When I was pregnant I made it clear I didn't want my little girl to be near anyone smoking. My partner's parents both chain smoke in their house. I've always rang before going so they aren't smoking when we get there but are recently the room has been filled with smoke. Today we went to visit my little girls great gran with his mum and his mum was smoking in her flat, I said to my partner we are leaving because of the smoke, which we did. He doesn't see the issues as long as they arent smoking when shes in the room. Its causing me massive anxiety I've not been able to stop thinking about it all day.
Anyone got any advise on asking them to respect my wishes?
I'm at the point where they wont be seeing her if they want to smoke around her they will have to come down to my house. Which is difficult because they dont drive and have a disabled daughter but I have to think about my little girls health
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doris92
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I wouldn't take my child to their house if they smoke, even if they didn't smoke while we were there. I would arrange to meet them somewhere neutral like a park, play centre or coffee shop.
Maybe you could also find some literature to give them on smoking around babies, the risk of SIDS, ear infection, second hand smoke risk etc, if they don't respect your wishes after them, good luck, I'd hate to be in your position x
Not only are their risks as mentioned by seb9, but purely and simply, it stinks & clings to all your clothes! It's tricky because it's their home, but if they want you to visit then they are just going to have to lump it in my opinion. Explain your reasons, and if they don't agree then tell them you are more than happy for them to come to you where they cannot smoke.
I hate it too, my family are all smokers & I hate going round to my mums. Fortunately she comes here more often than not.
Good for you! Your child is dependent on you to protect them from second hand smoke and while it is hard, I think you just need to be firm about your wishes. If they can't respect this, then you are right to insist that they come to you for visits. The suggestion to meet in a neutral location seems like a good one too if that's possible.
It is difficult I'm afraid, but you have to be mama bear whenever someone is jeopardising your child's health. First you need to get your partner on side, have you presented him with all the facts? Then you just need to be frank with the family, tell them exposure to the chemicals in cigarettes is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) risk factor for cot death. Don't make it more palatable by saying SIDS, you need to spell it out to them.
My FIL is a chain smoker and we put rules in place from day one, baby never goes to the in laws house and he can only have contact if he hasn't smoked for at least an hour, he's washed and changed clothes. It might sound ridiculous, but when you understand the risks it really isn't.
I hope your partner will support you, it's so much easier with back up.
This sounds very tough - but you are the mum and people need to respect yours and your daughters wishes . Maybe meeting in a neutral place would be better for you all . Its hard but you need to put your little lady first ( if they really want to see her they will respect your wishes xxxx good luck
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25 weeks 1 day.......... slight rant
New mum with in law that's a heavy smoker
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Advice on how to cope with a partner who has a child from a previous relationship.
