Feel like I have wasted the week.

[singingloud]

On Tuesday my blood pressure rose to almost 200/99. Added extra medicine which then wiped me out all day Wednesday. I saw the physician assistant that afternoon and changed up the medicine for my BP.

Thursday still I didn’t accomplish much but go to work and reset the heat in the big building. Did some grocery shopping.

Today I’m having pain in my shoulders and extra tired. I know my hubby will ask what I’ve done today and it’s not much. He runs circles around every one. Love him but I feel the pressure to be active for his approval.

It’s probably my problem but I know I need to rest.

Will next week be better? Thanks

[DorsetLady PMRGCAuk volunteer]

Yes you do need to rest, and hopefully get your BP back under control.

Will next week be better - who knows, but if you pace yourself it may be, and if necessary raise your medication a little to get rid of the shoulder problem.

As for your husband - you need to sit him down and explain your health issues to him, as he obviously has no idea what’s going on,

Whether that‘s because you haven’t explained or he hasn’t grasped it I don’t know, but it’s not approval you need, it’s his understanding, sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s true.

This might help - healthunlocked.com/pmrgcauk...

[Hidden]

One oif the things I have learnt about BP is that sometime the only thing that helps is rest and relaxation. Mine was up at similar heights a couple of weeks ago but I decided to do more meditation rather than more medication.

De-stressing by ignoring others abilities to charge around, even if they are family or friends. And especially ignoring the pressure to join in others activities is the only way to manage PMR.

At the moment in the UK all of us have been essentially locked down. Those of us shielded are entering 6 weeks of social isolation. I have lost sight of what wasted day even means as apart from for a clandestine chemist and unsuccessful blood drive through I have not left the house since 23rd march and for 2 weeks before that went out twice. Like I say....rest and relaxation with mediation and meditation.

[SheffieldJane in reply to Hidden]

Why was it unsuccessful Poopadoopy?

I am being good no drive by jokes. 🤦‍♀️

[Hidden in reply to SheffieldJane]

🤣😂🤣 The silly rhrumy told me to go but hadn't put me in the system!! I have to go back next week and assured all details input now.

[SheffieldJane in reply to Hidden]

Gosh! I bet you had to breathe for a good while, with the car windows closed of course.

[Kaaswinkel72]

Sing out loud....next week will be better if YOU manage to make it better and rest...you know that... AND yes, it makes it very hard if and when you feel you need the approval of “ a loved one”.....all the very best for you, look after the beautiful , and so sensible number one👍🎶

[PMRpro Ambassador]

Have you ever considered WHY you feel such a need for approval?

psychologytoday.com/us/blog...

All you say says to me that you are creating your medical problems yourself - from high BP to PMR.

[singingloud in reply to PMRpro]

Yes we all have to take ownership of our own well-being. My personality is geared so much around being a care giver of others. I’ve always been the mothering type or grandma type and often find my satisfaction in helping my family and friends. So to know having to focus on self-care is quite the change in mind set.

My husband is the man most women would like to have. He is always building something or busy clearing out the woods of brush. He has issues of pacing it out. He is almost 70 and may never change. We often wonder if he thinks he will die tomorrow so he has to get it ALL done today! Lol!

Even his daughter feels like she can’t meet his standard. Oh but do we love him.

He is a retired Physician Assistant so in some ways he understands my PMR but there is always the question, “What are you doing today?”

So we all need balance in our lives. I’m just figuring that out now with the PMR.

Thanks everyone for your input.

[SheffieldJane in reply to singingloud]

He sounds wonderful. I think you’ll find that a lot of women define themselves the way you describe and men? Well yours is a case in point.

[SheffieldJane]

We all have weeks like this when everything conspires against us. Glad you got through it. Your hubby means well but he needs to walk in our moccasins for a bit to really understand. Exercise is much harder if you are isolating. My “go to” little walk is not permitted. Are you allowed a careful distancing walk. By far the most cheering thing to do. My father in law was taught self hypnosis by his doctor and could lower his BP at will. I tried it at my GPs yesterday ( just calm breathing really) and recorded my lowest ever BP. You might try that too.

[Hidden in reply to SheffieldJane]

It can work. I do a deep meditation and have brought it down. The problem is you can't stay in that state all the time....do have to build it in a couple of times a day.

The first thing that suffers when stressed or in pain is breathing. You have to make a concerted effort to get that air in.

[nuigini]

I'm fortunate too...my husband is my conscience. He never asks what I'm doing today, or what I did today, but does regularly say "You're doing too much". I just haven't learned to listen to him enough.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to nuigini]

Wish mine would say that! Mind you - he doesn't tell me to do more ...

[sampete]

For weeks I had high BP and racing pulse. Eventually doctor gave me Beta blockers BP is now brilliant