I've heard this phrase recently and it's made me think. I'm normally a very positive person and say Yes to things but maybe I need to say No more often to cut stress and inflammation levels? So here's some things I'm going to say no to. Please add your own suggestions😀. keep it light please, January is hard enough to cope with
I'm saying No to:
The Toblerone I've hidden away from Christmas. I may well eat it before pancake day, but not today
Moaning🤐. I will either do something constructive about it or let it go. Likewise I'll listen to someone moaning for 5 minutes to get it off their chest but no more
Worrying about whether I get to sleep or not before 4am. In fact worrying about anything I can't control
Sitting for more than 20 minutes at a time (as advised on the Michael Mosley podcast mentioned in previous posts). Move more throughout the day
Procrastinating. Well I might leave that one until tomorrow
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tangocharlie
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When I got diagnosed with PMR I used to say Yes to everyone who asked for help or needed something. I had to learn to say No as I just could not do it any more. I really found it difficult though. I sometimes still say Yes when I feel like saying No!
Me too, but then sometimes you discover something new, as my mum used to say 'you'll enjoy it when you get there' LOL. I am going to have to be ruthless with some of my friends who are too demanding though, the ones I'm not that close to and when they ring they just moan and go on about their ailments. I do hope I'm not like that
As herdysheep says - maybe I do it differently. Practical is my middle name when it comes to sympathy - so the empathy level can be high but you are unlikely to find me being sympathetic in the way some people expect or want.
In my experience I don't think sympathy helps anybody. Empathy and practical help and support does. I've got 4 friends battling cancer at the moment and they say the same thing. Whatever you call it, some kind of acknowledgement that life is tough seems to help though when I'm feeling fed up, it shows if somebody cares or not. BTW you are nurturing and kind in spades, and for that you get my Thankyou of the Day x
Whatever you do, it is very much appreciated by loads of people here. I remember when I first came to this group, you were one of the wise ones who had so much knowledge and advice to share. I will never forget how glad I was find this group.
Me too! It’s given me a better understanding of PMR, a plan and some semblance of control. Forever grateful. My GP said that I know more about PMR than he does.
Once a year at Christmas time I buy a big tin (plastic now 😪) of Cadbury's Roses. I just pig out on them for a few days, helped by the rest of the family when they come, until they're finished. Some guilt, but a major amount of enjoyment and nostalgia for Christmases past. There's no way I can say no to that!Otherwise, I have been saying no to carbs (I don't even miss them) , going out in the evenings when I'm too tired, and I'm not jumping to do stuff for people when they say things like "someone should turn the heat up", "there's no milk left", "the bins need to go out", etc... Not my problem!
I’m a pushover and feel dreadfully guilty if I say no to people.
I’ve gone without and gone out driving 20 miles after midnight to my unwell sibling , for things that can wait until morning.
Now I’m in need of support since losing my Mum, my friends have disappeared.
Where are these people who’ve sucked the life out of me at times over the years? I haven’t had the capacity for the last two years but they’re selfish.
I understand people don’t want to be around negativity or sadness, but I’ve always been there for others regardless, I’ve never shown sadness to them. I’m more likely to bury things and deal with them when I feel able.
Where are they? I’m not even complaining to them only asking how they are.
I do feel it’s a female nurturing trait although I come from a long line of strong dominant women.
So I’m going to become assertive and say no to people, might even throw in some choice words to spice it up .
I am more than capable of standing up to authoritarian figures, people have to earn my respect. It’s your everyday person that gets me . Like worrying about homeless people in this weather, searching for peoples missing pets etc .
I’ve told the pharmacist at the GP practice , I’m not going to take DMARDS and will deal with my tapering myself. I’m staying where I’m comfortable . I was going to post earlier this week and didn’t. I don’t want or expect a pity party and rarely complain.
Unfortunately people seem to have become more selfish and entitled since the pandemic.
Oh dear you are having a tough time aren't you. I personally think people have become more stressed and desperate since the pandemic, the country has gone down the pan, I get so frustrated myself, no doctors, no buses, costs of everything doubled etc etc, all the scandals war and injustices. I thought about going the strong words route with some people well one in particular but am trying hard to baffle them with kindness whenever they try and provoke me, it seems to puzzle them that they don't get a reaction, they're itching for a fight LOL. Keep the moral high ground a wise boss once told me when I was a young firebrand
The pandemic was a god send in a way for me. I was so glad I didn't have to go places I didnt want to and do things I didn't want to do. Sorry Covid! I am still using it .. not going in large gatherings...and if it was a friend I could say, no to getting a coffee in a cafe..and say how about a walk. It was so nice! on the other hand it was of course, a NIGHTMARE. It was also a message to me that one doesn't need a PANDEMIC to say no to things you don't want to do. I am trying to hang on to that and say No more often!
