Sorry to bother you all again, but I am feeling very low and feel like crying, but there is nothing wrong with me. I went to M&S this morning and the salvation army were playing seasonal carols, I just felt overwhelmed with sadness. My neighbour is on end of life care and I am trying to be supportive there, and I should be grateful that I am ok. I just can’t understand this. Could this be due to the low steroid dose I put myself on 2 mg. I did stop them completely a few weeks ago, and am wondering whether this is the cause. With all the problems going on in the world I keep telling myself to I pull myself together. Has anyone else had this problem with reducing the steroids. I did lose my partner last year, but I don’t think this is the cause.
feeling depressed for no reason.: Sorry to bother... - PMRGCAuk
feeling depressed for no reason.
Hi
Never apologise -you are not bothering us -and many have been there.
Would say a combination of things -
Adrenals - yes struggling for sure
Your neighbour’s situation -yes again, you are being supportive and good on you, and I’m sure it’s much appreciated. But don’t let it take too much of your energy.
Time of year -can be emotional at the best of times.
The loss of your partner-oh yes most certainly-this is my 10th Christmas without hubby -and it’s still difficult
The world situation -we may be in a better place than many others, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our own problems
Pulling yourself together? .. don’t say or think that.. just put it down to a temporary stage you are going through - and tell yourself you WILL get through it. You wouldn’t tell someone in your position to pull themselves together, so why tell yourself.
Give yourself a break (and a slightly bigger dose of Pred if required).
Sending hugs 🌸
Thank you once again. You are such a lovely lady and a really informative reply. I may try to up the dose for a while, as this is totally out of character.
It may be out of character - that probably makes it more difficult to deal with -but don’t beat yourself up about it.. it’s the way it is sometimes.
We are humans -not machines..
How wise you are, better than going to counselling, just what I needed. I am going to warm up a mince pie and watch strictly so thank you again. I hope you know how much your words are appreciated.
Thank you,
On a lighter note, all in a day’s work for a Viking Goddess - see this (when you’re bored 😉)
healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk...
I treated myself to a mince pie earlier at garden centre -enjoy Strictly -me watching rugby!
Me too DL!!!
Guess you mean watching rugby-not a Viking goddess 🤣😂
great reply
I think everything you have mentioned has contributed to how sad you are feeling. It is not uncommon at various stages of our treatment. Christmas is a time when we think of the past -our childhoods even and the nostalgia can tip in to sadness for all that has gone before. It is lovely that you are doing what you can for your neighbour. It is sad that you no longer have a partner. Steroids can make you prone to low moods. To top it all Christmas Carols and M&S! In another mood that would have been a happy thing. I hope that sharing how you feel has lifted the sadness a little. Sending you a warm Christmas hug. This too shall pass. 🌺
Thank you for your reply, Carols always used to make me feel happy and content, so helpful is this forum.
I’d very much like a hug with you. The emotions you express are so like mine. I’m crying with you!
We can all support each other here especially as we understand what we are going through perhaps more than our other friends do.
Take care and remember to look after yourself xx
Such lovely replies , so thank you all, it is comforting to know this forum is here as nobody seems to understand , including myself, why I am feeling so low.
I’ve been very weepy for a couple of weeks now, even some of the adverts in tv set me off. Keep telling myself it’s the medication although I’m not as low (8.5mg) as some. Onwards & upwards! 🙄🤔
Could still be adrenals thinking about needing to wake up…..
I was hoping that might be the case, not sure whether to up the dose a little or stick with it and just get on with it. I must say this morning, so far, I haven’t experienced that “low” feeling, hope it continues. Thank you once again for all your help.
Oh i think you would not be alone!! With the best Will in the world, Christmas can knock you. I know i myself have been crying without warning, im nearly afraid to put on the radio with the songs!!! I hope you feel better, you have had a lot on.
As DorsetLady has already said - everything together and it all adds up. And the slightest thing can be enough to ruffle a feather or two. And really not a "pull yourself together" moment.
