Feeling guilty: Icy cold, dull and windy. Am quite... - PMRGCAuk

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Feeling guilty

Constance13 profile image
98 Replies

Icy cold, dull and windy. Am quite happy to stay snuggled up in a blanket BUT - I haven't been out of the house for 4 days. Anyone else "suffering" with guilt?

I do get up once an hour and "potter" for 5-10 minutes in the mornings but is it enough?

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Constance13
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98 Replies
Nextoneplease profile image
Nextoneplease

Hi Constance 😊

No need to feel guilty! I am pretty busy just at the moment, but any chance I get, I flop on the sofa or under the duvet…..I would do it more if I could.

The cold, dark weather doesn’t help, neither does our ongoing state of less than good health.

Give yourself some treats now and then, and keep in touch with people virtually if you don’t go out. But certainly, provided you’re content, there’s no need to feel guilty 😊xx

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer

No need to feel guilty……but do keep pottering as much as is possible….and with your weather safer to stay indoors.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toDorsetLady

I can always say "I was advised byDL" to stay indoors!🤪😂😂

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply toConstance13

Happy to be of assistance …and who would dare to argue 😉

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toDorsetLady

Quite! 😂👵🏻

cycli profile image
cycli

Well, if I didn't have trees down to section and logs to split for firewood and fences to put up and dogs to walk I'd be joining you Constance. GCA is still lurking and a bad night last so taking it easy today and have upped my dose back to 35mg and will start reducing when stable again. At least bloods 2 and under 4 so inflammation down and opthalmologist cleared me no eye damage yesterday. Thankful for that news. Power back on after 5 days and water running properly after freezing so relatively normal. Daughter up at weekend to help with the sheep so all good. Don't feel guilty. I slept in till 9.30today. Was good.

Nextoneplease profile image
Nextoneplease in reply tocycli

Gosh cycli, there is no way I could even begin to do what you do! More power to your elbow 💪 and please don’t overdo it!!😊

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toNextoneplease

cheers but don't worry. I do what I can each day and try and rest in the afternoon. Needs must and I do enjoy the exercise. Storm Arwen wreaked havoc up here and they are still getting people connected. We were relatively lucky as we have a generator which I fixed to power freezers and essential equipment. Log burner and back boiler for hot water saw us through.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tocycli

So sorry that the storm hit you so badly. Take care though you don’t want a flare.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toSheffieldJane

It's okay really. I knew what we were letting ourselves in when we decided to move North from Hertfordshire. We love it here and couldn't be happier. Admittedly this disease has put a bit of a spanner in the works . The workload I take on now is less than a quarter of what I used to do so much easier to manage but at some point I'm going to have to catch up all those things slipping by or change the profile of what we expect from the farm. Who knows. Life is full of surprises some good and some not so.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tocycli

With your upbeat attitude I think you will be just fine. I hope you have a magical Christmas! 🎄

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toSheffieldJane

cheers SJ. Some days takes some working on but generally life is good and I only have to look out the window to a view that takes your breath away in it's beauty. We have most of the rare or endangered species of bird all nesting and visiting our farm regularly and a quiet peaceful existence. 40% of UK Curlews are in this valley. 5 families of grey partridge are happy here woodcock, snipe, redshank, golden plover, lapwing, barn owls, tawny owls, little owls, long eared owls, Kites, buzzards, large Kestrels, black Grouse, field fare, redstart, all the tits nuthatch, tree creeper, all species uk woodpeckers. You name it we've probably got it.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tocycli

You paint a beautiful picture.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toSheffieldJane

It truly is. I'm a southerner born and bred and I feel more at home here than anywhere. I grew tired of the way people moving out of London changed the atmosphere in our village. Putting up security gates, not looking at youwhen they passed you in the street, trying to stop the church bells from ringing and not using the local shops but complaining when they closed. Up here they still have close community support, and talk to eachother and have small retail local shops with character. People make the place what it is and we are happy here.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply tocycli

Lovely!

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toConstance13

still enjoying poddling about and snuggling? I should add that we have been appreciated by the many generation farmers because we took on a farm which had been allowed to run down for 30 years. We removed 30 acres of ragwort, 120 acres of docks, buttercup, nettles, thistles, repaired 4km of tumbled stone wall, erected field fences to control stock, repaired the field drainage, dug 500metres of syke to allow the water to run for the first time and reclaimed 3 acres of bog mud area which had grown as a result. The fields grow healthy grass and look well cared for and the neighboring farmers welcome that. Oh, and completely gutted and rebuilt the farmhouse,and out barns, one of which had collapsed. I still have three to work on and the main one is a 3 story 80ft by 40ft stone monster which I hope one day to convert to a cycling center. We'll see.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toSheffieldJane

thankyou SJ I hope you do also. It will be a quiet one and probably an infernally complicated jigsaw lasting for days.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tocycli

I hope I don’t end up staring at my Australian family through a hotel window! Your hobbies sound just perfect.

