To Work or Not to Work.

[Kendrew]

There has been some recent discussions around the subject of returning to work and how compatible this might be with a diagnosis of PMRGCA.

I too am currently having this mental debate as I prepare for a 3rd and final attempt at returning to work in a primary school.

I'm not posting this particularly for any advice or anecdotes. I'm just really expressing some thoughts on the subject from my perspective as a person about to embark on this challenge.

For me, returning to work means purpose to my day....... normality....... returning to a job I love....being with friends & colleagues again....and most importantly, working with and supporting the children I love in the nursery class where I teach.

However, being at home means..... having time to focus on just me & my current needs.......space to rest, relax and recharge.....and a safe space where I can feel secure and comfortable.

Over the past year, I've learnt to manage my condition much more effectively and with progressively more positive outcomes. Through having all this time at home I've been able to improve both my physical strength and mental & emotional well-being. I now take a daily hour long walk around the meadow and fields outside my own front door every morning and when I come home I know I have all the time I need to rest. After lunch I'm able to do some gentle yoga for bone devpt, muscle strength and balance and then again I know I have all the time I need to rest.

Although I've always eaten very healthily I've had time to research my diet and prepare healthy meals that support my condition and I've been able to pace myself with regard to housework....being able to choose when I do the ironing or vacuuming and adjust those times at the drop of a hat on days when I've felt more fragile.

This daily regime has reaped so many benefits..... improvement in my physical strength, improved sleep patterns, reduction in anxiety levels and huge improvement in mood. I'm probably feeling as well as I've ever felt since being diagnosed, but here is the dilemma! This positive and significant improvement in my health is probably ONLY due to the fact I've had all this time at home to invest in myself. I've literallly had all the time in the day to just do whatever has worked for me. As soon as I return to work (mornings only) something will have to give! After a morning at work with 26 under 5's I know I'll definitely need to rest when I get home and I definitely won't be capable of both going for a walk as well as yoga in the afternoon. In fact I may not be able to manage either. On top of that there will be all the normal household chores to fit in too! Time for 'me' will be significantly diminished!

So!....the big question is....Is my return to work going to be worth it?

On reflection, I've made so many health gains through being at home and ONLY because of being at home so it would be soul destroying if all that progress was undone as a result of going back to work.

I don't know the answer to that question yet...but I guess I'm going to find out! I do know though that I'm not prepared to see all the positive outcomes unravel in front of my eyes, so at the very first sign of any kind of 'issue' I'll be taking the necessary action.

Sometimes life isn't black & white. Returning to work often seems like the holy grail of proof you're 'well' and everything is normal again, when in fact, just being well itself is the holy grail! I'm still going to give it a go because selfishly...I want to!...but I'm definitely not going to compromise my health and if I can't sustain my current level of well-being then I'll make the necessary adjustments!

Fingers crossed 🤞

[jinasc]

I can completely understand why you want to return to work.

Is it possible to stagger your return to full time working. Many moons ago when I worked in Civil Service, arrangements were made for people returning from a long-term illness to ease them into eventually a full return.

e.g half a day, alternate days, every other day or reduced daily hours....... 4 hour day not a 8 hour day.

Do you have an HR department to talk it over with?

[Kendrew in reply to jinasc]

I've had full support from my SLT and had a meeting with occupational health team. I'll have a phased return with reduced hours and adjustment of duties, so lots of help in place. I only work mornings anyway but could still definitely have an impact. Hoping it will be a positive one though ! Thankyou for your reply.

[jinasc in reply to Kendrew]

Good, not all employers are as good.

Can I suggest you take your pred around 2am or whenever you wake up after 2am.

This gives the pred time to get cracking.

[Kendrew in reply to jinasc]

Thankyou for that advice . Much appreciated.

[123-go in reply to jinasc]

Hi jinsac. Kendrew works mornings only but it's a fact that teaching isn't like most other jobs. While the headteacher can be very sympathetic, it is difficult to help a member of staff whose day to day needs may be erratic or unpredictable. There's the question of who is to teach your class if you are suddenly caught by pain or fatigue/tiredness. Staff absence is dealt with by employing a supply teacher but this can't be fulfilled on the spot, as it were. With luck there may be a teaching assistant stolen from another class but if no one is available the 26 little ones can't be left with no supervision. It's complicated 😔. I have been unwell in my teaching days and struggled on with migraines and awful nausea. Once, the headteacher offered me the little bed in the sick bay at lunch time and that was much appreciated, but I had to go back to class for the afternoon session with 31 ten to eleven year olds, barely able to move my head, praying that I wouldn't throw up and the afternoon seeming endless. Nevertheless, a wonderful and fulfilling career that I look back on with great satisfaction.

