Progress.: One of the people I've... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Progress.

16 Replies

One of the people I've allowed to cross my boundaries quite repeatedly called me back to tell me about a "terrible problem" (It wasn't terrible, it wasn't good, I know how it happened), and then, in the guise of asking me to adjust some stuff for her convenience - found ways to subtly neg the situation repeatedly. This is not new for her.

The new part for me is that this time when experiencing this, I used broken record technique to reinforce what I would do, it didn't get me down, and after I hung up I was able to laugh at the pattern of criticism while taking the action part in hand.

For once, I'm just declaring success and appreciating the boundary maintenance, and feeling ready for whatever comes next.

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16 Replies
Narwhal10 profile image
Narwhal10

Well done Wallowa,

It is amazing how people perceive things as awful or terrible. Well done on the broken record technique, having the ability to laugh and your success. 😊

in reply toNarwhal10

yes!

springcross profile image
springcross

Good for you Wallowa, maybe she won't try it again now. xx

in reply tospringcross

Thanks. She will, it's pretty baked in behavior for her. But I don't have to bite! (I might someday, how I used to respond was pretty habitual too!)

springcross profile image
springcross in reply to

There's always one wherever you are and they can be a real pain. xx

Narwhal10 profile image
Narwhal10 in reply to

Yes it’s so easy to react as opposed to respond. It’s more beneficial to you 😊

in reply toNarwhal10

live and learn!

Hello you handled that very cleverly and carmly and your approach left you feeling triumphant, unfortunetely we have to deal with all sorts of people in our life's and as I have found some if I could choose to I wouldn't have them in my life and I do try to limit my time to them I particularly try to avoid overly negative people and those who have no empathy for others and are selfish as them types I find are toxic. 🌟🌜

in reply to

Thanks!

Well done Wallowa. It's so empowering when you find you really are able to turn the situation around, and now you've been able to identify the way to deal with it, you can indeed laugh it off successfully. Great news! 🙏

in reply to

Yes :)

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

Well done Wallowa, I must remind myself of those techniques!

in reply toMaggieSylvie

It takes a while to remember to use them in real time :)

MaggieSylvie profile image
MaggieSylvie

Yes, I remember the broken record from an assertiveness course I did many years ago, and it takes practice. I'm not actually familiar with the boundaries maintenance. I have a lot of difficulty with real time and like many people, look back and say to myself: Why didn't I say xyz? The people I need to say it to are adept at it.

in reply toMaggieSylvie

I hear you.

RLN-overcomer profile image
RLN-overcomer

I thank GOD I have been a grateful, and thankful spirited person :) , even during theses challenging :( times. There are people who stub their toe, and they believe their world is coming to an end. I do pray those people will find joy in the little things they take for granted. :) :)

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