What activities or thought processes do you find help lift you out of the inevitable moments, days, weeks of depression brought on by our illness?
I walk, have done for years, ever since my rather dire "mid life crisis".
Depression antidotes: What activities or thought... - PMRGCAuk
Depression antidotes
Written by
HeronNS
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79 Replies
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Music every time for me if I am stuck indoors....right now in my summerhouse, looking out to my wonderful pretty garden which OH does. Daft as it might sound...if I'm feeling low I put on a definite to make me cry song...I feel better then.....and put on the happy ones. My son bought me for birthday last year a "BushClassic" speaker....wonderful, I go on Spotify free and choose all I want........that makes me happy!.....
On.days I can walk.....by water...broads ect relaxes me.....wish I could do more.....my head is there, but my body doesn't follow!!....😕
As you know I loved the Broads, you CAN'T get 'down' if you walk along the banks or go for a trip on one of the boats.
Yes, took my sister who does get "down" with RA and much younger than me, who lives alone to a lovely broad last week...beautiful a nd relaxing.......we were so jealous of the cruisers..don't think I would be able to get on and off ok, and know she wouldn't be able to. It was lovely to just sit and have lunch and watch....😊
Most of the broads are within about 10 miles of where I live....so lucky in that respect....or 20 for the sea.
I miss my boat!😢😢
I used to have a sailboat and sailed 3x a week in the summer (on a lake) MISS it sooooooooo much!
oh... dire mid life crisis...sounds like something I could use in a short story!! Hope it wasn't toooooo dire!! what do I do. I walk and I do yoga and I try to eat right. It all seems to go hand in hand. The lazier I am, the less I exercise and the more I eat the more depressed I get. And I like to remember I could have no arms and legs. That all being said, I have never been a chronically depressed person so have great sympathy and concern for those who are really depressive.
DorsetLadyPMRGCAuk volunteer
Indoors - music or reading.
Outdoors - going for a walk along preferably by the sea - even when I was struggling to walk before knee/hip ops if I could get close to sea and listen to waves lapping the shore it lifted my spirits!
Must be the Viking in me! 🛶
Oh me too, exactly this. A walk by the sea or even just sitting watching/listening to the sea. It raises my spirits and I get twitchy if I’m away from it for too long. I’d always assumed it was the Celt in me or maybe, ahem, my star sign (which is a water one), but on reflection after reading this forum I’m thinking it’s maybe the Viking in me! I’ve got the blond hair and blue eyes and my surname is a bit Norse(ish) too! 🤔
I love walking, especially by the sea, hence my several visits to various coasts for short breaks this year. Love your Dorset one! Returned from Devon last week, and miss the sea already. I live in landlocked Derbyshire, which is beautiful but hilly, and fortunately not in Whaley Bridge.
My son has a house on Derbyshire/Cheshire border, edge of Peak District - not that far from WB - so agree about the countryside.
Feel so sorry for those affected, hope it turns out as we’d all wish.
A race against time and the weather it seems for Whaley Bridge.
It’s nice when we have relatives who live in scenic places! I’m lucky with mine in Devon, and my sister in Richmond. We still visit and rent other places too. Since visiting Dorset for the first time last year, and again this Spring, we’ll be back in the Autumn!
Good!
oh I would LOVE to have the sea nearby! But Minnesota has some lovely lakes and rivers!
It does indeed. My best friend and flatmate (also Scottish) from University married a Minnesotan and lives in Minneapolis. I’ve spent many happy visits with her cycling round and swimming or canoeing in the many lakes and going walks along the Mississippi River. It is stunning. I know she does miss the sea though and when she comes back on visits she always heads to the North West Highlands where her ancestors came from.
Ps...I'm also a crossword fanatic.....can't think of anything else while solving
those......mindfulness.....
I used to do jigsaw puzzles with my son. Once I discovered sudoku I lost interest in crossword puzzles although I still follow along after hubby and finish them for him, or fix his mistakes 
I think I must enjoy patterns.