Dear Guilluame. You are not depressed for no reason. I have definitely had weepier days than others while reducing steroids. But look at the other things going on: loss of partner, illness of friend, Christmas, a time when a lot of people miss loved ones. I want to weep just reading this! I lost my son a year ago come December 22. The last time I spoke with him was a few weeks before. So why shouldn’t we feel depressed. Try champagne, dark chocolate and The Birdcage (hysterically funny movie.)You are not alone, man.
PS. Make plans with friends and find something to do Christmas day.
I find it difficult to respond to this as I. Cannot think of anything worse than losing a child, no matter what age they were. You have a thousand more reasons to feel depressed and sad than me, I am so sorry to hear this. I will try and find the movie The Birdcage. I am hoping, in my case, this is because I am on a low dose of steroids, as the depression overcomes me in waves.
Darn PMR, steroids, depression and loss. We will both be ok. Just changed and tougher.
My heart is with you. Tomorrow is a new day .
Hi. I feel for you losing your son & it will always be worse come Xmas time. I lost my son 7 years ago the day after his birthday, thank goodness I spoke to him. I shall be thinking of you. X
I venture to say that your reaction to all that's going on is perfectly normal. Doesn't make it any easier, but you are certainly not alone. 💗🌺
I’m sending understanding, empathy and support. I get it. You need some treats. Lots of little things that please you. Please message me if you want to chat at any time xx
How kind of you, reading this forum, there are some who are much worse than me, have had things going on in their lives that have warranted being depressed, but with me this has come out of the blue, and comes in waves, one minute I feel, ok , I am fine,and the next I feel really low this is not really me, thank you for your support .
How are you coping today?
I assume that was yesterday, and I was not feeling low, this morning, up earl so far, so good. Awaiting a call from the surgery pharmacist, you have to ask for an appointment to speak to them as they want a medicine review. My last prescription as for 8 mg, but they gave me it all in 1 mg and it read take 4 tablets once a day (8) mg. Duh .
I knew there would be a word for this in some language or other.
German, the pain of the world: Weltschmerz
love that word
I have often been overwhelmed with sadness. Christmas is not always a glorious time as when we were children. There are too many memories for us.
You can’t just pull yourself together. Our brains don’t work that way. I’ve been on an antidepressant since diagnosis which has helped me. I try to keep busy so I don’t sit and think too much. I have a nice life but sometimes our emotions get the better of us.
Hang in there and this too shall pass.
Sounds to me you have plenty of reason for a low mood. My husband died 24 years ago and now and then I still have a crying spell. And the holidays get to many people, and the world is in a terrible state right now -- so much grief and horror -- I can hardly stand to read the news any more. And many people are very mood-sensitive to prednisone. You'll get through it, take heart.
I understand completely, my first husband died aged 52 and I was 48, their memory never leaves you , and
I was lucky enough to meet John and had 31 wonderful years with him. This depression(low) mood didn’t seem related and just overwhelmed me. So once again thank you all.
Just saw this on X (formerly Twitter).
Personally I think your perfectly normal Guilluame, that sharing your sad feelings is such a positive offering to all of us who can identify with them. You are not alone, you are a person who can express the grief of the past and the sadness of now. You are very real.
So, you are a wonderful human being.
Well done 👏 and throw a bit of kindness on yourself too.
Thank you, reading all the replies on this forum has certainly helped.
I'm tearing up reading this and the responses of others. Spending Xmas with the dog who doesn't mind my mood swings and naps during the day. Avoiding music atm - such a pity for a musician - and limiting my watching of the news to once a day. Also trying to keep busy in practical ways, even if that means lying down after hoovering for 5 minutes! I'm having to learn to be less harsh and critical of self. I think I shall have a mince pie for breakfast ...