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply toSheffieldJane

When are you travelling? And staying how long?

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toHeronNS

My middle daughter and family are coming here via Thailand. Leaving Australia on 15/12. They have to wait for PCR test results in a hotel 5 minutes from my home, for 2 nights. If any of them tests positive they have to isolate for 10 days. The hotel is set in lovely grounds ( one plus). I really don’t know what’s going to happen. I am banned from fretting or coming up with suggestions or even asking questions. My daughter and I are alike and we make each other crazy. Ding Dong merrily on high!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply toSheffieldJane

Oh, right, I forgot it is they who are travelling. It will be fine. Visualize that all goes well.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toSheffieldJane

I thought they could leave the hotel after two days SJ?

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toConstance13

Yes, after 2 days. But all the grandmas and one of the grandads are vulnerable. My son in law’s sister has an empty house, they will use that if they have Covid. We all live, within a short distance from each other. That is if they are not detained in Thailand 😱. It’s been two years! The baby has just won an outstanding achievement award for reading! What?!

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toSheffieldJane

very advanced for a baby!!! sounds like a complicated travel so hope it all goes well🤞

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply tocycli

😂😂

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tocycli

He will always be my baby, he was a pre- schooler.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply tocycli

Sounds like VERY hard work. In fact I have never worked that hard.👵🏻👵🏻

Things are looking up a bit for you. Enjoy!

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toConstance13

thanks. will do

DorsetLady profile image
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer in reply tocycli

Appreciate you have animals to look after, and you’ve been hard hit by Storm Arwen, but you need to rest up as much as you can otherwise you know what will happen …so I won’t nag! Well, not too much 😳

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toDorsetLady

feel free. Certain things just have to be done. trying to pace them. not always possible as you'll know.

jenerino profile image
jenerino in reply tocycli

You have my sympathy! We lived in SW Scotland, Kirkcudbrightshire for 6 years hill farming. It was 24/7. My book Skeoch (in Amazon) relates it all. My husband was an actor and quite often left me alone up there with two children and a fifty acre farm whilst he came down South to act! My name is Jennie Phillips. Hope you keep yourself paced...and do rest when you can.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply tojenerino

Hi Jennie. Thanks. I do try and bad weather both helps and hinders. It is what it is and we manage. I'll look up your book. Always god to see another's perspective. Maybe I'll write something of the life I've led sometime .

jenerino profile image
jenerino in reply tocycli

Thank you. I'm sure you probably have plenty to relate. They do say we all have at least one book in us. Give it a shot!

Kendrew profile image
Kendrew

Hi Constance13.Well.....I think after living with this condition for as long as you have, you've probably earned a few 'duvet' days! I don't think you should feel guilty and I don't think an odd day wrapped in a blanket does any harm....however!.... I also know from my own personal experience that keeping moving and some daily gentle exercise is extremely beneficial for both our physical well-being and our mental well-being. Being too sedentary may also increase the risk of various medical conditions emerging, such as circulatory disorders, digestive problems, diabetes, posture issues, plus several more.

So, it's all about balance. PMR and the medication involved frequently makes us feel lethargic, fatigued and generally lacking in motivation but I personally feel it's really important to make the effort when we can.

I tend to be at my most active in the morning and then I rest in the afternoon. I go to the gym every morning for GENTLE exercise, do yoga for osteoporosis and go for a walk as often as I'm able. I'm fortunate I can do this (at the moment!) but everyone will have their own individual limitations and capability but don't forget....even the smallest efforts can reap rewards.

In the meantime....snuggle down and watch a Christmas movie! ❤️

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador

I've been out twice today!!! The second time was only because I forgot to get milk the first time which would have been a disaster in the morning! A major plus for going out in these temperatures is that the flat feels SOOO warm when I get back even though the heating isn't on yet.But to be fair - the sun was shining brightly - and that always makes you feel better :)

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toPMRpro

Angeber!😂

Blimey! We have had the heating on since beg of Nov.

"SUN" - what's that?

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toConstance13

Oh the heating is on in the morning! Until 9. And in the evening from about 6pm. Got to be pretty chilly for me to put it on in the daytime - socks and a pully first! I'm still in bare feet and summer blouse yet.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toPMRpro

Wow! Thermal tights, pullover and long fluffy socks for me (and that is INSIDE)!!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toConstance13

Now you see why OH wanting heating on full blast 24/7 was so agonising for me. Never mind the electricity bill ...