Me too!
I love to sing and dance, and try to go out to sing karaoke at least once per month. Getting together with a group of people is very energizing for me, so being involved in social activities helps. Any physical activities that I can engage in, especially if they were something I did pre-PMR, helps me mentally feel better and that I can still participate in life in that way.
If I find that if my mood is low I will consume a sativa strain of marijuana that greatly helps by generating an uplifting, calm, and sometimes creative feeling. Not for everyone though.
Lastly I engage in talk therapy with my therapist who knows me well, and who is very skilled at addressing such challenges. At times, if I’m not really feeling myself, I will spend time alone until it passes....something I discussed with my hubby early on.
I’ve had depression after the birth of my first child, so I’m aware of how devastating this can be. Medication is an option for some folks as well, especially when other interventions don’t help. Please don’t suffer in silence.
I find talking to you guys really helps! Nature everytime. I have a Laurel tree outside my window that I have hung with bird feeders. It is inhabited by Goldfinches and Bullfinches amongst other birds. It’s like having my own Aviary. They don’t mind me at all.
A change - like the theatre - lasts me ages.
I am prone to the glass half empty - so I have to swerve my thinking.
Yes, chatting with folks on this forum is very helpful. I also enjoy live theatre and take in a play every few months....usually a comedy as laughter is such a brilliant distraction from all the woes.
• in reply toSheffieldJane
Thanks for the tip. Hubby is taking me to a movie TONIGHT!
• in reply to
What are you going to see?
All my life nature has been my first love and I return to it when I need comfort. I can't wait to be able to walk in it again, otherwise I get great pleasure from growing and harvesting fruit and veg, and propergating and nurturing plants of any kind. My greenhouse is my retreat.
When I'm really low I turn to colour. I love bright colours and seing how placing them together changes them. This usually means crochet and patchwork and if I can be making something for someone so much the better.
Then there is this forum, the friendships, the light hearted exchanges, the sharing of experiences and possibly the chance to help someone.
Frankly, I think depression must lift itself which recently happened to me about 6 weeks ago. In the interim, I watch movies. medical shows like "Mystery Diagnosis" "Untold stories of the ER" subtitled European crime and espionage series I am fortunate to get in the early morning, read. I do watch the stock market and news. I will not watch Donald Trump on TV .
I know I am no longer depressed when I want to buy new clothes and feed the birds and watch my backyard become an airport. The problem is when I am not depressed and will never take an antidepressant, I overdo. I am in physical therapy after years of exercise, but it is like starting over and I am older.. My therapist told me my muscles are still strong; he cannot change my anatomy (severe scoliosis thoracic to lumbar with nerve involvement), and not visble, when dressed. But he can improve stamina , endurance and strength. So that is the focus.
After a fall down stairs on top of PMR, I was able to get myself up, grab ice backs and get back up the stairs; no broken bones, but left knee problem and a literal dent in my thigh has made stairs very difficult; one step with both feet at a time. The thigh is more of a cosmetic issue for me. Have been plagued by recurring skin cancer from a life of sun exposure and so always to dermatologist.
But when you can escape your depressed mind by taking it somewhere else into a riveting book, movie or TV series, it helps. I put away any photos or memorabilia that makes me sad or may trigger a bad memory. Do not drink alcohol or take tranquilizers. I have found a CBD oil that is a subliingual tincture that makes me feel like I'm in paradise just before bed; feel all muscles relax, mind calms , breathing very regular, and sleep. Important with prednisone which wakes me up to eat in middle of the night. So this product really works for me; not all are the same.
Depression sucks if I may be a little vulgar and it seems to come with prednisone in some people, chronic physical pain, having to be sedentary. My daughter said, "Don't worry, Mom, you'll bounce back, you always do." And I thought of that a lot. It helped. Eventually she was right.