Overwhelmed is a good word to describe how I have been feeling most of the year. Overwhelmed with sadness or gladness. I could not understand why . I have been on 5gm most of the year. I decided to up it to 7mgs for a few days this week to see if it would help shoulders , lower back etc . It didn’t help , but I have had a clearer , more stable mind, so in my case I do now think it is the pred (or adrenals) making me feel doolally. I guess I will just have to grin and bear it , and hope it passes as it has for others. Hopefully it will pass for you too. I do hope you have a happy , peaceful holiday season .
love the Britishisms I am learning on this site—like doolally😆
😂🤣😅 I’m New Zealand/Australian but it probably is old British😂
Definitely- early 20th century-
"Doolally", originally "doolally tap", meaning to 'lose one′s mind', derived from the boredom felt at the Deolali British Army transit camp. 'Tap' may be derived from the Sanskrit word 'tapa' meaning 'heat' or 'fever'
Merryfield
A lot of our old sayings have interesting beginnings. Thanks . I love the word . Perfect for where I am at .
I know! 😊
I can totally relate to this though I have fewer reasons than yourself to feel this way. I too am on 2mg and have been for 2 months as I don't feel ready to taper because of the sadness I'm feeling. The messages from the lovely people here have been a comfort to me too, so thank you. I hope your sadness lifts soon. I send my very best wishes. 💐
oh goodness! Yes am on 2.5 and resonate with so much that has been said. Mood swings etc. now have had a beastly cold and it has affected my eyes which are red and sore! Someone has suggested caster oil drops which have helped a bit.. but all I needed. My husband died 21 years ago. I still can’t get used to living alone.. but have so much to be grateful for. 2 darling daughters.. with very busy lives of course.. and my darling cocker spaniel Juno who is always there for me.
Onwards!!! All… and Thankyou!
Yay for Juno the dog💕💕
There is no need to apologise and I am glad that you have reached out. I wouldn't say that there is nothing wrong with you. You have been dealing with a chronic debilitating illness that would drag anyone down without all the other things that you mention. My guess is that you are carrying a lot of grief there and it weighs heavy, so I think that how you are feeling is absolutely natural and you should not beat yourself up for feeling that way. It's a difficult time of the year for a lot of people and has been pointed out, all that goes with having PMR, tapering pred etc doesn't help and depression is often listed as one of the symptoms of PMR.
One thing that will help is the passage of time. You won't always feel like this, but you need to be kind to yourself whilst you are riding the wave. That means a kind internal dialogue in your thoughts and the usual things of getting enough rest, eating healthily and getting some fresh air each day. Being in nature can be very healing. No doubt that talking helps most people, so I wouldn't rule out counselling, but talking to us is a good start. If you don't have friends or family with whom you feel safe to share, then I have found journalling has helped me in the past. The process of ordering my thoughts and symbolically off loading and putting it somewhere other than in my head has helped me. Also, if you are aware of your triggers that lower your mood, then it is a good idea to navigate around those, if you can. It doesn't sound like carol concerts are doing you much good at the moment and if I were you, I would be staying away from the news. Find some joyous music that uplifts you instead.
Look after yourself and I hope that you feel a little better soon. 💗
thank you for your response, to be fair, I have never looked at pmg as a chronic illness, so thank you for pointing this out to me, yes I do have an illness, be it mild at times, and so in that, I am not really ok, but today, probably thanks to all of you out there, my mood is not “low”. I have been writing cards and wrapping a few presents. Not listening to any Christmas music, or the dreadful news. I try not to put the tv on until the evening, and as the sun is shining may look around the garden, a little tidying up . So thank you once again.
I think that the systemic effects of the autoimmune activity and the inflammation are often underestimated by both patients and doctors. The fatigue and the overall sense of generalised malaise that the illness can cause can be dreadful for some people. Certainly, I have never got the feeling that the doctors that I have seen take that much into account. The musculoskeletal effects are just one aspect of the illness.
Oh dearest Guilluame. I too cry at the drop of a hat...over nothing at all really. You have so many reasons to be sad and Christmas on top of it. Losing the ones closest to us, friends who are unwell. Grief has no time limit, it's perfectly normal. PMR (don't need to say much). Well done you for pitching in the best you can. Your neighbour has the comfort of a person who cares. We can't just "buck up"; our humanity kicks in. Our forum is that much the better for having compassionate, caring folk like yourself with us. Hugs Guilluame...and thank you.
