I lived here for two decades, lectured at the university for 15 years, and like the interviewees came to regard myself as being West Indian, and proud of it.
youtube.com/watch?v=yZEV7PG...
I lived here for two decades, lectured at the university for 15 years, and like the interviewees came to regard myself as being West Indian, and proud of it.
youtube.com/watch?v=yZEV7PG...
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Hi BrentW, I really so enjoyed that! You may remember I'm a Barbadian citizen by adoption and my husband's from Guyana. I love and identify with all things Caribbean and to be honest, left half my heart there when I left to come back to UK. I largely feel like a displaced person whether I am there or here. It's one of the follies of making a permanent or semi-permanent home in another country for a long while. Thank you for sharing that! It's a very real thing!
Hi Callendersgal. Like you, I left a huge chunk of my heart in the Caribbean when I left -- which I had to do for medical reasons. Try as I might, I do not yet feel settled in the UK, even though I grew up here. I put down deep roots on Trinidad, and they are still there. Meanwhile, I returned "Home" to a country that had changed hugely while I was away, becoming a foreign country to me. All I see is a palimpsest of where I grew up in the sixties and seventies. The coupling of the strings tying me to Trinidad (I am still supervising four PhD students there) with the sense of being a stranger in a strange land in the UK sometimes fills me with great longing and sadness. I have to fight hard sometimes to rise above that, sometimes even fighting back tears, and be grateful knowing that where I am is the best place for me right now. Does any of that make sense?
It all makes perfect sense BrentW. I too came back reluctantly for health and social reasons and I've had a heavy heart ever since. I too find it hard to recognise the country I left, or of my childhood, and one more thing which pains me is the knowledge that change continues in the Caribbean too, so that were I able to return, it would also not be entirely to that same country I remember. (There's a life lesson in there somewhere!) I'm lucky in that a really good friend from my days in Barbados, also had to return here shortly after I did and we comfort each other when suffering Caribbean homesickness. We share old secret memories which binds us together in the most amazing way. I'm also really fortunate in having a close link still, through my husband. Even though I know in my heart I won't be making a permanent return, I console myself that maybe, via my husband, I might.
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