Secondary Infertility

[becci81]

Hi, I am writing to try and find more out about secondary infertility. I had my 1st DS Dec13. He was conceived first month of trying. Last Dec just after his 2nd birthday we decided to start trying for another baby. Six months down the line and no joy. I have recently come across the concept of secondary infertility. There is not a lot of information out there. I am just wondering if anyone has been through this and if so what would the advice be - should I go the see my go? I seem to have a reasonably regular cycle but am struggling to cope with the heartache every month when I get my period.

[bd123]

Hello becci81, sorry to hear about your heartache with secondary infertility. I've been there too. My daughter was also born in dec13 but within 3 months of trying. We then started trying again after she turned 1. I fell pregnant within 3 months but then sadly found out I'd miscarried at the scan. After this, it took us over a year, by which time I'd turned 36 so we went to the GP. We started having all the investigations they do. I finally fell pregnant naturally when we gave up, a year after the miscarriage. I'm now 20 weeks so there is hope. I don't know how old you are but its worth visiting your GP. They will give you advice on the next steps. Unfortunately, stress is your worst enemy when trying to conceive but I know how hard it is to relax when you so desperately want your second child. Your body has done it before so your chances are good xxx

[becci81 in reply to bd123]

Hi thanks for the reply. I am 34(will be 35 at the end of Sept). Strangely my periods seem more regular since my pregnancy (between 28 and 34days) they we regularly over 35 days when I was younger! My DH and I have talked about going to the docs but I just fear I will be told to go away and keep trying. My biggest upset at the moment seems to be that I am surrounded by pregnant women ( two at work 1 of my DS friends mum plus went to a birthday party yesterday. 2 pregnant, 2 with small babies) We will keep trying - not sure I will ever be able to give up. I feel relaxed when we are trying it is the week of waiting and then getting my period that drives me insane at the moment.

[bd123 in reply to becci81]

The GP may well tell you just to keep trying, especially since you've got your age on your side but they may also start some investigations, just so you feel like you're taking some some of control. My periods became very regular after my miscarriage so it felt so strange that nothing was happening. The truth is that there's only a small chance of getting pregnant every month so it's usually over the space of one year (6 months if aged over 35 years) that the doctors start to 'worry'. It's terribly difficult seeing other pregnant ladies. I know your pain. You never know how long it took them to conceive or what their journey was as no one really talks about it. But hang in there, it will happen for you xxx

[becci81]

Thank you xx

[Marmom]

Sorry to hear it's not working out. For us our first was also conceived during the first month, but the second took a bit longer ~6 months. I was also feeling very disappointed each month, and after around 3 months I started using an ovulation test each month, and we made sure to try on the right days. I think they are expensive, but for us it was worth it. Maybe you are already using an ovulation test, but if not maybe it could help? For me, even though my periods were regular, my ovulation was not exactly the days I was calculating it would happen. Hope this helps.

[becci81]

Hi Thanks for you reply. We have been using opk tests for the last few months and we have had positive results but I am just aware that a positive result still doesn't mean I have O.

I recently heard about secondary infertility and I think it just freaked me out a bit. I just thought we were timing things badly but to think I could have a real issue is quite stressful. My friends all seem to have had second children easier than the first!

[becci81]

Thank you for your reply. Hearing others stories does help. We have not been ruled by opk tests but it has reassured me that things at least seem to be ok.

We will just keep trying! Xxx

[LottyB]

Hi, it took us just over a year to get pregnant. With our first (and probably only, as I'm finding it hard working and being a mummy, plus I'm too tired for sex now! Haha.) And I got pregnant two days after my 'fertile' days. I know as it was the only day we'd tried as my boyfriend was working a lot at the time. As the lovely ladies have said you can't rush it. I booked a holiday to try and cheer myself up when we'd been trying 8 months, 4 months later when we went away I was 13 weeks pregnant. 😊

Enjoy time with your DS, I'm sure it will happen when you least expect it to. Xx