Christmas is an emotional time for many and you have had a tough year with losing a partner and now your neighbour on end of life care. What with Christmas music everywhere and the nostalgia of the end of the year, it’s no wonder you are feeling as you do. As I get older I reflect more on Christmases past - and indeed my birthday, which annoyingly is on Christmas Day. It always seems a more emotionally charged time, thinking of parents and friends who are no longer here. I never used to feel like this and it seems to have worsened over the years. The Christmas music always sets me off. Really struggle to hear ‘Going home for Christmas..’ as I picture ourselves driving across country to see mum and dad. Take care of yourself, treat yourself, enjoy Strictly (brilliant final 2023) and maybe get out for some walks if you can. Fresh air and winter sun (if we get some) can be uplifting.
As well as adrenal moods, and individual challenges, the suffering of whole populations across the world and our helplessness to do anything about it is very clear.
But also a word about the pred dose - you say you came off and have now gone back to 2 and may go up a bit more. I'd suggest staying where you are unless you have PMR symptoms. Pred dose is very weird and moods can suddenly improve. If you go up and down without symptoms you'll almost certainly have to face this again. X
Guilluame, I'd like to make two comments if I may. Despite any effects of PMR or Pred, which may help to destabilise our moods and emotions to a certain extent, I think there are two things that may help to lift your waves of depression a little.
1. As Gimme has said, writing all the sorrows down in some form of journal helps. I find that once my thoughts and emotions are out of my head, I don't have to worry about them any more. So that's one that definitely works for me, and you may find it helps you as well, to get depressing things off your chest and put away in a journal you can close and forget.
2. I also suffer every Winter from a low mood. I think it's the cold and the shorter days that does it. I feel I want to hibernate till next Spring. However, as that's not possible, it could be the case that we both have SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder).
It's a known medical condition, and there are ways of combating it. One in particular is to sit close to a very bright light for at least an hour every day. It seems that the bright light triggers something in our bodies that reacts to sunlight, and brightens our mood. I've not tried it myself yet, but I do notice that if it's a bright day outside then my mood is brighter too.
I've just looked on Ebay and you can buy a SAD therapy lamp 10,000 lux natural sunlight lamp for between £15 and £20 new, or much less secondhand. Think I might get one for Christmas, who knows, it might cheer me up a bit!
Anyway, I hope you have a good Christmas, with a relaxing meal and perhaps a tipple or two to wash it down. Then you can sit back and admire the size of our new King's ears when he does the annual message (I sometimes wonder if he can do semaphore with them), and afterwards have a nap, then wake up wondering why you're thinking of Dumbo the flying elephant.
All the best!! 
Fantastic reply, I ever thought about a light lamp, but you are right, when the sun shines, as it is now, my mood has lifted I don’t know whether it is that, or the adrenals, it as so unusual for me though to feel so very low and I am so glad that I reached out to the lovely people on this forum. When you feel that you cannot really talk to family, although I know they would try to help, there are all of you who care and understand. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to all of you who have responded it has meant so much.
Minipsec's reply made me think of something else. I assume that you are taking Vitamin D? One of the symptoms of Vitamin D deficiency is low mood and lack of energy.
I’ve felt just the same as you . I was in 5 mg pred but upped it to 7 mg and felt better . I just needed that extra boost to get me through anxious times. I also bought myself some multivitamins, some green tea and Kalms that I take at bedtime . I thought my adrenals were struggling. This may be what’s happening to you as you have extra stress . I feel better now , I hope you feel better soon . Think we will all feel better in the spring xx
Hello Guilluame. I have lupus not PMR. I’m on a low dose of steroids and other medications as I have several autoimmune conditions.
