Depression? What to do?

[Miriel]

Hi everybody! I'm new here, and hope that you can help me

First of all excuse me if my grammar is wrong, english is my second language. I live in the UK for nearly 5 years. I have two beautiful children (4 and 1) and a loving husband.

But the ast couple of months was horrible and I think I have depression or anxiety, I don"t know really. It"s all so fuzzy, somedays everything is perfect, and I can't imagine why would I have bad thoughts, then the next day, I feel like I am the worst mother, my mind constantly throwing around questions like: Are they eating enough? Are they eating healthy enough? Are we going outside much enough?

Or just looking around the house I just thinking "I'm disgusting I can't even keep tidy a tiny house, and I have to wash the dishes again. And when was the last time my husband and I was alone??? He is sure cheating on me. Or I just imagine all, but my accusatuions will drive him to cheat on me."

I'm always tired, and I'm not even doing anything.

I don't have friends and don't speak regularly with anybody except my husband and my mom and my sister on Skype.

I'm really afraid, and don't know what to do. (It's nor true, I know I need to get out and get some friends but HOW? I'm so freaking afraid they gonna look me down for something)

Please help

[rocky77]

Hi

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. The symptoms you've been describing can beling to post natal illness (or post natal depression as it's more commonly known as). Fuzzy headedness, frustrated, obsessional thoughts that can either be there most of the time or come and go.

Have you spoken to your husband or family how you're feeling? It would be also really beneficial to talk to your doctor or health visitor . This illness is very common - statistics show that 20% of mums get it so Drs will have heard it all before I promise you. With support your recovery will be quicker . Just talking can feel like a relief. Dr can offer counselling and or medication. Health visitors can point you in the direction of mother and toddler groups where you could meet other mums. It sounds like you're quite isolated.

Life with two small children is very hard. I imagine you get very little time to yourself. Could you find a little time just for you to do something for yourself ?

Please keep talking . pni.org.uk can be a wealth of information. In the 'our forum ' section you can post and talk to other mums who will have felt similarily to you.