Miscarried in May, now around 6 weeks pregnant again and run down with anxiety.

[RachelM1994]

I found out just 3 weeks after miscarrying that I'm pregnant again. That was over a month ago and now I'm around 6/7 weeks pregnant, but dealing with both morning sickness and anxiety (most likely from the fact I miscarried at this point before). I'm finding it hard to be happy when I don't fully believe that this pregnancy will last either. My anxiety has got to the point where I often find myself dizzy because I'm having to gasp for breath. I'm scared that it could also potentially harm the baby because of the massive amount of stress. Is anyone going through the same or similar thing? Is it likely that people who miscarry go on to miscarry again?

[babesinbrum]

Hi RachelM,

I'd firstly like to congratulate you on your pregnancy & even though ive been fortunate enough to not to have a miscarriage i know many women (including friends) which have gone on to have full term successful pregnancies after miscarriages.

My initial thoughts are please try not to overthink what has sadly happend in the past & think of all the positive things you could participate in during your pregnancy like Yoga or etc....

xx

[RachelM1994]

Thankyou for replying, I find it's often easy to feel like you're going through something that nobody else could ever go through, even though many women do all the time. I try to focus on all the good things, but then remember that I shouldn't plan too far ahead or get too attached as it all could be gone again so soon. I'm just holding on to the little bit of hope I have. Thankyou again xx

[TammyA1819]

I know exactly how you feel in december i had a missed miscarriage and an now currently 12 weeks 2 days pregnant after trying since january wheb infirst found out i was like this is going to go wron again the baby will die and was like that for a while even after havig a few early scans and seeing the heartbeat several times even now i wont allow myself to believe everythif will be okay at the 12 week scan on tuesday because if i do and something is wrong i will be devastated but i am hoping that the sickness i have suffered since week 6 and the fact i havent had any bleeding means my hormones are doing the right thing and mean the pregnancy has stuck. Can u not ask to be referred to your local early pregnancy unit for reassurance?? I hope all goes well for you this time xxxx P.S sorry for the long post xxx

[SSKhan]

I can relate to your feelings. I have suffered 2 missed miscarriages and during my current pregnancy the early pregnancy kept a close eye on me until I go through my 12 week scan. Keep the faith , don't stress , ask your GP to refer you for an early scan for assurance.

[Jellystar81]

Agreed, keep the faith is the best thing you can do and just take each day as it comes. I had a MM last October and am now 29 weeks into my pregnancy.

You just have to do what you can to get through each stage and I've got to say, the further on you get, the more positive you feel. My mum put it very well, having a MM steals your 'innocence' and I have said it puts you on the back foot, i.e. caution at each point.

You do sound like you're having anxiety issues though (I had them before I even got pregnant) and what I would say is that, if this pregnancy is 'strong', then the process is surprisingly resilient!

Early in my current pregnancy I was feeling anxious, same as you and I knew I had to just get through one week at a time. Get your booking in appointment arranged and take each milestone one at a time - if you're 7 weeks, you've only got about 3 weeks before booking in anyway.

You must just trust the process and the only way I could calm 'monkey mind' is to say to myself "I am doing everything I can, what will be will be". Anxiety often comes to those who are quite organised souls but the fact of the matter is, you cannot control everything - that's certainly where my anxieties arise and it is where you need to give yourself a gentle word of reassurance. This is out of your control - you are doing everything you possibly can.

Because of my MM I ended up requesting to go to an early pregnancy scan at week 10, which was difficult to do but very reassuring (lots of tears when she played me the heartbeat). 12 week scan thankfully passed ok too.

At week 13 (just after the crucial point of getting past the 12 week scan) I was made redundant which gave me a massive emotional knock and baby seems to have not cared about that and plodded on through.

I have had sweats and pacing about going to all of my scans, even at 20 weeks when I had started to get occasional teeny tiny kicks. But thankfully, all has been very average and ok so far. In fact, baby seems to be a clever bunny and kicks me whenever unhelpful thoughts creep their way back in!

Some things we've done this time to keep 'sane' and for reassurance include; ask as many questions as you can/want, even ones that you 'think' may be silly, when you see the midwives - I'd put the ones I've asked on here but I don't want to give you any ideas! Write them all down and just ask them. Explain why you're nervous and my experience is that they will be extremely understanding.

At my scans, I asked for the monitors that face you to be turned off prior to the scan and then they can be turned back on as soon as the radiographer tells you all is ok.

At each of my midwife appointments, from around week 17/18, they have used a little ultrasound audio scanner so you can check in on the heartbeat - which is another very reassuring thing.

Once you can feel kicks and movements it is a lot more reassuring too. (These can start as early as wk 18, but can be as late as wk24 - it can depend a lot on where your placenta is attached and where baby is facing, as to how soon you can feel them...ask the midwives for more info.)

I've let my husband look up what should be happening each week via a trusted website (e.g. NHS, NCT) and then avoided the rest because there is so much information out there, you can get giddy and in a muddle very quickly. For example thinking "I haven't got all the symptoms they've listed! There must be something wrong!" doesn't help anyone - so if you have someone understanding and logical close to hand, get them to check things up for you.

Just trust the process - if it is meant to happen, it will. Your intuition, which I know is difficult to tap into when you're feeling worried, should be trusted - you will just know.

Remember the Chinese proverb: fall down seven times, stand up eight...or to put it another way, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Big hugs x

[mummabearJo]

Oh bless you x i miscarried at 11 weeks apparently baby stopped growing at 7 i got pregnant again 3 months later and was sick with worry every day, i suffer from anxiety anyway so this was unbearable, you can ask for a reassurance scan before your 12 week scan if your nervous, that's what i did and got one at 8 weeks, i then paid for a private scan and had the nhs scan and then paid for another private scan! mad i know but i was that sick with worry, i relaxed a little when i got to 18 weeks and felt it moving around and what do you know i gave birth to a healthy little boy 2 weeks over due im pregnant again and now 36wks and still did the whole extra scan things for my peace of mind, still nervous as things can still go wrong but it does go away a little when you start to feel baby move it really does x

Sickness is a good sign just remember that, i hope it all goes well for you and don't feel silly to ask for a reassurance scan, given you have had a miscarriage they will be sympathetic to why you need one x

[Highlandlass22]

We have had a hell of a time over the last few years and this time i started bleeding at 6 weeks. We had the blood tests and the results were misread and we were told that the likely hood was that we were miscarrying until the mistake was discovered and we were referred to the early pregnancy unit for a scan but we had to wait four days over the weekend. The scan was amazing and all was well until that night when I bled again and continued to do so until twenty weeks, on and off. The whole period was very stressful as was the rest of the pregnancy for other reasons. We now have a four week old daughter who is very settled and happy and non the worse for the stress of the early months. So try to relax, and take each day as it comes.

[Curlyk250]

Right there with you Hun. I miscarried in Apr ( which was my 2nd), and now am just approaching 6 weeks. My EPA won't even look at you before 7 weeks so just got to hang on. I am terrified but hopeful.

I'm wrapping myself in cotton wool a little actually. I'm a fitness instructor and have got others to cover all my classes for next few weeks, and am just generally taking it easy for my own peace of mind, even though everyone says " it won't be you and it won't be exercise" ( should all go well I will probably become the size of a small whale due to my lack of activity)