Warning: Please note, the link is not related to having PMR/GCA, it is related to growing older and dealing with some of what, growing old encompasses. If you have no interest in the subject matter, please don't click the link.
157 Replies
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🤦🏻♀️🏃🏻♀️🧗🏻♀️🚴🏻♀️ 🤦🏻♀️
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👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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Sorry!!! What's all that rubbish symbols mean!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mine is hands clapping... I'm applauding Mrs Nails comment, although I not 100% sure what she's saying... You'd have to ask her, I guess! 😊
Rubbish... really? Hahahahahahahahaha
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You girls are taking over the barmyness! Good luck on your journey! Me! Already there! Have been there for long time Matey! You keep Rocking!
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Awe, we may be taking over, but we love ya PD!!!! You keep ROCKING too!
❤️ ❤️❤️
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Well Gawd help us all Mel !! It's that "Talking Head" song again!!! I must be on the road to somewhere!!.... But F.... knows where!!! (something like that)
You're not alone I often wondered what they were. With my fuzzy vision they look like little hearts ready for transplant! Didn't think they would be tho.
I can see a heart & smiley etc! What the hell the others are!! Well! But I'm a grumpy old geezer who's still catching up on all the stuff that I missed while doing something else!...... Watched Hyde Park Music Festival 2017 last night on Sky Art! Most impressed!... Loved "The Pixies" with their "Where is my Mind"! Certainly rings a bell that one!!
We packed Sky Sport up for 6 months. Got a good deal just before Christmas & the bloody dish packed in with most channels over Christmas it'self! Now sorted. I did miss my sport! Sky Arts is a new adventure for myself really enjoying it.
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I think you're doing GREAT! Hangin out here with all us "babes!" You got something goin for ya! xxxx
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It's nice to know I can still hang out!.. Long as I don't get arrested!!!
All respect to you for going into one of those places. Sales assistants have been looking at me like that for years, I went grey in my 30s and have always been one size larger than stocked by any 'normal' shop.
My worst experience was having to buy my daughter a record for her birthday about 15 years ago. She told me it was very avant garde and I probably wouldn't find it in HMV (still flourishing then). I wrote down the name of the song and the singer and duly went into a hyper-trendy record shop in Berwick Street and said to the young man 'have you got Blah-de-Blah by So And So?' He already looked very embarrassed at having to serve a woman his Granny's age, but then he started barking a barrage of questions - 'Is it house?' 'Is it scratch?' are two I remember out of many, all of which meant nothing to me. He looked so contemptuous, I couldn't stand it any more. I gave up and went to another shop a couple of doors away.There another nice young man who obviously loved and valued his Granny found me what I wanted without being patronising and dismissive, thus restoring my faith in the younger generation. I have wondered about Mr Trendygit sometimes recently, as many of those small independent record have closed, because most young people these days tend not to buy DVDs, but prefer streaming services.
I remember buying some tickets for band I discovered on the internet who were playing locally, just a few years ago. A skinny youth in the shop selling the tickets said "Are they for you, they are very loud". I said yes that's fine, I like loud bands because I am going deaf.
I do admire you. I had to give up very loud music many years ago - can't bear pubs or restaurants where there's rock music playing. I suppose I have to admit to being an old fogey in some ways.
I still love a really loud gig, it somehow makes me happy and chilled for a few days after, however, I have given up the mosh pit and these days try to find somewhere were I can sit down occasionally or lean on a wall!!! (and only go to a couple a year.)
I have said to more than one young thing "Someday, you'll be old. But only if you're lucky. At this rate, your luck is gonna run out before you hit 30."
Melissa, you've made this 'femme sans couleur' smile and chuckle for the first time today - thank you! Don't you just love the French for 'grey-haired (old) woman'?
What gets me is that there are an awful lot of young women who think it is cool to spend a small fortune to get the same colour hair I've had naturally for years whereas here almost every older woman colours their hair either a very dark colour, even black, or a sort of marmalade colour that doesn't take well to grey.white hair. In a week the white shows through - just like the dark shows through on the young ones. So very strange...