Everyone says "no sweets"; well, if I know it will make me happier, I am going to eat it.
But none of us are out of the woods b/c of risk of relapse.
In 2012, my husband of 37 years died of multiple system atrophy- "Parkinson type." 6 weeks later, I had surgery for a hyperparathyroid disorder which controls calcium metabolism. I was depressed for 15 months from grieving and waiting for a normal calcium level to come into alignment with rest of my biochemistry. Bounced back. By itself. And now this.
Do what you want to do, and avoid what you don't want to do.
That's the best I can do. Take care; hoped it was some help.
you will bounce back is a good thought!! I will use it and I too will NOT watch that person
Christophene, Just read your post... we have a lot in common w/ PMR and scoliosis w/ nerve involvement. I had major surgery at age 15 to correct and now have degenerative disc disease and a curve below all my fusions. In the past 6 mo it's gotten a lot harder to spend much time on my feet. Have you had any corrective surgery? With the PMR/GCA stiffness and fatigue, I'm getting quite down. Reading these posts helps. Thanks.
Mine is walking, by water if at all possible and in woodland. If I lived nearer to the coast it would be walking by the sea. I love the time I spend out on my own and passing the time of day with the local dog walkers
Yes, walking , or even just sitting on a bench near to water if I have to get a lift to a good spot, by the sea , a river , or even in a park by a fountain or water feature , Water is the music Nature gives us to soothe the spirit.
I have a long history of depression, treated with medication and talking therapies....I thought I was better! But after 3.5 yrs of PMR, an d a knee replacement which has not been totally successful, (two tendons near the knee have an ‘itis’ I am feeling low again. Am having to rest for the tendonitis, cannot be on my feet for longer than 5 mins otherwise the tendons are aggravated. I used to love playing tennis..Can’t do it! Took up bowls last year....can’t even do that!
I try to eat right. I have food intolerances which can make me depressed if I succumb to eating certain things.
So at present I’m feeling low, and cannot pull myself out of it.
Trouble is when you are depressed the things which you used to enjoy are not enjoyable. I love reading but that’s not working. I have become obsessed with sudoku, online rummy and Wordscapes. But I hate that I am obsessed. Time to see GP methinks? Writing all this down is making me work things out!
Sounds like you've always liked vigorous exercise. Perhaps I'm lucky in that I always found sports like tennis too much for me, even when I was a teenager. I found chasing after the ball really hard to do, and for some reason my racquet always seemed to have a big hole in it 😆🤣 So it's not so hard for me not to be able to be doing sports now. But I found even more sedentary occupations, like needlepoint (tapestry), are harder to do now because of weak shoulders. I do appreciate being able to walk. If I couldn't I'd have to find some other way to be outdoors.
Yesterday evening while I watched a tv show I ironed for nearly an hour and at the end could hardly move to hang up the blouses. I really shouldn't let things build up like that. Now that I have no clothesline, wrinkles don't blow out in the wind and I refuse to use the global warming machine, aka clothes dryer.
My OH only wears cotton shirts...he does hovering, washing up etc...so ironing down to me...2 shirts..sit down 15 mins or more, then 2 more...and I iron very quick!....years ago when I was in hospital OH only ironed the fronts of his shirts!......so......that part I do the best....only iron very few things......
Sorry you're feeling low at the moment. I know what you mean when you say when you are really depressed none of these things give you pleasure, that is so true. To be unable to walk much would be depressing.
I remember when I had to take early retirement and was really lost, I sat and stared out of the window for ages, then one day a mouse peaked out from under some leaves and this reminded me just how much I enjoyed nature. This little spark of interest helped me back into the light.
Wishing you all the best.
Yes just starting to write down what makes things worse does help to get things clear in your mind , and possibly see a little light in tiny stepped solutions.
If you feel it's time to get help , or time to talk with a therapist again it's always good to listen to your mind , just as we need to listen to our bodies , and not delay .
