Depression

[LittleJane]

I thought I had it in perspective. Finding out as much as I can and talking to others. I went to bed last night feeling rational and reasonable. Woke this morning feeling depressed and low and pointless 😢 Hoping the day gets better, especially as the weather has improved a bit 🌥️

[Rugger]

Oh dear, I'm sorry to read this. You said that you understand all about the stages of grief, but it's very different when it's happening to you, isn't it?

Could you give yourself a day off from us and go out with your husband? - not for a run, I hasten to add, but maybe a run out in the car to see something that will take your mind off PMR for a few hours?

Hoping you feel differently soon. ☀️

[LittleJane in reply to Rugger]

Thank you for your wisdom. I was thinking the same. Hubby running tomorrow (in training for a half marathon next month)

[PMRpro Ambassador]

It happens - whatever the underlying cause. And you are in a slightly strange place at the moment - on holiday is nice but you are away from your usual environment so when this happens you can't go in the kitchen and beat 7 bells out of a loaf of bread or mixing a cake. Or a book off the shelf.

If your husband isn't running today, find a nice place for lunch maybe, or I like a cafe overlooking the sea for a pot of tea and perhaps a cake? And for me - a fish 'n' chip lunch always hits the spot!

[Charlie1boy in reply to PMRpro]

Had the best fish and chips ever whilst in the Lake District last Saturday. The batter was to die for!!!

[LittleJane]

Thanks, we have already decided to this 🙂It is overcast but not raining (yet)

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to LittleJane]

If you are in a cafe - you can laugh at the rain!

[LittleJane in reply to PMRpro]

We are in a cafe 🙂 it is dry but the wind is bitter

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to LittleJane]

That is the nice thing here - my village doesn't get much wind as it is tucked into a corner. I just took myself out for luch - 18C, 90% humidity and some sun. OK if you are sitting!!

[Sillydogsmum]

Coming to terms with the diagnosis of PMR, an overtiring holiday, the unexpected energy dumps, the chemical effect of the Pred have all conspired against you. However this will all improve as you get used to managing the PMR rather than it managing you. If possible try to think of it as a simple 'downer' rather than as a depression. Most of us are able to live a normal life as long as we adjust things to try to avoid falling in a hole........not that we always succeed........🫡

[LittleJane in reply to Sillydogsmum]

Thank you so much. All this insight is so helpful. I anticipate improvement when back home but I am ok.

[Sillydogsmum]

In many ways it is similar to PMT of my younger years. I always coped better if I planned for it rather than making a complete horlicks of things if I didnt...😜

[piglette]

Whatever you do don’t listen to the news, that will make you even more depressed!

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to piglette]

I gave up while in the UK this summer - it is certainly a lot more peaceful without it!!

[piglette in reply to PMRpro]

More fun too. Recently I have been quite suicidal getting a whiff of it!

[LittleJane]

That's because it is slanted towards the negative. On the rare occasion there is a 'feel good' item it gets pushed in at the end for a couple of minutes. It's no wonder people get despondent and the young people get scared 😟

[Angelsmummy]

morning littlejane,hope holiday is good?Regarding depression feelings,there are always good days,then bad days,the nature of the beast I am afraid.When I first lost the sight in eye through GCA not being diagnosed ,I hit rock bottom,so many feelings,how could I look after OH,animals,be the matriarch of the family and find time to come to terms with the “ new” me?Bit by bit I got there,but it wasn’t until I finally joined this forum that I found a way to cope with all the different cycles of emotions that I was going through.I still have shocking days ,real low feelings that sometimes frighten me,but I get on this forum and there is ALWAYS something to make me realise I am not alone in this.Gone are the days of 60 mg when I could take on the world,now I am on the road of very slow tapering which gives me different feelings and of course worry.I just try and put on my sensible head( don’t think I have ever had a sensible head!)😏 and realise that it is normal to have these feelings,part of the process.Try and think of things that make you happy,mine are my beautiful animals,Indian music,and the hedgehogs that turn up every night for their evening feed.As the song goes” Don’t worry,be happy” ! Have a candy floss for me eh?x😜👍🦮🐈‍⬛🐕🐦🦜

[LittleJane in reply to Angelsmummy]