I couldn't take my eyes off my dental nurse when she died her hair grey. I don't get out much and this was the first time I'd seen this. She must have thought I was so rude. I'm a trend setter, who knew!
My young hairdresser in our village salon has also coloured her own hair grey/silver. She says it’s very fashionable and people pay good money to have my hair colour!! Who knew? I think I need to get out more.....🤦♀️
I've been using John Freida shampoo and conditioner from blonds since my hair actually was blond. Now's it's mixed silver and gold, thanks to good old Johnny's concoctions.
My sister is peeved because she goes to a NYC salon and pay $600 for the same color, and I pay $6/tube. (Her head is thick and curly. Mine is fine and wavy. Maybe that's why I can get away with it.)
I`ve been grey since my late 30s, never dyed it....had a friend who has always dyed hers....she was a hairdresser she said to me once, my husband says I must always dye the grey, to which I replied (he`s bald) hope you told him he must grow his back then!.....
Don`t know how people have to patience every few weeks to keep colouring it....and some look so harsh.....
Ditto, ditto, ditto!! My first silvery bits were there in my teens - and until I was 30 looked like very expensive streaks - I was always being asked where I got them done! Then the balance was too overwhelming and for 10 years I did colour it until, as you say, the roots peeked through after a week. I couldn't find a lighter colour I like so said sod it and left it. Saves a fortune...
Something very strange has happened to the shape of sweatpants . I went through about 270 on ASOS before I found a pair for my OH’s New Pilates initiative, that didn’t make him look like a wine glass or revealed his underwear. The only plus side was the comedy ones were several times more expensive than the “ normal ones” I finally found. What is it with low slung waists? Who wants to see all that?
Okay... YOU made ME chuckle! And yes, the wineglass look!!! Ballooning out at waist and hips and then tight at the ankles! What's up with the cropped around the ankle bullshit? I want "wide legs" so I can wear after knee surgery! 😡
Try Converse. That’s where I finally landed. He’s very tall and they are long enough. Glad I made you chuckle, I was going boz eyed looking at the screen, better than being patronised though ay ?
YES! That's what I bought... Track pants! Three times! The 1st of Adidas, had pink and white stripes down a wide leg... so cute! The 2nd pair had the word Adidas down the wide, snap leg and the Reebok, were a bellbottom leg, with the word Reebok down the side.. all wide leg, all comfy (except the one pair which was weird Polyester material) all should have been my size or LARGER , all too small and way too low... What's a girl to do? 🤯
I buy all my exercise clothing from Lidl cheap, good quality and fits a short round figure really well. (long body from crotch to waist) It is smart and I have been asked by a trendy at Pilates where I bought it.
LOL Melissa - this type of 'kill me now' experience is almost the exclusive reserve of sports stores. Mindless, charmless, hopeless is how to sell sportswear it would seem. Run far, run fast to Tesco or Sainsburys men's section for snuggly well-sized sweatpants.
All my life I found sleeves were too short. A dressmaker even told me my arms were two inches longer than average. Suddenly, it seems overnight, a few years ago everything started to come with terrifically long sleeves. Because, I'm told, all the young women are skinny giantesses with long limbs. But, hey, wait a minute, there are still many many millions of us who didn't suffer from a lack of Vitamin K2 when we were growing and the adulterants in our foods (there were many by post war years) didn't cause us to grow into reeds. We have money, why is it so hard to find clothes for us?
Seriously, I paid a ridiculous amount of money for both pair of Adidas... The Reebok I got on sale, half price, but they still were not cheap! I just want something, warm and comfy and baggy in the leg!
Pretty poor quality control then, although I wasn't aware that Asians in general were longer in the limbs than Caucasians. I'd have thought the opposite, actually. First noticed it when I needed to make an emergency raincoat purchase and couldn't shop around. Columbia jacket, so good brand name. I had to buy a large size as the medium wouldn't go around me. Who wants a "snug" raincoat?! And the sleeves are about three inches too long. I sometimes wonder who they are being made for, and then I look at young women like my physiotherapist and understand.