I wrote my top ten go to things to keep the Depression at bay in the replies further down the post .
They can be adapted to whatever level you can cope with on any given day as I know myself sometimes the Fatigue, both Mental or Physical , can make even the smallest things feel too hard , so they might give you ideas you would like.
Don't worry about " little obsessions" when you are suffering , if doing Sudoku for hours gives you welcome distraction or mental peace don't feel guilty for the time you use on it.
It's not time wasted , it's time well used .
Never feel guilty for giving your mind and body time to heal above doing the daily tasks.
When you are low you need to forget about what you think you should be doing but what brings you peace.
If it makes you build up a feeling of relaxation and comfort that you can use as a spring board to work on getting back to other things , a " little obsession" can be a good thing.
Take care , and if you ever need to post for a little mental support not just practical PMR help your have many Faraway Friends on the Forum who will be hear to listen. xx
• in reply toMary63
You are so right! When you are in deep depression the things that normally help you either cannot focus on or it just does not hold your focus.
A friend bought me an adult colouring book and coloured pens................I can lose myself for hours in the Enchanted Forest series.
I also take it out on the weeds in the raised beds..............with my radio on quietly.
A couple of years ago I did a lot of Zentangle, loved it!
I always bought people colouring books if they were in hospital , even before they became trendy ( and now wildly expensive!) People would look at me like I was deranged , until I went back and they had finally got bored and unselfconscious enough to try it.
My family have always relaxed by doing colouring in , or " Art Therapy".
I like that name.............so now I have an answer to those who say 'colouring in' with that tone of voice, which I just ignore.
• in reply tojinasc
I have been coloring, so that is great therapy for me. One of my problems is I have been on bed rest for 11 weeks and can't get up except with crutches. Hopefully when I have hip replacement in 3 weeks that will helpa lot. I'm normally a very active person and it's been hard to be down.
1. Communing with Nature , even if it's after a lift just to a local Park , especially near Water as it's the music Nature gives us to soothe the Soul.
2. Books , if I'm not upto Reading them , I happily listen to an Audio Book by a good narrator , like Stephen Fry , or old Radio Plays on YouTube.
3. Films / Box sets , particularly old ones I have found memories of sharing with others and have an element of humour or nostalgia.
4. Walking , if I know I can't do much I get a lift or bus to a spot I know I can have the most enjoyment in from the surroundings over a short distance.
Other exercise also fits in with this enjoyable a little of what you love and as often as you can does you good principle too.
5. Art Therapy , or what we used to call colouring in and doodling!!
It works so well and you don't have to be Picasso or even keep in the lines to enjoy it.
6. Thinking but Not Thinking!
Just sitting alone and allowing myself to daydream , think , imagine, anything and everything , that has no practical purpose at all.
A minimum of 15 minutes a day of quiet thought , silly or uplifting, does the world of good.
7. Music , to sit and breath too , or old favourites to sit , eyes closed , and enjoy happy memories from , or music to gently exercise or dance to ( even in my chair) , or live music when I can manage it.
8. Hobbies , of any sort , to whatever level you are up to , each day do a hobby for a while , even if the only thing you can manage that day is reading a book or watching a programme on the thing you like to do.
9. Phoning or writing to an old friend , those catch up calls , emails or snail mail letters . Remembering old times often do more to boost your mood than a conversation every day with the same people.
10. Whatever works! Be it therapy , a soak in the bath , cooking , enjoying a treat , exercise , listening to comedy on the radio, playing cards , anything and everything no matter how boring or bizarre , whatever I can manage that I enjoy and fancy that day , or pops into my head that gives me a smile . Making time for that everyday is the most important thing !
Helps to keep the stress and depressing feeling that come from any situation or illness accumulating and turning into a Mental Health Issue.
That's my Top Ten anyway😘😘😘😍😍😍😊
Love all what you have written, but if I got in a bath I`d never get out again...had shower cubicle these last 7 years with pred....wonderful...