Thank you so much for taking the time to post this for me, I appreciate it. I am hoping to improve again once we get home. The weather hadn't been the best and it is cold. My symptoms have flared after a day out yesterday. I am reluctant to increase dose of Pred but think I must in order to have some quality of life for the rest of the holiday, for hubby's sake. Even typing this message feels like I am digging the garden this morning. PMR wasn't on the horizon when we booked the holiday last year 😞

[Angelsmummy in reply to LittleJane]

I totally understand,the hardest part of GCA PMR is accepting it ,it turns lives upside down and not just the sufferer.Bloody awful disease.Please be kind to yourself,don’t be afraid of PRED.We all want to get to zero eventually but as DL and PMRpro say,the disease dictates when it is ready to be free of pred not us.You are not alone,we are all here for you ,as everybody is here for me and got me through some bloody awful times.Hang in there girl,nice and slowly wins the race.As for the weather,awful rain we have had but bright warm sunshine this morning in Suffolk.Grass too wet to edge flower beds so an excuse to chill a bit more today.Love and kind thoughts,xx😜👍☔️☔️☀️☀️😱xx

[LittleJane in reply to Angelsmummy]

Everyone is so kind. Hubby is wary, I had a very bad time on a forum years ago. I got trolled and stalked and developed PTSD and anxiety as a result. I'm ok now but I understand his concerns.

[Angelsmummy in reply to LittleJane]

Can understand where you are coming from but as DL and PMRpro said,if anybody tried that on here they would soon get sorted out!DONT get involved in any private posts unless you are absolutely 100% I only have one and would trust her with my life!Must be sick,twisted weirdos to prey on people who are ill eh?LOVE them to try it on with me!Hell hath no fury as a GCA er scorned!🤣🤣🤣🤣😜😜🌼xx

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to LittleJane]

I fully understand that - I was trolled publicly and very nastily on another forum where it was sorted very fast but it also happened here via Chat from another member of this forum who basically felt his nose was being put out of joint. I reported him after the first attempt, only to discover another person had thought she could and should deal with it happening to her because she was an admin. It did really leave its mark for months so I won't allow anything public without reporting it to everyone I can, repeatedly. Private trolls are up to you - report it to HU immediately from the Chat function so HU see it, they can't unless you "ask them in" but they are usually pretty good about trolls. Unfortunately, they can have another go under another name but just report and block them and forget about it.

[Zebedee44]

hi, it’s gloriously sunny here in East Sussex today and I’m green with envy that you are in the IOW which was just over the water from my home town of Portsmouth. It’s a magical island. A day pass for the bus is a good investment but don’t get stuck at the end of the line as I did when I missed the last bus from Alan Bay where the multicoloured rocks make such colourful sand. My German penpal and I had to start walking and hoping for a late passer by to get us to a bus stop.

I am the same age as you now and my PMR changed my life at 60. I already suffered with depression and anxiety and PTSD so it was the last straw and I feared being in wheelchair while the doctor messed about with assorted pain relief. I was pretty foul to my loved ones, very tearful and angry that my life was being so much changed. But my beautiful pony brought me such joy that I had to learn to manage life with PMR and pred in it. I was far too stubborn to let it win.

No joke, this forum and the wise and very genuine people here have been my support group. I understand your husband being cautious for you, but for me this forum and the people I have met (through the ether) have held my hand throughout. You don’t have to get involved with anything you don’t like, just scroll through the posts and “like” or comment if you want to. PMRPro and Dorset Lady will soon jump to protect you from unsupportive or unwelcome replies, they are our “aunties”.

I hope you are enjoying the sunshine today, have a good one, Chrissie aka Zebedee44

[LittleJane in reply to Zebedee44]

Chrissie thank you, what a lovely post. I am in a terrible muddle today. Never mind brain fog, I can't seem to find my brain today 🧠

[Zebedee44]

I call those days my “failure to launch” days. I hope you get over this stage soon. Do you think you have been trying to do too much? We all do! Take a chair with you if you are supporting your husband in his run tomorrow or better still stay home and recover xx

[LittleJane in reply to Zebedee44]

Yes I expect so, I usually do 🙄Hubby's half marathon isn't until after we get back home. He is doing his training runs whilst on the IOW 🏃

We have just had a slow wander down to the bay 🙂