It was November, 2017... The A&E Doctor had consulted with the TAB specialist and they decided it was "most likely" GCA and started me off on 40 mg of Prednisolone.
Since then, I've been on as high as 80mg and as low as 30mg... but today, because I'm caught in the fiery throws of what appears to a "flare," I am back on 40 mg, where I began, not so long ago...
Round and round and round we go, where we stop, nobody knows.
Seriously? WTF? I was doing so well. Down to 30mg, from 80 and feeing good!
I still cant help but wonder... did the "row" cause the flare or did the predestine, oncoming flare, trigger the nuclear-ballistic "row?"
Someone on this site said he purposefully avoided ALL conflicts like the plague, because he knew (first hand) the negative effects they have on his physical, mental and emotional wellness... I can so see that.
And someone else on this site said, it really didn't matter and I get that as well. We're HERE now, it really doesn't matter what prompted what...
And sure, there were many other variables that would have to be taken into consideration, if we were really trying to find an answer... the 26th anniversary of my Mom's death, learning that a old friend had a terminal disease, learning 8 days later that same friend had died.
Who knows why we're back at square one... but we are.
I've been trying to minimise (ignore even!) all the telltale signs for 10 days now; i.e. the fatigue, on/off headaches, jaw joint pain, achy shoulders, sleeplessness, couch potato syndrome and general feelings of depression and malaise. However, yesterday when I felt that godawful pain behind my left eye; and today when I realised my temples hurt to the touch, I knew.
There was no more denying...
After the GP "consulted" with Google, she concurred with my assessment... it was indeed a "reoccurrence," (her term, not mine) of GCA and my Pred should be increased. She dithered for a few minutes, while reading Google, until I interrupted her thought process by saying, "I'd be comfortable going up to 40 mg, but don't want to go any higher than that." "Okay," she said. I'm to go back if I do not feel "considerably better" by Friday.
So here I sit. Angry. Frustrated. Pissed off. Deflated. Downhearted.
To come al this way and be back at square one... SUCKS!
I know it's not a race. I know zero Pred is not the ultimate goal. I know reducing Pred does not mean I'm getting better... but come on, nobody ever wants to UP their meds, even when they know it will make them feel better!
“He awaits himself while walking, out of the icy circle to escape.” ~ Dejan Stojanovic