Sad news I lost my baby at 19 wks+4 late on Tues

[Chipper]

Hi all, I've not been on here for a while as I was quite stressed with work & gearing up for a holiday. I felt like I had trapped wind pains since Saturday & then I felt quite peaky on Monday. Mon night the pains changed to cramping so my husband drove me to hospital. Just after midnight I lost the baby. I had to be taken to theatre as the placenta wasn't coming away & I lost a litre of blood in the process. I'm still in hospital & hoping they will discharge me today. The emotional side hasn't hit me yet as I'm still trying to cope with the physical pain. The nurses said that will come later. I've received amazing care, the nurses have been very caring, attentive & respectful. Now it's just a matter of taking one day at a time.

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss...bless you, sending hugs your way xxxx

[hols_13]

Sorry to hear your sad news.

I hope you recover well and take each day as it comes.

Sending big hugs xXx

[laurah123]

so so sorry to hear about your loss. it seems very unfair. i really hope you recover well and send you all my love. xx

[k44tew]

I'm so sorry huni, that's so sad. Awful news. Take good care of yourself and allow yourself to be looked after. Big hugs xxxxxx

[cheekymonkey3791]

I am so very very sorry to hear of your loss, despite having previous miscarriages myself I cannot comprehend how you must be feeling physically and mentally. I hope that you are discharged from hospital today and that you begin to grieve in the privacy of your home. Thinking of you at this most difficult time XXX

[Neska]

I am so sorry hun about your loss.cant imagine what you must feel.i hope you get loads of support and care.thinking of you xxx

[Megzey]

that is so sad. Will there ever be an answer why they think you mc? I don't get why life has to be so cruel.

[2princes1princess]

So very sorry to hear your sad news. I lost my first little girl at 20weeks and it does hit you after a couple days but with lots of love and support you and your husband will get through this. Take care and thinking of you and yr family. Much love xx

[gigglysheep]

really sorry to hear of your news, your feelings are beyond our comprehension I'm sure, I hope u get all the support and care u need at this difficult time. Take good care of yourself xx

[Chipper]

Thanks for your support everyone. Just realised I got my days mixed up, my brain is addled! I've got a friend who lost her baby at 22 weeks, so I know there is someone who understands. I'm sitting up now which is major progress,it's difficult to stand up straight. I burst into tears earlier, it just came out of nowhere. I guess I've got more of that to come. Xx

[Allyemo1985]

Un-imaginable what you are going through right now. There are no words that will come only tears for someone I've never met. Thinking of you and your husband and family at this sad time. xxx

[Waldingone]

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I do hope you make a speedy physical recovery and that the emotional scars will heal over time. x

[dinkydoona]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I miscarried my baby last week at only 9 weeks and the emotional pain I am in is unbearable, I cannot imagine your pain at losing your baby at 19 weeks. Sending you big hugs xxx

[Hidden]

Chipper, this is devastating news and i am truly gutted for you and your family. You're all in my thoughts at this time, and i wish you all the best for the future and beyond, whatever bundle of joy that may bring you. All the best xx

[ashy2005]

So sorry to hear this I lost my little girl at 17 weeks.. its just devastating stay strong and look after yourself. xoxo

[Chipper]

I'm back home now & have been signed off work for 2 weeks. Thanks for all your kind words, it means a lot. I hope those of you who've lost babies find the strength to make it through. Xx

[DrFluffy in reply to Chipper]

Remember, there is a lot of help and support out there, when you are ready to use it. Don't try to drag yourself through this nightmare on your own. While it's true that most people won't have the first idea what you are going through, they can still be a support.

Hugs hugs and so sad to read your news. Xx

[Chipper in reply to DrFluffy]

Thanks Dr Fluffy. They gave me the contact details of a bereavement midwife that I can approach for counselling. It's good to know that there is help out there. As I'm struggling with the physical side think it maybe a while for emotional side to hit me. That's what I fear the most because it's not something I'm going to be able to control. Think I might have to accept that I might burst into tears at random times. Xx

[lottiesmum]

So sorry to hear this, if 2 weeks isnt enough you must get signed off for longer, take care and allow yourself the time to heal, emotionally as well as physically, and remember you will get there. xx

[Envgirl]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I cannot imagine what you are going through. You sound as though you have a strong support network, which I hopes helps a little. I echo lottiesmum, you must take longer if you need it and it may be worth talking to your HR department to see if they offer any sort of counselling service. My company give you 10 free counselling sessions for any type of need, which colleagues have used in confidence and found beneficial. My thoughts are with you and your husband, once again so sorry to hear your sad news.

[Chipper in reply to Envgirl]

That's good to know, think they do offer something. My boss is very good at letting people work at home too. My friends at work were signed off work for longer than 2 weeks so maybe I'll see how I go. My boss is very understanding & had to manage a lot of people who've miscarried. So I've got that on my side too. Xx

[blackmadona]

so sorry dear, I know how it feels. God will console you with another baby that will be yours soonest just believe and trust in him. There is nothing too hard for him to do,he is faithful.

[Hidden in reply to blackmadona]

You are so right in saying that God will console her, I had those experiences before those are familiar route for me in life, I have about 7 miscarriages and the last one was last November with twins and I was the exact weeks pregnant as she was. I had urinary tract infection that didn't picked up early enough so I could start antibiotic, that's NHS for us, but I end up with preterm labour and my water broke early.

