TTC after miscarriage

[Sarbear95]

Hi girls 👋🏻 I’m curious if anyone has a story similar to mine and can give me some advice. I got pregnant with my first baby in sept 2020 but had a missed miscarriage the 1st Dec 2020. I’m 26 and my fiancé is 31 and we’re both healthy. I ovulate every month and have regular enough periods. 5th cycle/ 6th month TTC since the miscarriage and I’m beginning to get worried now. My baby was due 3rd of July and I thought sure I’d be pregnant before that dreaded date came around just because I’d feel it would hurt less knowing that we’ve been blessed with another baby (not forgetting the one we lost ). But no luck and all doctors/nurses telling me I’m young and to keep trying but I’m just panicking now at this point.

Would love to hear some peoples stories on this

💕💕💕💕

[Pasaeoco01]

Hey there, I totally empathise with you. I found TTC really stressful which probably didn’t help!I fell pregnant the first time after about 4 months of trying but had a missed miscarriage identified at 12 weeks.

After that it took 18 months for me to conceive the second time. I finally fell pregnant when I ‘gave up’ trying! I also list about 5lbs which although I wasn’t overweight probably helped. I put all my time and energy into the gym and totally gave up thinking about TTC. I had a healthy pregnancy and had a son.

My third pregnancy I conceived after about 6 months of trying and again had a healthy pregnancy and a second son.

I was 34 when my first was born and 37 with my second.

I believe that on average it can take a healthy individual up to 12 months to conceive and although it’s hard the best thing is to try and focus on something else. Good luck and try not to worry x

[Sarbear95 in reply to Pasaeoco01]

Hiya, I am so sorry you had to go through losses too it really is so heartbreaking 💔 I’m glad to hear you have two beautiful sons and it gives me so much hope. Thank you so much for replying you have no idea how much you’ve helped me xx

[GemX81]

I'm so sorry for your loss and I completely understand the stress and worry of TTC after a miscarriage. We TTC for 19 months before getting pregnant but unfortunately I lost my baby at 6 weeks. It then took us another 11 months before conceiving again but unfortunately we lost that baby too. Then after another 7 months TTC I became pregnant and 9 months later gave birth to my gorgeous first rainbow. 2 years after that we decided to try for baby number 2. We caught straight away but unfortunately lost that baby. I took a bit of time out but when we did try again it took 5 months and then I became pregnant with my second rainbow baby. It took us a different amount of time each time we TTC. Be kind to yourself and don't be too hard on yourself. My first due date is my birthday. We decided to go away that year and I on purpose planned a special day. Even now I still think of the fact I could have a near 8 year old. But the way I look at it now if I hadn't been through those losses I wouldn't have my two gorgeous boys and I wouldn't swap anything. I hope you get your rainbow soon. At the moment the chances are your previous loss was bad luck and there is no reason you won't have a baby in your arms soon. Good luck!

[Sarbear95 in reply to GemX81]

Hiya, i am so sorry you had to go through losses too. I really had no idea just how common it is and I was definitely not prepared for how heartbreaking it is either. I am so glad to her you have two healthy beautiful sons what a blessing. Thank you so much for your reply. I really do hope it was just bad luck and I will keep posting. Thanks again xxx

[Bigblueskies]

I’m sorry you suffered a loss, I can understand why you feel anxious about TTC after that and worrying about your original due date coming around soon.

I have lost two pregnancies to miscarriage. Both times we conceived very soon after beginning to try. After the first loss it took us 12 months to conceive again and I found those 12 months extremely stressful. Eventually I decided we needed a break and to feel a sense of control again. I booked an exciting holiday and unexpectedly got pregnant that month just before going on our exciting holiday which we then had to cancel. We had a healthy baby and a straight forward pregnancy but the worry about the loss never really left me.

The second time we TTC again I got pregnant soon after with twins and lost them both with a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. It was harder this time because the anxiety of the previous loss came back and it’s also so much harder to go through it during the lockdowns and hospital restrictions. I had to go to all the ultrasounds alone. So I totally empathise how much more it affects women now going through a loss.

I got pregnant a few months later, again just when we decided we will stop TTC and maybe try IVF from the month after. Seeing the positive pregnancy test was a surprise and I couldn’t believe it happened to me twice to get pregnant just as I stopped worrying about it.

There’s nothing scientific about not worrying and getting pregnant, in fact it could be a complete coincidence, and I found it very frustrating when people told me to relax and keep trying. But i know from experience that failing to get pregnant each month did affect my well-being significantly.

Unfortunately pregnancy loss is more common than we think before we start trying to conceive. I wish I understood that better before my first pregnancy loss. It often means nothing and we go on to have beautiful babies soon after.

It’s hard enough having the worry of trying to get pregnant and the impact from your loss. It doesn’t help to set yourself an expectation to be pregnant by a certain time, that only adds to the pressure.

Please do consider talking to someone about your feelings, I find it shocking that we are expected to bear these losses in private with no counselling or continuous support.

Good luck and best wishes for a happy ending! Xx

[Sarbear95 in reply to Bigblueskies]

Hi there, I am so sorry about the loss of your babies it truly is the most devastating thing to go through. I really do need to try and relax it’s so hard when it’s something you want so bad but I will try my best this month. Also started acupuncture so hope that helps. Thank you so much for your reply xx

[Cutiepie90]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not really easy when trying to conceive. I was 13wks pregnant when I had a miscarriage last month. The whole experience was so painful. My EDD was December 1st and I was so happy that the baby will be the perfect gift for my 1 year marriage anniversary that is December 19th. Although my family, mother in law and husband were there for me, I still feel the loss at times. Last Sunday, five babies were dedicated in my church. My thought quickly went to my own lost baby . But I had to be strong because I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and my healthy babies are on their way. I just had my first period after the MC, going to try again this June. I pray it's positive. My dear just free your mind from it. Think of things that are positive. Stress have a way of affecting fertility. God will soon bless us with our bundles of joy.

[Sarbear95 in reply to Cutiepie90]

Hello, I am very sorry to hear of your loss, it’s so tough 💔 best of luck trying this month, I’ll be trying again too. I pray this month will be the month for our rainbows 🌈 thank you so much for your reply and best of luck to you xxx

[HelloSW]

Hi there, I suffered a MM at 9 weeks and found out I was pregnant again 2 weeks b4 the due date. After the MM I really wanted another baby and I tracked my ovulation and found I was ovulating earlier than expected so we TTC around that time, took me 4-5 months of trying. I hope it all works out for you xxx

[Hidden]

I’ve had 3 mmc at 12w in a row it took us 4 mth originally then 5 mth then 3 mths to conceive at 37-38 then I had 2 chemicals which took 11 mths then 3 mths. I turned 40 and sort of gave up I had lost 3 stone and got fitter and had got myself in an emotionally better place as ttc after multiple mc is so hard. I got pregnant again after 6 mths and now have a 2w old boy. Took us 4 years since I came off birth control to have my baby.