New To The Group 2nd Baby still on medication from first pregnancy

I'm 20 weeks today 2nd baby, still feeling very sick and so tired. I was depressed ante-natal and post-natal during my first pregnancy (so much so I was off work during most of the pregnancy and I didn't go back after the birth.

It completely knocked my confidence and made me scared and angry about everything.

I have another job now and find myself trying to keep busy as much as possible so I don't get ill again or give my mind time to think about it.

It doesn't work as soon as work stops and I try to relax I'm worrying again. I feel this pregnancy is different and I'm more confident but I'm petrified of falling apart with caring for the new baby and my 3 year old.

Also I don't find my husband as helpful this time around and it's making me feel sad. I dare not say anything in case people think he's a bad person. He doesn't seem to think he's doing anything wrong.

I'm not that close to my family and they all live a long distance, I though I would get more support from them this time around due to last time, but once again I feel so let down.

4 Replies

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  • Welcome!

    Congrats on your pregnancy. From what you say it sounds as if you're faring much better second time round but it's the worry of feeling as bad as you did first time round that's really getting to you.

    Try to have confidence in yourself. Every pregnancy is different (I got PNI with my 2nd child and with my 1st and 3rd I was fine. This time round you're better equipped to deal with things so if you do start falling ill you'll probably recognise the symptoms earlier and get help quicker.

    What's your husband doing or not doing this time round. It might be he doesn't realise how worried or tired you are especially if you appear ok on the outside. Talk to him, ask him to do specific tasks which might help you out.

    Perhaps it's worth a visit to Drs or health visitor just to talk things over and to have someone keep an eye on you.

    I was very worried about getting PNI again with my 3rd son. For me when I did get it exhaustion was a huge factor so when I had my third son I really did take it easier.

    Do keep talking X

  • Hi firstly congrats, secondly you are stronger than you give yourself credit for! i understand what you mean with the fear. My son is now 8, I was told I would never have children and then I found out I lost his twin before they new he was there as well, he was my miracle baby and you would think I could not possibly go threw postnatal! After I had my son I could not touch him for just under a day, the worst thing I could ever admit is that I didn't have a bond with my baby and I was hospitalised I was that poorly! I had so much support but it didn't make a difference. I swore I would never have another child but now my son is 8 and me and my partner would love another. It scares the life out of me thinking I mite reject another baby and go threw it again but i no that I'm strong enough to see the signs and that fear and the what ifs will not change anything! Your partner is probably trying not to smother you and make you feel like it's going to happen again. He will never understand what you went threw but look at it this way, the more he smothers you and sugar coats it the more you will think about it! Enjoy your pregnancy and know that no matter what happens you have come out stronger than ever and you will do the same this time! You don't need anybody else to tell you that your an amazing mum because you already know you are! You will always have days were you fall apart, every mum does but you know it's just a day and the love you have for your kids won't let you fall apart! Xx

  • Hi Jessica S

    Just wondering how you are? X

  • Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote, I kept myself busy busy busy, things got better, well I had good and bad days.

    Baby no 2 arrived last week, a week early and a very quick delivery so much so I couldnt get down the stairs let alone get to the hospital!

    I had baby on the floor of the bedroom delivered by daddy safe and sound! Had to stay in hospital over night.

    B/Feeding constantly so exhausted physically and mentally. Hormones are raging.

    Unfortunately after my husband asking several time the Midwife team didn't inform the mental health team so I can't see them until next Monday, trying to stay calm and get rest. But I am very up and down.

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