I started developing infection and I lost them both, the doctors and nurses were brilliant but I felt a divine intervention that comforts my heart that I cannot explain as to how I felt, while my friends were all crying and my partner , I was just smiling , I felt no emotional pain no worries no stress and no regrets.

People may wonder why I am smiling but when God intervene in our situations He wipes away all tears and sorrows and replace it joy and happiness. Now I am 8 week pregnant and am on bed rest because I am bleeding, so my heart in my mouth because I am too too worried because of my pass history. Nature has been so cruel to me that I don't know how I am surviving, I don't have any kids so it's not an easy journey, but I do understand what's going through her mind now, but she will get over it but will never forget, time is a healer. I have gotten over mind before I even left the hospital, when I got home I felt this sense of peace over me, I was just singing and thanking God for His divine intervention. Hadn't it been for that I would have been on a psychiatric ward.

[dinkydoona]

Sorry to hear that you are bleeding monika15, I have everything crossed for you. I appreciated the post that you did for me recently during my miscarriage which has really helped me and I just feel so emotional to read your post above, please keep us updated on your progress. God is with you hunnie xx

[Gersende]

Dear Chipper and Monika,

My heart is with you and I am so sorry for so much pain you have been through. My husband and I had three miscarriages too. My first one was extremely 'violent' and I must certainly say that I found the pain as physically tough as it was psychologicaly. It took me 6 mths to be pregnant again after our first miscarriage and the fear to lose baby hunted me until the delivery. ...Is baby normal? Has it got everything? Two arms? Twolegs? Ten fingers, ten toes?... The eternal question of ' where is our lost 'baby now?' . ' where has baby's soul gone now? Why would God give and then take away again? But think of all these children still born or the one who die of cot death oragainthelittle ones who come inthe world very ill and leave their parents in such a young age still.... We have no answer to that but can certainly learn from it. Being more loving, more compassionate, listening more and being more respectful to what is given to us. I like to believe that these children have a specific path, even the tiny twiny ones that we miscarrying. It isn't about you not being a good mummy enough. It is about being fully here and fully 'aware'. Again, as we say time is a healer.

[Hidden]

Thanks guys, I am here to give you an update of my scan I did yesterday, LOL, I was so so worried to even get dress to go and have the scan done, I almost change my mind because I hardly have nay sleep the night before. I pluck the courage up get in my car and take myself their while my partner is at work in the background waiting for the news, as I parked up and got out I went straight in and they were there waiting for me to turn up. My world has literally stop spinning, I was just floating , my mind was in a total mess.

The stenographer ask me how am I feeling, I told her It's a feelings that cannot be explained, I lie on the bed and she started pocking around while my heart just stop beating but my ears was fixate on hearing what's wrong, then with a sigh of relief she turn the monitor to me and said YES there's the heart beating away, she was so excited you would have thought it was she who is pregnant. LOL, My reply was no you are lying, she said look at it for yourself and I could see it flickering away, OMG,

She scan to see it there's any bleeding or clot left back but it was nice and smooth, cervix is closed, measurements are what they were expected it to be, now I am as happy as happy can be, on my way back home I was back down to earth and back to normal again, now I am still on bed rest and I don't intend to leave my bed for the next 6-7 months, it's pretty hard because I am always working all my life but in order to bring my little ones here I just have to take precautionary measures but all in all it was good news.

As iv'e said in my previous post that I have never heard of subchronic hematoma before where clot form around the placenta, sometimes it reabsorbed in the body while sometimes you pass the clot out, which I did, hence there's no sign of bleeding or clots, but Iv'e heard that sometimes it can present itself again so I will looking out for it and hoping it never return again. Am so happy I have this site to turn to for information and support while on my journey to delivery.

[dinkydoona]

Monika15 that's fabulous news! I have been checking all week for your update!! Keep rested now hon and relax as much as possible!! I have everything crossed for you xx

[dinkydoona]

Monika15 that's fabulous news! I have been checking all week for your update!! Keep rested now hon and relax as much as possible!! I have everything crossed for you xx

[Hidden in reply to dinkydoona]

Hi girl I haven't been on here for quite sometimes and my reasons are I had another miscarriages at 13 weeks, my water broke again so now I went to see a specialist who's care I am under now so am keeping fingers cross for better results this time around. It appears as if having the strep b is contributing factor to my miscarriages, I will be on antibiotic throughout my whole pregnancy this time round. Hope this new year brings me new beginning and new hope.

[dinkydoona in reply to Hidden]

Hi monika15, sorry to hear that you miscarried again but great news that you are pregnant again! How far are you at the moment into your pregnancy? I am keeping everything crossed for you and praying to god that this is now your time, you deserve it honey xxxx

[Hidden]

Am just tired of all these bad news, I went and see the miscarriage specialist sometimes last year, he puts me on some treatment plan, I had one frozen egg left and I had high hopes it would work but unfortunately I went to have my 7 weeks scan done on Tuesday and there was a very small sac and not a single heartbeat. I am not myself now, my mind is all over the place, I will be having one more go and that's it. I don't think I have the strength to keep going and having all these losses and disappointment. It seems my hormone level was not rising, hence there's no sac or embryo form. What a loss ? Even though I know the results can be quite profound, I still wasn't prepare for this kind of results. What can I say ?