[123-go]

So well-explained, Kendrew. You are very sensible in accepting you will have to adjust your thinking if things don't go as well as hoped. I wish you the best of luck and good health as you go forward. The little ones will be pleased to have you back at school, as will your colleagues. 🤞🏼

[PMRpro Ambassador]

I worked freelance from home - with all the downsides that entails with regard to housework, childcare and a husband who can't/won't switch on either vacuum cleaner or cooker ... So I had a cleaner - a friend who needed a bit of income but who had childcare problems. She brought the kids, cleaned as I would clean if I could be bothered and I retreated to undisturbed bliss with my computer and dictionaries.

When we moved my kitchen and the flooring was PMR-friendly and we had no children living at home so it didn't matter that I couldn't find a replacement. I need one here, had one for a time but then she changed tack and worked as a carer rather than cleaner and couldn't find another for a long time. I'd just found one to start the following week and lockdown here meant that wasn't allowed. It probably is now - but given OH's medical problems we are less than enthusiastic about having someone into the house. It is rather dusty ...

If working is more important than the income - a cleaner is the answer. Not doing housework really does free up a LOT to use for more rewarding pastimes whatever they are. I was told by an orthopod not to use a vacuum or broom because of my back problems - and he was spot-on

[Kendrew in reply to PMRpro]

Why didn't I think of that! My modest salary helps towards holidays and treats etc but going back to work is more about the enjoyment and pleasure it gives me. I just love being with the children. So!.....I can well afford a cleaner and I'm about to find myself one right now! It's sometimes the most obvious things we can't see isn't it. Will definitely free up more of my time.

Good suggestion PMRPro. Thankyou

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Kendrew]

It's because it is so obvious and somehow feels like even more of a luxury than a holiday.

[Hidden in reply to PMRpro]

Absolutely to a cleaner!!!! I loathe cleaning with a passion.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

Bet not as much as me!!!!

[Kendrew in reply to PMRpro]

LOL😄😄

[Hidden in reply to PMRpro]

It might be a close run thing!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

Do you actually DO any?

[Hidden in reply to PMRpro]

I can't stand a skid mark so waft the loo brush after use, I rinse the bath and clean up after myself in the kitchen ... apart from that? Nope.

My husband vacuums regularly (we have a lab and a springer spaniel) and dusts occasionally. He may do more when I'm at work but I haven't observed much while I've been at home.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

OK - we're about equal! Except my husband can't help at all now - not that he ever did much - but there are no pets! I clean the shower while I'm still in it I just wish someone would explain where the fluffy dust arrives from ...

[Hidden in reply to PMRpro]

Even when I was fit and well, there is always something that I'd rather do than cleaning.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

You can say that again - although certain aspects of cleaning are preferable to going shopping ...

[Hidden in reply to PMRpro]

True dat, as the young people say.

[SheffieldJane]

Good luck with your decision making. A list of pros and cons helps me. Having said that the grieving period for my former work was unexpectedly sharp.

[Kendrew in reply to SheffieldJane]

Thankyou. I don't know if I can do this but if I don't try one final time I'll always wonder "what if....." I'm in the best position I'll ever be to make the return but if working means I start to forfeit the improvement in my health then I'll leave.

I can always go in to school as a volunteer helper one day a week or whenever I feel up to it, so it's not like I'll totally lose contact with the children. We'll just wait and see what happens.

[123-go in reply to Kendrew]

Spot on!

[Kendrew]

Thankyou for that. I must admit that I do partly feel disgruntled at possibly being forced into early retirement through ill health. It's not how I envisaged ending my working days! Call it the Yorkshire stubborn streak in me that wants control! 😄My health is more important and what will be will be.

[powerwalk]

Good luck with it i hope it works out for you. I know what its like to want to be in work!!

[Pangolin43]

Hi Kendrew,

I’m an early years teacher too and currently undergoing my first return to work. Your thoughts echo mine. Im lucky that my retirement age is 60 and I was already considering different options such as retiring a few months early before the onset of PMR. I may well still do this.

It’s good that you are working mornings only and can plan rest in the afternoons. I wondered if you have considered a ‘phased retirement?’😀

[Kendrew in reply to Pangolin43]

I hadn't actually considered phased retirement because I'd never heard of it before! Just googled it and definitely another option to consider. Thankyou.

[Hidden]

Thank you Kendrew for your clearly articulated thoughts on your return to work.