Quite - but the sizing and cut are purely arbitrary, not related to the end user. That would account for the difference in sizing between different stores - which I can understand to some extent, but years ago I had 2 pairs of trousers from Laura Ashley which were labelled as different UK sizes. I also wanted another pair that they had in a 14 (nominally the same size as one of the pairs) but I was sneered at for asking if they had it in a 16. So I showed her the 2 pairs I had that fitted, one a 12, one a 14 but this one that was a 14 was smaller than the 12. She really didn't get my complaint!
A couple of years ago I bought two pairs of jeans, same store, same time, same brand, same size, same decoration on the pocket, identical except one was blue and one was black. I tried on the blue ones and they fit so I bought them both. When several weeks later, and having washed them so therefore unable to return even for credit, I finally wore the black ones they turned out to be two inches longer than the blue ones. My days of making alterations are past so I just roll them up or let them fall fashionably over my shoes, but even the label claims they are the same size, with the same waist and leg lengths. I bet there are loads of disaffected exploited garment makers who deliberately sabotage things in subtle ways.
That is something that happens a lot - I don't think I've had more than 2 pairs of trousers in my life I didn't have to shorten (apart from capri length ones of course) so I'm never surprised!
I have the opposite problem. Try finding women's trousers with a 34" inseam. If you can find them, they're also big in the seat and the thighs. I'm not, even on pred.
Gosh....I know your pain. With my recent weight loss I gleefully skipped into the stores to purchase new “activewear” (although I suspect I’ll be a lot more “inactive” in the new threads). I spent what felt like hours in the change room with poor results. Being only 5’2”, every pair of sweats was 4-5 inches too long.
All the while I’m listening to the horrid rap music. Horrendous lyrics that take women backwards and disprespect everyone else.....you can’t even dance to it!!
I was lucky enough to find a bright pink one piece Michael Kors bathing suit marked down to $40, for our upcoming trip to Miami. Couldn’t bear to go back to the change room to try it on so just took my chances and bought it. I was delighted that it fit perfectly!! So at least I've got something nice out of the whole experience.
Thanks for capturing yet another adventure with your infectious humour. The good thing is older adults (over 55) are growing into the largest cohort out there. Strength in numbers my grey-haired friend!! 👵🏻💪🏼
I hear ya... RE - "inactive wear! Being 5'10, pants are always 4-5 inches too short for me! Oooo, the bathing suit sounds fab, I love MK! Enjoy Miami! I lived between Miami and Ft Lauderdale (Pembroke Pines) for like 30 years... Moved here (UK) 8 years ago.
I wasn't drinking anything when I read your perfect description of shopping, So no spitting but a lot of laughing. The music, the sneering, the sizing... yes,yes, yes. The only thing you missed is when the "sales associate" leans towards you in a kindly manner and calls you "dear". Rant on dear Melissa.
Melissa, my OH (5' 4') bought men's PJ's that are 100% cotton and had them shorten. Ok for around the house but not outside, but, hey, we don't go out that often. OH finds them extremely comfortable.
Where in Texas? My mother was from "Clarksville," East Texas... and we had family in Dallas and Marshall. We'd travel (3 days) by Trailways bus from Massachusetts to Texas.... 😳
I am often the last to comment being in the 'wrong' part of the globe and waking up to your amazing posts when almost everyone has had a turn ! You are a FAB blogger to read first thing in the morning - and often make me roar with laughter - a great way to begin the day.
Oh dear the ageing thing - another 'hobby-horse' of mine - even listed in my Twitter profile - well #ageism at least. It is of course a 'BIGGIE' and doesn't (no surprise) get nearly as much attention as all the other 'isms' and concerns of the various current #MeToo splinter groups. This is really quite strange when you think about it as almost everywhere - 'we' are fast becoming increasingly enormous sectors of populations - living longer and all of that.