All of the replies here are valuable. I want to be pragmatic and first mention your age. As we get older, it is known that we are susceptible to depression ;blue days. You are fortunate the sun is a mood buster! For me it’s a day inside. Aside from that, I’m 66 and I would have loved to have a friend in my fifties teach me how turning 60 would change me. (Well, I’m very changed with lupus!). Now I have friends in their 60s 70s and 80s. My good friend turns 83 tomorrow. She said when she got into her 70s there were days she just stayed in her pajamas until she had a talk with herself about accepting her age and limitations. Now this is a gal who still participates in Pilates 3 times a week! Next: Celebrate your incredible life at 83!! Most folks do not see 83. Last, when I feel blue and confused I go out and buy myself a new lipstick!! It forces me to smile and folks smile back. 💋💋🎄🎄❗️
Thank you, today has been a better day, delivered all my local Christmas cards, so a walk in the fresh air was good. Am sorry to hear about your lupus, that’s a hard problem to deal with, and hope that the good days out number the bad ones. You are right, I am fortunate to be able to get out at 83 and hope to have any more years to enjoy.
So sorry to hear how low you are feeling.Christmas is not a happy time for everyone.It can be hard for some people remembering there loved ones who have passed.I hope you will feel better soon.Sending hugs your way.
Thinking of you Guilluame and sending you a big hug . The advice from everyone on the forum is terrific. 😁
Thank you, and maybe thanks to this forum that today has been a much better day and for some unknown reason or perhaps all you lovely folks lifting my spirits , my mood has lifted. Yesterday I couldn’t understand why I felt so low, and I still can’t fathom it out, but reading all the comments the answer is there, so once again a big thank you all.
Guillaume, my heart goes out to you, I feel exactly as you do, trying to stay positive, while in pain, but I really am managing my pain. Stay away from getting down on yourself, if you feel low, you are human, and being honest to yourself, really does put all worries into prepspective. There is so much in this world, that we have no control over, but we can work on how we view, and understand our situations, as you can find the good in your life, you are on the right track! Stay up!
Yes 😢
My late mother-in-law used to stand over the loo and “flush” her troubles away. No kidding.
I love that, may just try it.
What a great post! So many wonderful replies. Yet another example of the brilliance of this forum and all those on it. I'm always so impressed with the compassion, courage and knowledge displayed. And the humour!
My small contribution is that, for me, one of the things causing low moods and meltdowns into tears for no (apparently) good reason is the absolute frustration and despair of previously being a very capable person who now isn't quite so capable. A lot of grief and feelings of being much reduced are associated with that. I frequently have "I want my Mum" days (she's long departed and I'm very glad she doesn't have to see me like I am now; it would worry her terribly!). Adjusting to this "new me" isn't easy, but I'm slowly plodding through the "molasses" and getting glimmers of hope that there's an end in sight there somewhere. Particularly when I read this forum and know I'm far from alone.
To anyone feeling poorly in body and/or soul, my heartfelt sympathies and best wishes for things to get better for us all.
isn’t that strange, the “I want my mum” days, like we were small children again, it’s really wanting someone to look after us, but as you say not wanting them to see you like this. As I have discovered this forum is pure magic, the people on it are really caring and offer so much good advice. Thank you for your reply and I wish you and all on here a happy Christmas and much improved health in 2024.
Unfortunately sweetheart depression can hit anyone at any time and there may not be a discernible reason. It could be just one thing, or it could be a lot of little things. It could be simply down to the weather. Some people are affected by the lack of sun, which brings on a condition called SADS. Telling yourself to pull yourself together and be thankful etc., may only put more stress on you and make you feel even more down when it doesn't improve your mood. Take each day as it comes, one day at a time. Eat regular meals and get plenty of sleep. Stop trying to find the reason for your low mood and don't beat yourself up. When the weather is sunny, try spending some time outside in the sun as this can help lift the mood. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself to something you'd really like, even if it is just a bar of chocolate. Take a little time out for yourself. Just remember that we are here to support you and we won't judge you, no matter what mood you are in. Sending virtual hugs.
Thank you so much, this forum and the wonderful people on it who have taken the trouble to reply to me have helped me beyond words can say. Whether this is why yesterday was a good day, and today, so far, I am not feeling the awful low, which is totally out of character with me. I usually, despite the aches and pains, can get on with it, but that low was something else. Let’s hope it’s gone for good.
You can see, Guilluame, how common depression is by the huge amount of response you've received. I find that it helps to write down the things that you feel are contributing, and that this helps to separate them so that it's not one huge burden you are trying to carry, and that as you go through that process the burden can start to ease, you can see with more clarity, just one thing at a time, rather than all at once at the dark cloud.