Saying no is easier said than done though isn't it? I declined an Invitation yesterday and now feel guilty as that person has helped me in the past, and I tried to resign from a committee for a club I find boring, but they have twisted my arm to stay on until April. And sometimes you just have to be kind and do things you don't really want to do because you care about the person, all relationships need a bit of compromise now and then eh? I didn't manage to say No to the Toblerone either LOL, as Greensleeve says it takes a bit of willpower
Yes my favourite things are people and going places, but even I have become more of a home-bird and hermit these last few years and I don't think it's doing me much good. Caused by age or pandemic or long term health conditions I don't now, prob a bit of each. I need to get out more in '24
Me too Tangocharlie. I want to be less focused on health issues. Your first sentence sums up my former life. Like you, I don’t think being at home a lot does me a lot of good and I hope in ‘24 I can get further along the road to my former self.
The trouble is, I need to sort out the health issues, especially my back problems so that I can do that! And everything takes so much time and I keep going down dead ends and round in circles with differing medical opinions on what to do, I don't know where to turn. And the stress from that won't be helping. At least more of my friends are starting to retire now they're hitting their 60s so I will have more people around to play with. I know things will never be the same again after PMR but I'm hoping I can at least get back to a bit beter health and more walking which you need to be able to do for everything. Keep going Bluey-1. I'm foucsing on the fundamentals of health, eat healthily, try and get more sleep, reduce stress and do more of what makes me happy, like people, and then trust the process to deliver
Same focus for me. Think I’m older than you and all friends are now retired. In the depths of GCA (summer ‘22), post pandemic I felt so isolated as the rest of the world woke up and were gadding about. It felt like I was in a metaphorical glass box watching the world and not able to join in the activities I enjoyed. I’ve plodded along until summer ‘23 when I had the TIA/Afib episode with more meds. I hope you get your back issues sorted soon. It’s so tedious when the health conditions start to mount up and you spend your time dealing with it. I told the nurse who did my recent infusion for osteoporosis that I’m collecting consultants!
OTOH many people found adjusting to the enforced isolation of the pandemic hard, but I'd been used to spending a lot of time at home alone anyway so it didn't bother me so much . In fact it was nice to have more people around to ring for a chat or Zoom. "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone," wrote the French philosopher Blaise Pascal hundreds of years ago. I have to disagree being mainly extrovert LOL, I think most problems come down to lack of communication
Not sure I could or would want to make a definitive list of yeys or neys I like to think that I would make those decisions, at the time, depending on the particular circumstances.
👏 Awesome, I too have run out of feks to give. I went past a shop the other day that had one of those robot Hoovers in the window. I thought that's a good idea, let it do the work. But then thought, nah as I can't really see the dirt why waste money on another gadget. I have now found myself an amazing handyman who does cleaning (he has OCD and loves cleaning adn tidying which is perfect) and other odd jobs about every three week and it's money very well spent.
Handyman or robot? Steve the cleaner even cleaned out my crevices (in the fridge door LOL) and disinfected the whole thing even the drawer where veg should go but mine has mini bottles of wine and sme sorry looking red onions
Yup, Steve does that too, and can even reach tops of doors, shelves etc to dust. The spider that's lived in the corner of my living room since well before lockdown is looking increasingly worried it's going to be made homeless soon
This is a great thread. Interested in the housework tangent which just appeared. My Lenten project is to declutter, and have had some rewards from that already. This morning I opened the junk drawer which had been collecting stuff since we moved in 2019, just to enjoy its refreshing tidiness. Sadly I'm not finding a handful of things which went missing while we were moving. Little things which I think can only have disappeared because they were stolen, but also things which would have meant nothing to anyone else.
How did it go? LOL. I had a 'useful things' drawer in my last house that when I moved house got put in a box marked 'crap from the kitchen drawer'. As far as I am aware, nothing has ever been taken out of that box in 14 years, yet I have a whole new 'useful things' kitchen drawer mainly full of takeaway delivery leaflets
SOME progress, tangocharlie. Have rationalised my art & crafts bits into a transparent box, disposing of dead felt tipped pens & perished elastic bands. Actually contemplating getting creative with the remainder. The real horror of THAT drawer is still to come!
Moving seems be a great de-clutterer (is that a word?). I have lost count of the number of trips I've made to the local tip. I've got another car load outside waiting for delivery this morning, I think, may be wishful thinking, it may be the last one! Regarding cleaning those battery powered vacuum cleaners are so much lighter and easier to use than the bıg mains powered ones.
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I just wish this pmr would go away. 
Do I take 5 extra for 5 days as advised?
Does GCA ever go away or just into remission?