I know what you mean , I'm a shower cubicle kid too!😋
I try to get outside if possible, a walk and observing nature. A bit of tree hugging too🦉🐝🕸🦚
I've been counting the butterflies in the garden for the past few days. Yesterday the buddleia was covered with Painted Ladies of which there are so many in the UK this year. It really lifts the spirits to see such beauty - well worth the struggle to get downstairs to my garden.
I sing.
I sing the old songs my grandparents and parents taught us when we were kids, pop music from you youth, showtunes, pieces from my years in choruses and choirs. Scales and exercises learned from coaches. Songs from The American Songbook...
The dog sings along. If I'm up to it, we dance. That never fails to make me laugh.
Of course, if there's an audience, or if it's early morning or late night, we keep it down.
It cheered me up just reading that and seeing it in my head!
I play and sing at a weekly singalong at a retirement home. Preparing for it means I have songs in my head for days. I always say if I have a beautiful song in my head there is no room for anything else!
Respectfully: I am polar opposite of being depressed, however, I respect greatly that it is a very debilitating and powerful thing that for some cannot be fixed with a song.
Oh, you are absolutely right. I was talking about having a spell of "the blues".
There's situational depression - where we're angry, disappointed, frustrated or whatever due to passing events. And we get over it in a relatively short period of time. We adjust, move on, and find our way again.
And then there's depression that's so black and suffocating that virtually nothing else exists in the world at all. And we're helpless to do anything about it. We're isolated, lost, and overwhelmed.
I'm not going to make believe I'm an expert, but one thing I know is that useless suffering is useless.
Depression isn't any different from any other illness. Sometimes, an illness will pass on it's own with an extra measure of self care. Sometimes, we need treatment.
Where ever one is on the scale, get help from a qualified medical professional when needed.
• in reply toGOOD_GRIEF
Glad you pointed out that some depression definitely needs help to be coped with. Thx.
• in reply toGOOD_GRIEF
Great input
Busy hands for me!
I sew, quilts mostly but sometimes I dabble with other bits and bobs like making memory bears, and I've just rediscovered knitting for those insomniac nights too.
Also, we have a little narrowboat, we don't have to go far, just bobbing along our local canal soothes the soul like nothing else,
Bobbing along a canal sounds like bliss 💕
It's wonderful!
I start my day with the birds and squirrels. The squirrels are always waiting for me to put a little something out for them. Then coffee, spiritual readings and maybe journaling. I walk every day except when there is lightning or ice. I walk for 1 -2 hours. I love my nap!! Those 4 things are pretty non negotiable for me.
I love quilting, do even when I am down I try to do some. If not actually quilting I like visiting fabric shops!!
Me too, I've been looking at all the posts on Facebook and Instagram about the festival of quilts this weekend with more than a little envy, sadly I can't manage that yet but I will eventually! I started a new quilt instead! I also have one partly quilted on my mid arm but can't finish the quilting on one day now so will do 1 or maybe 2 passes when I feel up to it, it's like a full body workout so I've learned to be careful with that
Hi yellowbluebell, I love to walk around fabric and yarn shops! Also bookstores and libraries always put me at peace.
I love bookshops as well. I make quilts for a living after giving up.work after husband had neuro surgery but it's still a hobby in my mind!! I have dragged poor scats on many a fabric shop trip but we also have cake!!
Keeping the mind occupied - something creative and with color! I also find outdoors necessary. A balance of being with friends so I don't dwell on troubles and quiet time so I can rest. I like guided meditation because it keeps my mind where it needs to be, not on the troubles caused by illness.
It must be lovely to own a boat...the nature and the freedom, also the silence!....may go tomorrow somewhere now talking about it for lunch!....
Was it a boat on our broads you had?
