as it is said!

Take care

Xx