Thank you, I have been so uplifted by the response and the kindness of everyone on this forum. It is just gone three in the afternoon and a dull drizzle outside and getting dark already so that doesn’t help with the mood. I have a nice fire burning and have put the Christmas decorations up, and so far, not the really low mood of the other day. I wish you and yours a very happy and healthy Christmas.
Hi Guilluame
As others have pointed out, there are many factors n your life leading to your low mood.
I am a Clinical Psychologist (also with PMR, Parkinson's Disease, and encephalomyelitis) specialising in grief issues. We find that feelings like anger, shame, guilt, tearfulness, etc., protect us from the main emotion which is sadness so often present and affecting out lives, even at seemingly very low levels of grief.
I am currently involved in a research activity with the University of Adelaide in South Australia, examining the positive effects of a new form of psychological therapy which is reportedly bringing surprisingly positive results to those with grief ranging from pathological to normal or residual grief present 6 months from the death of the loved one.
If this is of interest to you or anyone else please let me know so that I can provide you with more information. The therapy is offered at no charge within the scope of this research and incudes 2 x 90 minute sessions following an introductory interview.
The therapy can be delivered on a computer via Zoom which we can assist you to set up.
Please let me know if I can help?
JohnnoX.
Thank you for your response, I would be interested in your research project, if you could let me know in the new year how I can be involved ad if you are interested in my input. I hope you have a very happy Christmas and a joyful new year.
Thank you Guilluame.
What a lovely and genuine person you appear to me. I shall consult with my lead researcher and determine the best approach for you.
I cry too by the way. It's the level pf empathy I feel for my fellow person. Treat yourself with kindness G. It seems you deserve it.
JohnnoX
I would be very interested to know more
Yes, I would be interested to learn more too please.
More on the way for you in a day or two also,
Regards,
JohnnoX
Don't those days get away G?!
I didn't realise at the time that our study is confined to Australia. Only discovered that yesterday from the lead investigator (I call him the fat controller as in Thomas the Tank Engine). All in the best of humour of course.
The therapy titled Induced After Death Communication (IADC) and is described well enough in a little book By Dr Al Botkin about his discoveries as a lead clinician with 20 years of experience at the Chicago Veteran's Hospital and in his private practice, the Centre for Grief and Traumatic Loss in Libertyville, Illinois.
I don't have the space to explain it all here, but Dr Al was unhappy with the lack of progress using traditional methods of therapy such as exposure and habituation by exposing the person to feared events.
Over time, Dr Al built on the work of Dr Francine Shapiro, a psychologist in the USA known for her work in evolving an intervention called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) which has gained international notoriety as the frontline treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and many other complaints as well. EMDR is another very long story, but suffice it to say that Dr Al began to achieve stunning results by modifying the standard protocol for EMDR to treat his combat vets. Now he began to get significantly improved outcomes.
The story is in his very readable book.
Time passes and Dr Al focuses on sadness as the target emotion or feeling connected with persistent grief. We may use anger, shame, guilt, etc., as covers for the real problem, untreated or insufficiently treated sadness. Anger, shame, guilt cover the sadness with thoughts like, "I await the day I can even....", now the cat's out of the bag....", or "If only I had listened more...". While these feelings exist sadness can stand alone and largely unresolved.
And that's what we are after: to elicit an improved outcome for people in persistent and complicated grief.
I am sorry that all I can bring to you is a short story but I am making a search of the UK to see how you can further investigate access for yourself.
PMRpro expressed an interest in this topic and I hope It's ok with you that I make PMRpro aware of this note.
JohnnoX
Thank you for your letter. Of course, no problem. I wish you and yours a very happy and healthy New Year.
Thank you Guilluame.
What a lovely and genuine person you appear to me. I shall consult with my lead researcher and determine the best approach for you.
I cry too by the way. It's the level pf empathy I feel for my fellow person. Treat yourself with kindness G. It seems you deserve it.
JohnnoX
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