Could my wife have post natal depression?

[concernedhusband]

We have a son who is just coming up to 10 months old, is teething badly and getting a little frustrated as he is trying to stand up, and crawl more. On top of this my wife has been told by her work that she cannot come back for 3 days a week like she wanted to, they have told her it is a full time role and she would have to come back full time. We discussed this with each other and decided with the cost of child care, the cost of travelling (70 miles each day) and the fact that she would never see our son, it just wasn't worth it, so she has resigned (possible constructive dismissal but anyway!).

The problem is, she really loved her job and ever since resigning (about 6 weeks ago) she has been feeling really down. It wasn't helped by her work being rather nasty about it all.

My wife now breaks down in tears at almost anything, and tells me that she just worries about everything and feels like her head will just explode. She's constantly tired even though we are getting full nights sleep nowadays thankfully. I try to do as much as possible but with the best will in the world, I'm at work all day and she's stuck at home with our son, and she slowly feels like she's going insane. She does have friends with children so goes to see them at least once or twice a week, but she seems unwilling when I suggest joining other play/swim groups.

What's even more worrying is that she is starting to get frustrated when our son is grouchy and tired and won't go to sleep.

Could this be post natal depression? Should I convince her to see our doctor?

Many thanks for any advice!

[0132sarah]

Hi there,

I adore the fact that you are out to support your partner and coming on here for advice. A great step. I remember when I had post natal my symptoms were depression, tiredness (I was exhausted all the time no matter how much sleep i got). i had a pressure build up in my head. like i was going to explode. crying. very irrational thoughts, some of the thoughts scared me. what i may do. i feared going out. i couldnt keep up with simple things like cooking a meal, cleaning etc. i became more and more withdrawn. i didnt realise at the time that i had post natal. i was always angry, frustrated, sad, confused. suicidal. insomnia in phases.

does your partner know you have made this post on here? if not then maybe let her read this to see if she has these similar feelings? not all women get all the symptoms or get it as severe as I did. but i think it would be wise for your partner to read to see if she believes she has similar symptoms and then if so can go to the doctor. I hope this helps. good luck and stay strong for her. if your partner does have post natal then she will need your full support. looks like from this post she has a great partner

[concernedhusband in reply to 0132sarah]

Hi,

Thanks for taking the time to reply! Just thought I'd give an update and thankfully things seems to be improving greatly. I tried to get her to go to our GP but she was adamant that she didn't need to. However, I also spoke to both sets of our parents and they've been great at stepping in and helping my wife a lot more when I'm at work and giving her a bit of a break. Also she has started some part time work which has got her back into "the real world" a little and I think it has really helped that she now feels she has a bit more purpose in life (other than looking after our son which is of course the most important thing!).

So I think we've managed to change the balance a little and she seems a lot happier.

Thanks again so much for the advice!

[rocky77]

You sound like a wonderfully supportive husband.

Your wife's symptoms certainly sound like pni. Having a baby and then the work issues can put huge strain on a woman. So pleased she has found work (that distraction can help hugely) and a veep from family. Sure things will improve x