complicated

[mum2be2601]

Hello,

I found out last week that I was pregnant with my first child at the age of 18. My partner and I are over the moon but are worried about coping with a baby as well as financially. I want this baby more than anything but my only worry is telling my family. I lost my mum when I was 12 and this would be her first grandchild which makes it even more emotion. My biggest worry is telling my aunt and uncle who are judgemental people at the best of times. what is the best way to tell my family that I am pregnant and that we are keeping the baby?

Thank you!!

[Daddo]

You are parents now, or soon to be - what judgmental people say will be far less powerful once that little person enters your lives. It will be difficult, you will need to push your endurance beyond what you ever knew you had in you, but you can do it. Keep calm. Don't spend any money you don't have to (save for emergencies). Thank God you live in England and not the USA.

My wife and I had our first at age forty, which was easier, but still difficult. I've written a book about my experience, and I am willing to send you a free eBook copy if you like, it might help with some tips and encouragement.

If you go to SpenceWriting.com and go to the contact page, you will find a place to email. The title is "A Stay at Home Dad: Leaving Oxford to spend my time with a one year old"

Best of luck, to both of you - my daughter is the best thing ever to have happened to me.

[NCTcharity]

Hi there, thanks for your message. We know that pregnancy, birth and becoming a parent are times that come with many questions and challenges. Our Enquiries team will be able to get one of our qualified practitioners to get in touch with you. Give us a call next week on 0300 330 0700 and choose option 3. You can find out about our opening times over the festive holiday here: nct.org.uk/contact-us

[leamice]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Focus on the positives when you are telling the exciting news that they will be becoming great aunt and uncle, show how excited and happy you both are and hopefully they will be able to share in the excitement. This time last year I was having the conversation with my aunt and uncle, though I'm 28, my mum has also passed and I was worried to tell them as my partner and I were unmarried then. They were over the moon for us. I do hope it goes ok for you too xxx

[amazed]

Hi there, I had my eldest son when I was 18, he's now 15 and my third son is due in April. Once the family know then they just have to get used to it I'm afraid. My Dad was particularly negative but at 8 months pregnant when he told me to give the baby up for adoption I told him to stop because this child was his first Grandson and sure enough, he loves him very much. We're nothing if not headstrong at 18 and if you're sure about your decision then you will be a great Mum and in many ways you and your child will grow up together. It's not easy but it is the most rewarding job you could ever do!

[jlc0202]

Hi, My sister fell pregnant at 18 and my family and I were quite upset. She seemed so young and had so much ahead of her a new job etc. She was adamant she was keeping the baby. He is now 19 months and we wouldn't change him for the world. I think the important thing is to be realistic. From the start my sister knew it would be a struggle both financially and emotionally but and although she's had her ups and downs she is a wonderful mum. You will be able to do it, don't let people knock you down.

[Shiv89]

Hi there, just wanted to say that I fell pregnant with my first daughter at 18.. I was attending College and working weekends. It wasn't a planned pregnancy and we had only been together a year, I was also living with my parents. All I can say is I was absolutely dreading telling my parents, I thought they would be so disappointed in me and my Dad wanted me to go to University etc.. To my surprise they were so supportive it was surreal! I also cried my eyes out when telling my partners Mum because I thought she would hate me and in return I got the biggest hug ever and she told me not to worry about anything.

I never thought I would be a young Mum but things do happen for a reason, I carried on living between my partners parents house and my parents for nearly 2 years (rented a property in between for 6 months) and we saved for a deposit for a house. Got a mortgage at the age of 21 and now at 25 I have 2 beautiful daughters age 6 and 3 and am expecting again :). Things have a habit of working out and they will because you want them to. And chances are you are both so happy and in your own bubble that you won't give a monkeys if people do have a negative view on the situation.

Not only that you are an adult and can make your own decisions, you just need to express that to your family and reassure them that it is what you want.