While medical and pharmaceutical companies have cottoned on to a greater extent even the inducement of attracting our $$$ hasn't sufficiently encouraged a major shift in cultural attitudes towards 'older' people. Thing is 'youth and beauty' are seemingly (still) what 'sells' and what are regarded as 'aspirational'. It is all hugely silly of course cos when you ARE 'young' you don't NEED to 'aspire' - you simply 'are' those things - generally speaking - anyway. However as we all know it is almost impossible to 'have' these things in reverse - although many try - cosmetic surgery, weight and exercise focuses etc etc. But while a few people (as we say) 'look great for their age' - most of us just look as we should and in my case and for most 'others' I am fine with that. But what REALLY gets me is there is no allowance in this superficially valorised view of youth and beauty for wisdom, experience and those qualities you referred to Melissa - quite simply if you can't SEE it - it doesn't exist or matter. Yes we are 'living in a (mainly) material world' and all of that ....
Like just about everyone else here I have also struggled to find clothing that fits- at almost 5ft 9in - close to your height - everything has always been too short - even the length of torsos as well as legs on pants and hems on dresses and skirts. I sewed my own clothing for years - but do much less of that now as do most of us - but then still have to often pull down hems etc. Op shops are my preference now for clothes as if I buy a few things for next to nothing I just recycle again what doesn't fit and I am not enamoured at all with labels. Also the salespeople are usually very communicative and pleasant women of around my own age and I don't have to tolerate the inflated prices, rap music, sneering and disinterest in those big stores. I am also often amazed at how much of the '2nd hand' clothing I buy still has the new labels - never ever worn - likely bought off the Net and probably didn't fit - so just discarded - these people REALLY seem to have lots of 'disposable income'. Recently I bought three pairs of (as new) pants in 3 sizes - all diff sizes but fitted the same - just one pair too low in waist - THAT 'thing' again.
Sorry to ramble - this is a huge subject about which we have all experienced frustrations - and SO MUCH discrimination and negativity is 'implicit' and so very hard to tackle - but I DO like the idea of fighting back however we can - yes maybe an uprising of 'flash mobs' as suggested !!
Thanks Melissa for turning your challenges into a form which we can all share and laugh about - even though they are quite often very 'horrid' for you - an empathic, remarkable and wonderful 'talent'.
Oh Rimmy, Thank you for reading! ...and for roaring with laughter, what a lovely compliment! Cheers! You are SPOT on! ...this whole "ageism" thing is really pissing me off! I may have to dedicate more "rants," to this bullshit! I wrote the blog below (on being invisible) in 2015; and that was before I was 4 years older, sick and limping!!!! You can imagine it has only gotten worse, since then! Enjoy the read 🤞🏼 I'm off to think about writing a whole series of rants, on ageism and age discrimination,
Woke up to read your blog......thanks for early morning smiles!! I had my joggers from good old M&S. Bought 2 pairs same size without trying on, got home , one pair had one leg shorter than the other😱😱!!! Should have tried on of course. Back to shop, this time I did try on. Only black or navy but with different leg lengths. I wouldn't use M&S for much but these are a good buy ( if you can find a pair with equal leg lengths!!!😂😂😂😂).
Thanks again Melissa for early morning chuckles!!! 😃😃😃😃
Being 5.2 ish I’ve found I would need pants that go to the armpits or to take a foot from the bottom and end up with the hip shape bit sticking out like a pair of jodhpurs . No help with the waist issues either ,all the trousers have giant legs to go with the giant waist . 👖
Well all I can say is you showed a great deal of patience and goodwill there. I do hate it when sales staff look down on you and continue to chat or use their phone instead of serving you!! That’s what they are getting paid for!!😬x
Brilliant piece - I enjoyed reading that - I hate musac I don't generally go into shops with canned music and when I do I ask them to turn it down so that I can think straight. If they don't I walk out. My method in purchasing sweat pants/ joggers/whatever is to look for the cheapest/best offer as I'm not trying to make a fashion statement. The fit doesn't seem to be weird - and I don't think my legs are particularly short
Ohhhh thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for your support!
That made me laugh so much Melissa, especially the rap music. Think we need to ‘get on down’ with the oldies now and buy sweatpants in M&S. I hate those sports shops with a vengeance!! 🤣🤣
THANKS! That makes me happy, Sue! I love that I made you laugh!