Umufu profile image
Umufu in reply toPMRpro

Ah, ein 'Angeber' im 'Pully'! Music to my ears. Constance und Pro, geniesst es.

Purplecrow profile image
Purplecrow in reply toPMRpro

Bare feets and summer blouse! OMG girl, you are hardy! I've been in mukluks and woolies since October😁

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toPurplecrow

That's inside ... I did wear socks and sandals to go to the supermarket the other day as that counted as not being outside - but the winter boots came with me in a bag just in case! But at present and never above freezing even I draw the line at sandals ...

Purplecrow profile image
Purplecrow in reply toPMRpro

💜🤣

herdysheep profile image
herdysheep in reply toConstance13

🤣☀️🥛

Purplecrow profile image
Purplecrow

Oh Hell!! No guilt here...I figure we rose with the sun and worked every day (50 years or so) through child rearing and jobs...So after retirement, I can cuddle, snuggle, and snore to my hearts content!

💐🙏🏽💐

Grammy80 profile image
Grammy80

Constance, please do not feel guilty for giving yourself what you need!!! There is a time for everything...and snuggled up in a blanket while it is icy (slip and fall), cold (you could catch one) dull and windy.....inside is the place to be...and do what you like when you like.💖

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane

Allow yourself this Constance. Your 10 minute potter is admirable. View it as time you have in the bank saved from all those years you were rushed off your feet. You’ve earned it. 👏👏👏

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toSheffieldJane

Thanks Jane.💥 You've made me laugh (even through dreadful pain this morning).

I've had such an easy life and "rushed off my feet" came into it very rarely.

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toConstance13

Are you a duchess?

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toSheffieldJane

Of course!🤪💥🤩

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog

Someone told me that guilt is a wasted emotion so no need to spend precious energy on that! I have set aside one day a week for just me. Yesterday it comprised a duvet, hot water bottle, half a bottle of wine, bar of chocolate, half a wedge of brie and ice cream!! No guilt!!

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toPoshdog

Oh and I forgot, heating on all dat!

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toPoshdog

Dat = day

herdysheep profile image
herdysheep in reply toPoshdog

Made me chuckle, thank you.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toPoshdog

Sounds like a plan! Though with a duvet and HWB I wouldn't need the heating on!

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toPMRpro

I probably would! I'm sending my husband and daughter crazy. Think they're trying to find ways of isolating me.👵🏻🥺

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toConstance13

They have my sympathy! That is what I had to do - the small room was his, door shut and electric radiator on so the rest of the house was "normal" - I confess how I have it now would be a bit cool for a lot of people!

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toPMRpro

No no no! I need space. I'll get them to sit in the kitchen - it's FREEZING in there.🤪

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toPMRpro

sounds just right for us .

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply tocycli

At least I'm not the only one then ...

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toPMRpro

you are cold adapted and also generate your own as do we. Comes from being active most of the day.

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply tocycli

"Comes from being active most of the day." - you must be thinking of someone else!!

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toPMRpro

😂obviously

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toPMRpro

That's what the ice cream is for!

PMRpro profile image
PMRproAmbassador in reply toPoshdog

But it melts ...

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toPMRpro

Not if you really scoff it down!

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toPMRpro

Not if you scoff it down!

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply toPoshdog

We were offered ice cream for dessert yesterday and I declined because I knew it would make me cold! Usually I keep our place cool but it's not easy where we live now. I didn't turn on the heating once last winter as our neighbours keep us warm. However I was very hot here (away from home) last night. Seem to be having trouble regulating my internal thermostat but should be fine when home again.

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toHeronNS

Perhaps skip the ice cream where you are. The overwhelming feeling I had was a whole day of indulging me. We all do too much and putting the brakes on without feeling guilt is quite amazing. My recipe won't suit all, it's what suits you that matters. X

HeronNS profile image
HeronNS in reply toPoshdog

I was very sorry afterwards that I'd eaten a second slice of delicious pizza. Something to do with the quantity of wheat. Awful pain right in my stomach, a feeling my clothes were too tight, they weren't, and a minor transient toothache. I had to lie down for a few minutes then I was okay. This has happened a few times but I haven't paid attention to any pattern, but I think wheat is involved. I get no other symptoms though.

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toHeronNS

Oh no, that's not the outcome you want. Perhaps wheat intolerance? Maybe stick with the duvet until you find a real treat that likes you. I just enjoyed the lack of interruption and demands not to mention criticism that I might otherwise have experienced - me time. X

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toPoshdog

I'm wishing for a day like that. Maybe some day. enjoy.

