Hi everybody! I'm new here, and hope that you can help me
First of all excuse me if my grammar is wrong, english is my second language. I live in the UK for nearly 5 years. I have two beautiful children (4 and 1) and a loving husband.
But the ast couple of months was horrible and I think I have depression or anxiety, I don"t know really. It"s all so fuzzy, somedays everything is perfect, and I can't imagine why would I have bad thoughts, then the next day, I feel like I am the worst mother, my mind constantly throwing around questions like: Are they eating enough? Are they eating healthy enough? Are we going outside much enough?
Or just looking around the house I just thinking "I'm disgusting I can't even keep tidy a tiny house, and I have to wash the dishes again. And when was the last time my husband and I was alone??? He is sure cheating on me. Or I just imagine all, but my accusatuions will drive him to cheat on me."
I'm always tired, and I'm not even doing anything.
I don't have friends and don't speak regularly with anybody except my husband and my mom and my sister on Skype.
I'm really afraid, and don't know what to do. (It's nor true, I know I need to get out and get some friends but HOW? I'm so freaking afraid they gonna look me down for something)