Hmmmm..... Another step forward, I think 🤔

[Positive2022]

Evening all,

A little update. I'm not sure where best to post at the moment... I am in between having success with fertility treatment and gearing myself up for another 'journey' so have opted for this forum. I hope this is okay. The support on here has helped me so much.

I had another post op check last week... All went well. No more signs of infection and healing well so that was really good news.

But... Still a long way to go in terms of conservative treatment though 😔 Review in 2 months time.

My energy levels have just hit rock bottom. Not sure if there is something medical causing this as I have had a few hic ups along the way or general post op recovery but I feel completely exhausted.

I saw my doctor today. I was given the opportunity to talk and really open up about how low i've been, especially since my emergency gynae appointment where I was told my chances of conceiving naturally is practically zero. I talked. I cried. It helped so much.

I think we came to the conclusion that everything has come to a head (infertility... the rollercoaster fertility journey.... Traumatic birth... Covid.... Surgery.... etc etc) and to then be told I need to start this whole 'journey' again... it's almost been the straw that's broke the camels back. I just need some time for my body to heal, both physically and psychologically.

As a starting point, my doctor is arranging bloods to check my general health and at my request is exploring the option of whether I can access any fertility counselling at the moment.

I am trying to take one step at a time at the moment. It's hard. In the back of my mind, i'm still really worried about my age and whether I will be able to cope with further fertility treatment but at least today has been a start. For me, I need to be able to explore this option before it's 'too late'. At least then if things aren't successful, I will know and not be asking myself the question of 'what if?' Xxx

[Pasaeoco01]

Hey Poppy149! I think there are lots of positives to be taken from your post.

Having the opportunity to talk and get all your feelings out there is a huge step forward. Good for you.

I think whilst your overall goal is to have the option to try fertility treatment there are lots of steps to be taken along the way.

Each step will take you a bit closer to your end goal and although this will take time and patience I can only imagine you’ll be in a much better place to embrace the challenges that come with fertility treatment when it happens.

Hang in there!!! I think you’re doing brilliantly xxx

[Positive2022 in reply to Pasaeoco01]

Thank you so much 😘 I hope you are doing okay too ♥️

[cmbxm]

I’m so glad your op has gone well, it’s not just the physical recovery, but the mental recovery too, you’ll get there eventually, I really hope you can access the counselling, keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you xx

[Positive2022 in reply to cmbxm]

Thank you so much, I hope you're okay too ♥️ it's so nice to be able to talk to people who really 'get it'. No matter how hard I try and talk to friends, I think they find it hard to relate and know what to say as I don't know anyone who has been through a similar 'journey' xxx

[cmbxm in reply to Positive2022]

That’s why I love these forums, I had such a deep trauma and fear of doctors following my first endometriosis surgery, but forums like this made me feel like my pain was valid and that I wasn’t crazy, I also think in a way it’s easier to reach out to strangers for advice as friends and family just don’t get it or have either had it worse or you’re overreacting, and I’m very well, thank you for asking xx

[Positive2022 in reply to cmbxm]

Completely agree and pleased you are doing well. I stumbled across the fertility forum when I hit a really low point and just to be able to talk helped me so much and still does ♥️

[MissSaoPaulo]

Hi hon, just a thought - don't know if it will be feasible, but could you do the fertility treatment as soon as possible and freeze any embryos you hopefully get? Then you could stop feeling so much pressure about leaving it too late re: egg quality but also give yourself as much time as you need before a possible pregnancy.

Hope you're feeling better soon and can access counselling and it helps. It's such a difficult time at the minute, any support you can get is great xxx

[Positive2022 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you so much, that did cross my mind to be honest as a possible option. Unfortunately, my situation is a little complex.... I will need to be re referred to the fertility clinic as I have now been discharged and they won't accept a referral until we have been trying for however many months. It has been impossible to try due to complications with the traumatic birth... Hence surgery. We're hoping to be seen on the NHS as self funding could be tricky for us at the moment. Fingers crossed counselling works out and will be a start, I hope 🤞 take care and hope you are doing okay too ♥️

[JLLWM]

hey,

i’m glad things are moving forward! after my op last year, i constantly was down and no one checked up on me. it was pretty much ‘we took your ovary without consent and you probz can’t have kids, bye’. it took 6 months and for me to have a full breakdown to be diagnosed with anxiety/depression/ptsd.

then finding out i was pregnant after going through all this, i couldnt be happy because i was told it wasnt going to happen. so i just assumed the worst (still do tbh).

talking will help, if its here or to anyone who will listen. i hope things start to look up xxx

[Positive2022]

I'm so sorry you had such a difficult time. How awful for you to be left without the support when you needed it most. Huge congratulations on your pregnancy, such lovely news ♥️

Fertility is such a sensitive topic. I have always been a pirivate person, had a lot of difficulty coming to terms with things and talking about my diagnosis. I tried to cope on my own but failed. I hit rock bottom when going through fertility treatment last time and do not want to end up in the same position, hence seeking out counselling now.

I had very poor postnatal care after my traumatic birth. Massively under supported. I had a large postpartum haemorrhage which left me very unwell and once home, that was it from the professionals. I remember being in floods of tears with the midwife and GP. Never followed up. On going complications hence recent surgery. Changed my GP and have had so much support from my new doctor but then covid hit and boom, all support services shut. However, I requested a face to face appointment for yesterday and to my surprise it was no problem and helped massively.

I think i'm still feeling low about how long it's going to take for post op recovery. But at least it's over and done with now which is a huge step forwards.

I don't know where I would be without the support on here. It's kept going at some of my darkest times. Sending love and BIG hugs xxx