Yes! Moored in Horning. xx
Bet you saw the Mississippi showboat a few times!....Lovely area.....my son and his wife Kayaked from Salhouse to there recently...wish I was that fit!...
So lovely and relaxing when away form the busy areas.....Wroxham!...
Good for me now to just relax when not having a good day....with the damn fatigue!...
Bet you have some wonderful memories to cherish....
We live near a cemetery on a hill which is a lovely place to walk. Big old trees and lots of walkways. Even when everything feels impossible the sense of lives lived is there.
When oh could barely walk on his spindley legs we would walk on the flat pathways with the autumn leaves falling on us and in the winter the snowdrops. By the time the blossom and bluebells arrived he was strong enough to walk all round the pathways.
Sometimes though you just have to sit and let time pass doing whatever you wish to do.
Meet a friend for coffee just to meet (not to talk @ PMR). Shopping if you like it is good. Keeping busy and active really helps plus music. Try David Fray & 3 others playing Bach’s BMV piano concerto. Will definitely cheer you up.
I have suffered from depression and it's partner anxiety for most of my adult life.
I was born near the sea and always find solace when I am near the seaside. Unfortunately, don't get there very often.
I like taking care of my neighbours dog. It gives me motivation to go out for short walks. Luckily I have two neighbours with dogs, a puggle and a chihuahua. I love playing with them too 
We have a cat but he prefers my OH to me. He only allows me to. pet him when he's hungry.
Netflix and Amazon have also helped as if really down I can find a box set to binge on
Meditation is my panacea. It's like a reset button for the brain.
Chocolate! I will leave that there 🤗😂
For me it’s Garden Centres - so much to look at, indoors or out & always stop for a coffee too.
We went to David Austin Roses yesterday 🌹 it was just beautiful......
Blearyeyed• in reply to
Love garden centres , especially with a good selection of roses , it's like spending time in a beautiful well stocked garden that you don't have to tend yourself !
Plus you can get a coffee at the end of it , maybe I could live in one , if I dressed up like a gnome they may not notice😋😁😘
HeronNS wow. thank you for the question! what a wonderful lot of responses. This is something to print out and save. And refer to it when the need hits!! NOT unlike the time I had to print a list of excuses by the phone for when as a young mother, a friend would call and say, "Are you doing anything tonight?" And fool that I was, assuming an invitation to something swell, would answer, "No, why?" And she would say, "Oh good then you can watch my child!" Ha ! fool me 5 times.....and soon I had a LIST of excuses by the phone!!! (don't even remind me I could have learned how to say NO a lot earlier!)
Not quite the same thing, but we used to get a lot of wrong numbers for several years after we moved into our house. I think our number was close to that for a couple of businesses. I remember the time the phone rang as I was nursing my small infant, someone looking for Dairy Queen. 🍦🍰 I resisted the obvious temptation and merely said they had reached the wrong number.....
hahahaha laughed right out loud at that one!!!
Since pmr is a multipedded ( made up that word 😀) beast, with many unexpected shoes to drop, currently angular chelitis (sp?), causing depression for me at times, the biggest help has been in knowing this ( the shoe dropping) can happen. Then I’m not quite so upset or recover from the downs quicker.This will always be a rocky road, I guess. That’s why, as I said in another post, I value the good days and hold firmly to the belief I will have a preponderance of them. How I would love to have a sea to sit by. 🤗
I, too, walk. To-day at the park had the best, longest walk since diagnosis. I aim each week to go a little further, but if cannot that is OK. It raises my spirits when I achieve. If I am a little "down" I think of an upcoming pleasurable event. Such as going to the Gulf for a week in November, or something as simple as looking forward to entertaining a couple of friends. Of course I always have reading material available. Sometimes just putting my body in motion to do a mundane household chore helps. And as I am doing now, watching the hummingbirds, as well as the other backyard culprits, is always a spirits lifter. Hope you have a lovely day.
The sun on my face helps me. 🌞
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