As you know (if you recognise my screen name) I had my first day back at school today and, when contemplating my return, my thoughts were much the same as yours.

Now that the tiredness is dissipating, I feel fantastic most of the time - although grotty on Tuesday and Wednesday, post-methotrexate. However, I am all too aware that I probably feel so well because - like you - I have been really investing in myself. Walking, swimming, yoga, resting with a book or Netflix, being careful about what I eat, ensuring that my husband cooks supper a couple of nights a week ... Like you, I am worried that going back to work is going to mean less time for that self-care.

Are you going to be returning to five mornings a week? When talking to my GP about my phased return, we agreed that I would attempt two, non-consecutive days for a month at which point we would review it and I would either remain at two days, reduce to one day or add in another day. Of course, the worst case scenario is that attempting the two days causes a flare up and I have to go off sick again. My hope is that on my non-working days I will be able to maintain my self-care - not just flop because going to work has taken so much out of me.

At 53, I feel much too young for early retirement; I spent many years as a stay at home parent so have diddly squat in terms of pension contributions and really can't afford early retirement unless is becomes essential. Also, bearing in mind (and being hopeful) many, many cases of PMR are time limited, so I don't want to make the decision to retire early, then go into a prolonged remission and need to start job-hunting again. Although I'm a teacher, I'm not classroom based and my job is very specialised - it's taken me more than 30 years as a teacher to find a job which gives me as much joy and satisfaction as this one so I am loathe to give it up.

As you say, getting back to work is seen as something that we should all be aiming for, but this may not necessarily the case. It all seems very complicated! Please keep us updated - I very much hope that everything goes well for you.

[Kendrew in reply to Hidden]

Hi there. Yes I recognise your screen name. Thankyou for your response. If you claimed child benefit you'll have been granted national insurance credits so your state pension will be up to date for those years you looked after the children so things may not be as bad as you think!

You are significantly younger than me so the implications of leaving work won't be the same......different considerations.

Thankyou for your good wishes and I hope you are enjoying your return to work too. Happiness!🙂

[Hidden]

Yes, I have credits for the state pension but haven't contributed much to the Teacher's Pension Scheme - not least because for several years, when I worked p-t, I made no contributions at all thinking that we needed the money more than I needed a pension. Der!

[Coffeebeans]

I hope it works out well what ever the outcome. You are number 1 here and I'm glad you have options in order to stay well 😃

[_charcoal_]

Thanks for posting your "mental debate". What jumped out for me was:

"... returning to a job I love..."

"...and most importantly, working with and supporting the children I love..."

"I just love being with the children."

Kendrew, I think you've just got to follow your heart! With a phased return, the possibility of a phased retirement (I'm avoiding the word "staggered" here) and the help of a cleaner, you'll be maximising your chance of the outcome you want. If it's still not possible, there'll be no what-ifs, and you can work as as a volunteer helper whilst continuing to maintain your own well-being.

Best wishes, whatever.

[Kendrew in reply to _charcoal_]

Thankyou. A perfect summary that gives hope.

[Hopeiscoming]

It's so helpful to read these posts, thank you. I am a YrR teacher working 3 days a week and was only diagnosed with PMR on 26th March. I went off sick for the last 3 days of term feeling like a failure and have just spent the 2 weeks Easter break getting my head around the need for a change of attitude and lifestyle and waiting for a significant ease of symptoms that will enable me to go back next week. I have turned from someone quite confident into someone fearful and anxious. I've just emailed school to say I'm not well enough, but still feeling bad about letting children down in a year of such disruption. All I'm reading makes me realise that 'pacing' and 'energy conservation' is very important for recovery and it's good to see where you guys are further down the line.Kendrew, I hope a return to school brings you a fresh passion for your work that is energising, not draining.

[Kendrew in reply to Hopeiscoming]

Thankyou Hopeiscoming.It's a strange thing......we spend so much time worrying about letting others down when in fact by not making good choices we actually end up letting ourselves down!

My time off sick has encompassed ALL of the pandemic....from the first lockdown in march 2020. I felt enormous guilt at not being side by side with my colleagues at first, but despite the difficulties of being a man down...school went on without me! They managed, adapted and guess what?.....I wasn't indispensable!!

I've been so fortunate to receive the support I have, both from my SLT and my colleagues. They've been very understanding about a medical condition they have found hard to understand!

Only time will tell if I can successfully return to work, but if not, I won't be weeping & wailing....I'll be celebrating all the wonderful children and times I've experienced and looking forward to, and embracing the next chapter of my life.

Thankyou for your kind wishes.

I hope you're able to find a successful work/life balance that works for you too.❤