What to tell employer *sensitive *

[Afrohair]

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant although I’m very scared I have endometriosis and had a misscarrige last year I’m now getting messages if I want to go back to work and really I don’t know what to say I’ve already had about 7 month of work in total 5 month for sickness and two for my misscarrige last time I work in retail I’m worried they will be like oh no not again pregnant again and about coming into contact with people it’s only one day a week so I’m thinking yes.but before I know we didn’t have to tell work till so many week but with the virus I’m wondering if they should know

[Padawan20]

Hi, sorry to hear you are so anxious, I can imagine it is a tough situation for you although exciting to be pregnant.

You aren’t obliged to tell your employer about your pregnancy at this stage, but equally they aren’t allowed to discriminate against you or change your job situation for being pregnant if you decide to.

Do you have contact details of a midwife from perhaps before or a friend you can call for advice? Have a look at the Royal Gynaecologist website for advice for pregnant women during this pandemic, it may give you some reassurance and guidance. I think you are still ok to work up until 3rd trimester but double check.

If it were me, I would confide in one person I trust at work, perhaps someone in HR, so they know your situation, can keep it confidential and put in support for you. There may be some other work you could do which avoids contact with people? Just a thought. Hope it helps.

[Afrohair in reply to Padawan20]

Thankyou for your reply I may confide in my supervisor were quite close but she may have a duty then to tell all so I’m not sure x

[Buisquits]

I understand your worries, I'm in a similar situation. I always inform my boss as soon as I know in case something happens. It is confidential and only she knows. Last time I told her as soon i told my husband that we are pregnant (6weeks). Unfortunately we've lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks and I just sent her an email with basic info. She was fine. Also she was able to adjust my work early in the day.

A lot depends on your relationship with your boss.

Good luck x

[Afrohair in reply to Buisquits]

Sorry for your loss and thankyou my manager left not so long back and The old supervisor got promoted to management we are all quite close there but it’s the thought of me saying I’m pregnant for a second time I guess I’m thinking to far into the future and thinking negative but I keep thinking what if same thing happens again and I’m trying to get pregnant again this baby is very much a planned and well wanted baby before they happened to think it was a happy accident I don’t want to divulge in it all I guess I don’t have to but I guess I’m worried about talk x

[Buisquits in reply to Afrohair]

I think my head expects me to get pregnant again soon after the mc. Maybe your bosses think similar? They can't discriminate against you if your pregnant or had mc. It is easy to overthink and worry, especially after bad experiences. I'm considering telling mine that we are trying for a baby again. This way I'm honest and she can have a B plan if that happens, I'm a teacher. Fingers crossed for you.

[Afrohair in reply to Buisquits]

Thankyou I can’t decide what to do because having a baby is such a private thing to begin with x

[roxannacar]

It's up to you if you want to tell them. If you do tell them they will be able to offer you a risk assessment due to covid etc. Although rcog guidelines suggest that pregnant women (under 28w) or not at any increased risk.

[dewmas01]

Hi, sorry to hear you are feeling really worried. I can imagine how difficult this situation is and a lot to think about along with the excitement of being pregnant.

I believe you don't need to tell your employer till 15 weeks before your due date but due to the problems you've previously had it probably is best to tell them as soon as you feel you can depending on what your work situation is.

I am in a bit of a predicament atm with the current covid climate as I'm 8 weeks pregnant (first time) and on the critical vulnerable list. Let's say my employers aren't the best with retaining staff and are pretty ruthless with getting rid of people who "don't serve them any purpose" (aka work like an absolute horse with endless unpaid overtime and don't complain). The attitude towards pregnant employees has been shocking during my 5+ years of employment with them. I am currently working from home with pretty much 90% of my colleagues on furlough (yep working 5 ppls jobs with no thanks or acknowledgement) and I am honestly petrified that they will make me redundant if they find out I am pregnant. I know legally they are unable to do this but I know from experience they will find any little loophole/excuse to get rid of me as I will no longer be able to work "to their standards". I'm hoping that the shielding will be extended for the critically vulnerable so I can try and delay telling them till around the 20 week mark and don't have to be in an office where social distancing will not be adhered too. And also get to a stage where they can't use the current pandemic as an excuse to get rid of me. It's so much to think about and makes me worry every day but I'm trying to take it each day as it comes and think with a rational mind.

I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and hope they treat you fairly xxx

[Afrohair in reply to dewmas01]

So sorry your having issues aswell the thing is I might have to tell them sooner as I’m always sick as a dog when pregnant and need a doctors note was sick 3 month last time but I’m worried I’ve probably used up nearly all my sick days I guess were in a new year now though x

[Afrohair]

Update I have recently spoke to my employer about everything they are going to put something forward as to weather I can stay in furlough thanks for all your comments