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply tocycli

Make it happen! It seems to be a question of saying NO. However much you want to do and however much you want to help there comes a time when the only answer is NO! x

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toPoshdog

Any room under your duvet?

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toSheffieldJane

Only for me, I'm afraid...... sorry x

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toPoshdog

In that case I will resume looking out of the window with Grammy.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toSheffieldJane

I do wish people would tell us their gender. That could have been a very naughty suggestion SJ!🤪

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply toConstance13

Poshdog is a married mum, as am I. I was after her wine and chocolate. There are more ( very welcome) chaps of late and no I wouldn’t have said that to a man. I am not under a rug making mischief Constance 😂.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply toSheffieldJane

more's the pity:-)

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toSheffieldJane

Oh I love this site. I would share my wine and chocolate but the peace and quiet is my own! xx

Constance13 profile image
Constance13

😂😂 You devil you!

Poshdog profile image
Poshdog in reply toConstance13

🤣 🍷 xx

Telian profile image
Telian

What’s to feel gulty about? Remember the rule - listen to your body! That’s what you’re doing aren’t you? Important to continue with the pottering every hour though…. Enjoy! 🌺

Hi everyone :) I stay in a lot as it's even freezing cold down here in Devon. I have just managed to get comfortable reading books again! So, I have a new Kindle on the way from Amazon. We try to go out for walks in our lovely neighbourhood but are not fans of the cold weather.

I'm already researching a new hammock and wind breaker for the summer

Have fun, enjoy life and binge watch TV

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply to

👏👏👏 Have a great Christmas David.

in reply toConstance13

You too Constance!

I forgot to mention I have a Nintendo Switch which I use on the TV. Besides the Mario games there are some really clever keep fit games. Ring Fit Adventure is absolutely a work out and I also have a few Super Mario games which keeps my mind alert.

Take a look at Ring Fit Adventure on YouTube. The settings can be adjusted

cycli profile image
cycli in reply to

I've never played any computer games. I have CAD and that totally absorbs me designing all sorts of things in 3D modelling.

JJackdaw profile image
JJackdaw

Get yourself out there if you can, even if it’s just a short walk up the road. I’m like that, except that the last time I went outside was August 2020. I’m now too afraid to go out and my immobility is getting worse because of inactivity and fresh air. Covid was used as an excuse as was my ileostomy operation. I’m in more pain than ever now but only I can fix it (hopefully) by going outside. So I have to take my own advice and get out there , if I can. 🙄Hope you feel better soon.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13

Thanks JJ. Believe me I DO go out as often as I can - just a bit of sun would entice me to go for a short walk. But the weather at the moment is ......... (no rude words allowed on the forum)!!😂👵🏻

Sharitone profile image
Sharitone

I think you should feel virtuous for staying in when it's freezing, because if you went out and slipped up, then other people would have to look after you. Just as it's virtuous to leave the bed to air, rather than making it.

Constance13 profile image
Constance13 in reply toSharitone

👏👏😂😂

singingloud profile image
singingloud

Yesterday I accomplished a lot of shopping. I finished a long list of items to get ready for Christmas. I commented to my husband that it had been a long time since I had been out since I was home taking care of him and my mom with covid for two weeks.In the morning I didn’t feel up to getting out but when I pushed myself out the door with mask on face it felt good to get it done!

Today I will take it easy as I slowly decorate the house and then go to dress rehearsal for the Messiah.

Enjoy your time inside your snug!

SheffieldJane profile image
SheffieldJane in reply tosingingloud

That is joyful! I wish we could see a clip of you.

singingloud profile image
singingloud in reply toSheffieldJane

Awe thanks. Two years ago I was a soloist but this year I decided to just be in the choir because of my back surgery and getting my voice back in shape.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply tosingingloud

Oh how I envy you singing the Messiah. Brings back memories of being leading choirister. I still know every note of the treble and every word. We had to know it by heart and sing without the work in hand. As a tenor/britone it gave me some grief singing in a different clef. I'm afraid that this disease has ruined any hope of singing again at that level. Enjoy.

singingloud profile image
singingloud in reply tocycli

I have it imprinted on my memory. Every solo and every chorus. It makes me forget my condition. It always brings my high range as a soprano back. It has taken more to regain it this time but I love every note I can sing at this time.My favorite oratorio!

We are doing the Easter portion this spring and I’m hoping to be ready to audition again.

cycli profile image
cycli in reply tosingingloud

Alceste this recording will leave you speechless. amazon.co.uk/Handel-Christo... and for pure raw emotion Janet Baker Dido Purcell amazon.es/Purcell-Dido-Aene... enjoy

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