How often do you and partner have sex, honestly? Help

[JojoWash]

Hi guys

How often do you and partner have sex in a month ?

How long have you been together?

My partner seems to hound me permanently, makes me feel guilty and he’s moody until he gets it. He doesn’t actually even try to initiate it but will openly huff and puff in bed, tap his fingers and feet to let me know he’s irritated with that I haven’t had sex with him yet. It’s a proper put off and rude! We probably have sex every 3 days and move often when fertile. He’ll buy tight pvc outfits and remind me they are there, I’m not comfortable dressing up since I’ve put on 2 stone.

For example yesterday a pair of pvc sticking arrived in post, he said maybe you’ll just wear them if you don’t feel comfortable in the other things, when we went to bed, after about an hour of laying there with no intimacy or affection and as I was about to fall to sleep he says, don’t fancy putting on them stockings do you? I was like.. no

I mean I just feel pushed into it, I’m expected to cum otherwise he gets a complex but rolling over and landing on me isn’t a turn on.

I’m supposed to initiate it, want it, reveal in his manliness, worship his penis and have a huge orgasm all without warming me up and every day???

So now he’s just sulking and snappy like a small child. Is it just me!

Ps we’ve been together 5.5 years and been trying for baby 12 months having two miscarriages in the way 😞

[destiny121]

Omg how awful... no wonder your not in the mood. We have sex maybe once-twice a week or sometimes it can be longer... we do now have a baby tho after a 4 year fertility struggle so sex is often not in our minds. Have you spoken to him and told him how you feel... us women want some romance and warming up too... it’s not all one sided.... my fiancé wouldn’t be getting any from me with that attitude... perhaps once you tell him how you feel he may change.... 😘😘

[JojoWash in reply to destiny121]

I have said to him before, he denies acting that way and gets angry at me for thinking he was. But he is, he always has acted this way.

[Dreamingofbaby]

Blimey this does not sound healthy or nice for u. Sounds abusive hun n not what u deserve. Not about how often u have sex but when u do u both want it and both feel comfortable with it. If u don’t want or feel like it at times that’s ok and no one should make u feel guilty about this. That not fair. Also it up to u if want to dress up def not feel pressured by this. Sounds like he meeting all of his needs but what about urs.

Me and my partner don’t have sex that often tbh but when we do we both want it and enjoy it.

We were trying for a long time too then had to do go through fertility treatment but we felt like there was no point of adding pressure to ourselves. Look after urself xx

[pinkie93]

I'm sorry but this just screams abuse and gaslighting to me, I have been in a very similar situation and didn't realise just how messed up that man was until I was out. If you have already told him how to turn you on and he's still just pestering you to pleasure him then... I have many things I could say about a man like that, but I won't. Obviously I'm just hearing about this fraction of your relationship, but it's a glaring red flag. Do you have any idea if your partner is a narcissist? I strongly recommend counselling either way.

It really doesn't matter how often others have sex, everyone is different and goes through different phases. My hubby and I have been together for 5 years, at times we've been at it multiple times a day, the month we got pregnant we only had sex twice and with a baby it varies from twice a week to once a month. All depends how we're feeling.

Sorry if this response was a bit strong, it just reminded me of some trauma and please feel free to ignore if you think I'm completely off the mark. I really hope you're able to work this out and find a healthy resolution.

[JojoWash in reply to pinkie93]

No don’t feel bad. Yes he is very damaged. I never know where I am ever in anything. Mostly walking on eggshells. Thank you for your reply ❣️

[LKT1]

Agree with above and It sounds like your needs or wants in bed are not currently compatible. I think the suggestion of counselling for both of you would be a good idea so he can understand your feelings. if you have explained your feelings on dressing up then persisting is not normal or ok and you shouldn’t put up with being made to feel inadequate or guilty in your own home. Me and partner have sex once or twice a month and we are both fine with that. We have been together 11 years. Wishing you best of luck dealing with this x

[MummyMel]

Tell him straight, you dont have an on off switch like he does, you need to feel wanted and loved and you need foreplay and affection. My man went through a phase of just laying it on me and then he'd get the right hump if I was dry. Well what do you expect??? It took a while of telling him but he eventually got it. Now he takes his time on me first and I love every second and now we have it pretty much daily, we may sometimes have one day where we just cuddle but then we'll have it twice the following day haha! Sorting out a good sex life is crucial!!! We are expecting out 4th child, and although getting pregnant isn't difficult for me, I do have a very happy vagina, and now a very healthy relationship. Men just need to be taught these things. One thing I did back in the "sex now" days, I got a vibrator and watched porn and when he walked in and asked what I was doing, I explained that if he isn't going to take the time to please me then I'll have to do it myself, otherwise I'll be dry and not want to have sex and he'll get the hump with me again. Do something to shock him, otherwise things go in one ear and out the other 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[JojoWash]

MummyMel - brilliant!

[Annh17]

That’s awful, I wouldn’t be putting up with that, at all. Before our LG was born, we was having sex once a week, when we was trying for a baby, twice a day for 2 weeks and that’s when I fell pregnant. Now LG is here once 3-4 weeks, when we get into bed, we just fall asleep. Lol.

Since being pregnant and having LG I have gone off sex completely. And when I was pregnant and afterwards it hurt so much x