I actually like rap music (not the obscene, sexist, women degrading, shit) but the regular stuff... THIS however, was so loud and intrusive I could not hear myself think! I'll have to check out a lot of the suggestions people gave me, i.e. M&S, Lands End, Sainsbury...
Last year I went into a well known sports shop with my grandson to get him some trainers. The young male assistant walked up to us wearing shorts with his hand stuck down the front of them!! He took the shoe I was holding out and walked off to get the right size with his hand still stuck down around his nether regions. I asked Louis if it was a new ‘thing’ for young men to do but he was as bemused as I was. Unbelievable!!
DO IT! Best thing I ever did. Joined gym when I was 40, after my divorce... I was totally lost for a few weeks, but once I had "a fit young man," show me the ropes, I never had to go back to the gym! 🤣 🤣 🤣
*kidding*
It was the best thing I ever did though, seriously... I looked and felt better in my 40s & 50s, than I did the whole of my life!
I'd love to go back now.. just don't think I could cope...
I've noticed when I eat out with my pretty 23 year old daughter sometimes the server practically ignores me. Of course I think I'm pretty too, just older 😊 and I hate that loud disrespectful music in stores. Why don't the women who work there complain? Do they listen to the words? Boy now I sound old.
Hahahahahahaha, yeah ya do! As do I!!!! Yup, being "inviable," and ignored is so part of growing older... It so sucks!
I am not sure why young women are okay with being objectified and turned into sexual objects for men to degrade and devalue... It boggles my mind... after everything we (older ones) fought for!
...but then again, I'm still trying to understand how R. Kelly is still on the charts?
What worries me is that they aren't aware of it. I watch a lot of Eurosport and the German dating site ads are vile - very attractive young women giving what can only be called the come on. There is rather more to a relationship than being sexy...
Popular culture and media continue to degrade women in the worst possible ways - rewarding them (still) for being prepared to 'objectify' themselves. Girls and young women are conditioned very early and fast that 'trading' on their appearance can feel powerful and are told can 'get them places'. This is in spite of the fact that we 2nd wave feminists fought long and hard to end the oppression of women and their 'special place' in the world of crass commercialism and commodification. Hard to believe but sex trafficking (aka 'prostitution') of girls and women continues to grow and is a MASSIVE 'industry' worldwide. Incredible that this contemporary form of 'slavery' continues so many decades after abolition in the US (for example). Sometimes I despair !!
Oh M!!! If I knew how to put laughing emojis on here from my chromebook I would,,,,,what a been there done that scenario! And love the forward planning for the knee jobbie! Do let us know where you finally get sorted. I've read all this on returning from my pre op assessment - nurse hadn't ever come across anyone with PMR....from all the folk posting on here you'd never think we are a "rare breed" all went well - I'm following your lead for sorting "post op attire" but in my case think it will be a long loose skirt, a pair of bloomers like my grandmother used to wear and long woolly socks! I've got the socks but I know I definitely won't find boomers even in M and S - all advice welcome!
Hahahahahaha! Yes, ever the Project Manager... planning & organising! I am officially scheduled for February 18th, what about YOU????
I heard yesterday, he (the surgeon) won't know for sure if he will do a partial or a full replacement until he gets " in there."
AND... I won't be put under General anaesthesia!!!! I will have a "spinal block" 👏🏻 and be as awake or sedated as I want... I can even bring my own music and rock out!
Same Day! 18th! Hoping the surgeon isn't invited out for a liquid lunch the "Day Before!" I was told I'd have a general, thankfully I'd rather not know what's going on down near my waterworks - bladder prolapse - hence the bloomers!
I;m hoping it's at least an overnighter! OH was in for 2 nights for his knee - a week in France with not very good care and appalling food. It was a much better experience here including the food! I'm going to be in his tender care, heaven forfend!
The thought of it scared me much less than being knocked out! ...especially after the bradycardia experiencie and they had to like shoot me up with adrenaline or something to shock my heart! 😳
I don't seem to have anything saying on screen keyboard! I got to the advanced arrived at keyboard, nothing about on scree and even put that in the setting search box - perhaps I need to download some?
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