Terrible twos! Help! Hi ladies, looking for some assistance! I have a 26 month old. From a much younger age she has shown signs of being ...

[Queenie89]

very stubborn. If she does not want to do something then it is a battle of the wills for her to do it. She is generally well behaved and we are generally strict with her. She has a good vocabulary. So much so, if she passes you and bumps into you she will respond with "oops sorry".

However, if she has been bad, she is put on the naughty step for 2 minutes and it is explained to her why she is on the step. Once taking her off the step, again it is re iterated to her what she has done and that she should say sorry. You tell her to say sorry for ..... She then starts screaming at you and waving her hands in your face in protest. She point blank refuses to apologise.

On average it can take minimum 2 hours for her to finally say sorry. I realise she is in this terror twos stage but this has been ongoing from a younger age. In the process she is not allowed to watch tv or play until she apologises. If you approach her for an apology she also starts launching herself backwards onto the floor and cries and kicks her legs (usual tantrum stuff you know).

Does anyone else have a stubborn little girl? Im also now 36 weeks pregnant and not keeping well at all. Have no family and husband works away. This battle of the wills has been making me ill as I refuse to give in to her as she has then "won" and I know next time it will just be harder.

I get to the point where i get an excruciating pain in the side of my bump and have to hunch over as its like a painful stitch when she starts fighting me.

Any advice much appreciated x

[Cheekymonkey85]

Oh gosh I've got all this to come haven't i! 2 is a very tricky age, they can have the vocabulary, but not necessarily the understanding. Perhaps too much emphasis is placed on saying the word sorry? Maybe a different approach that doesn't put too much pressure on her, such as after explaining why she is on time out you could say- now give mummy a cuddle to say sorry. Then maybe you could progress to a verbal sorry as she gets a little older.

Hope that comes across ok & makes sense. I have a background in child care, but have to admit it's very different to having your own- children behave very different in someone else's care lol Must be very difficult dealing with tantrums at such a late stage in your pregnancy too xx

[Queenie89 in reply to Cheekymonkey85]

Hi cheekymonkey. The irony in your screen name as she is my "cheeky monkey" lol. Yeah I think she is possibly struggling with relating the word sorry for an actual apology.

She certainly has picked up "oh sorry" when she bumps into someone from us. I am not surprised that can't grasp that its also to be said when she has misbehaved. Asking for the cuddle and relating that to the sorry for an apology is a fab idea.

I think we both hit the point of exhaustion and and get cranky so refuse to do what is asked! She definitely becomes dismissive a lot quicker! Very stubborn little girl haha!

I appreciate the advice and see how that goes. The stress cannot be good for either of us haha!xx

[Cheekymonkey85 in reply to Queenie89]

Haha my name relates to my childminding business, dealt with my fair share of cheeky monkeys- but never my own lol

Really glad that helped your doing a fab job & sounds like you have one smart little girl. Hope it works & you can both enjoy these last few weeks before chaos descends again xx good luck xx

[Queenie89 in reply to Cheekymonkey85]

Ah thats fab hun :). Im pretty sure you have some good preparation for whats to come though. Yeah, shes not daft that is for sure haha. Hope so too. Will try the new approach (which I think will be more succesful). Wishing u luck too hun xxx

[2princes1princess]

Oh dear, its all good fun isnt it! She is still only very young and by sounds of it is very strong minded/willed-great attributes when shes older! I do think you are doing the right thing, its hard to know if you are doing the right thing. Hopefully as she gets older the easier it will be to get the sorry out of her. Sorry really is the hardest word to say! Just remember she still is young. Good luck! Xx

[Queenie89 in reply to 2princes1princess]

Hi 2princes1princess, fun is definitely the nice way to put it haha! It is an attribute I hope she keeps when it comes to peer pressure. Her father is very stubborn, as am I. But I know when it is getting no where so compromise. I shall have my hands full with this one for sure. Another girl on the way, it is going to be one heck of a party!

I will try a different approach for her, to progress with her understanding. She does have really good understanding as I speak to her as though she is an adult (opposed to speaking to her in a babyish way). I simply put her refusing to do it because she was so stubborn. It is a bit of a shock when I see my friends little boy instantly apologising before he goes on the step. I suppose that could be put down to being "trained" to saying that when his parents tone changes.

At times like this, I really question if I am doing more bad than good. So it is comforting to know I am not getting the bad book of patenting thrown at me haha. Xx

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My lg is 25 months, number 2 arrived 3 weeks ago. Generally my lg is wonderful but sometimes she hits other children and won't say sorry, but when she hits my husband or I she usually does. I think I miss the other child doing something to her so she doesn't see why she should apologise even though we explain to her why she should, whereas when she hits us it's usually because she's got over excited. I ended up ignoring her and her behaviour and paying attention to the child she hit, giving them a hug if I knew them well and chatting to them. She seems to have stopped hitting other children...

Be kind to yourself and look after your unborn child too. If you've got any family that can come and stay a few days in the weeks before number 2 is born, ask them. Send your daughter to play with friends, let them give her some attention while you have a rest.

[Viclet_terrier]

Hi, I have two boys eldest turns 4 in a couple of weeks and a 7 month old. One piece of advice I was given that works brilliantly was instead of saying go and put your shoes on and having the tantrum about it is to give a warning. In two minutes I would like you to out your shoes on. How long you say doesn't really matter as they have no concept but it gives them a chance to grasp and understand what you want them to do beforehand. Then say ok now we are going to put our shoes on. Same with apologies. Talk to her about behaviour and then say in two minutes I would like you to apologise. Works brilliantly for my eldest who is a defiant little so and so if not walk away and totally ignore her. When she doesn't get your attention she will quickly apologise to gain it back. Hope that helps. X