Those that can't do... RANT!
rantingsofamadwomanblog.com...
Warning; This blog post may contain strong language. If you are offended by expletives, maybe you want to think twice before clicking on the link above.
On Being “Freak”: Those that can't do... RANT... - PMRGCAuk
On Being “Freak”
50 Replies
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Loved your blog mamic1. I can really relate to the trees, I had my favorite tree as a child and would sit in the branches watching for the enemy for hours.
I don't know why but I had a little tear in my eye after reading it
Keep up the good work.
Freak 2
in reply to Primarose
Dear Freak 2, I know that tear... it's the bittersweet drop of days gone bye. No matter we, are here now and we are FREAKS!
Know that YOU were my inspiration for this one!!!! Thank you! xxxx
PS - I loved the line, "...watching the "enemy" for hours!"
Interesting point, we can have a tendency to hide if we're different, particularly when young - now - I don't give a sod!
in reply to Telian
Yeah... Freak3
Mine was shyness, now I can't keep my gob shut!
in reply to Telian
Freak4!!!!
Telian in reply to
'It's not me - it's the Pred'
in reply to Telian
🤣🤣🤣 Nope. Not this time Telian, I'm not letting you get away with that! It's you, it's definitely you! Freak Number 4!
Telian in reply to
Okay! I wasn't oversized in height or weight - just the opposite in weight - really skinny used to get called 'skinny legs, sparrow legs, just like two pegs' and hid my legs forever... back then I was likened to Twiggy and Cilla as so skinny and had identical hair colour to Cilla - I didn't really appreciate being skinny at all - did use to model for the school (was school representative and got McCalls patterns free) and a local boutique - was offered a job at 14 but too young to take. Pity I didn't make money like them....but I thought I was awful....
Great blog, can relate to so much, especially the trees. Never could “fit in” was never “normal” whatever that is. But looking back I wouldn’t change much even if I could. Now I have two freaky diseases, normally abnormal? Thanks for sharing. Keep it going!
in reply to CT-5012
Thank you. Freak 5!
Me too. When I was growing up and people asked what I wanted to be, I told them 'petite' 🤣 I've spent many years wishing I was more normal but I'm definitely on the freak scale and I secretly very proud of it. No-one was surprised when I died my hair red. I like freaks and oddities, we are absolutely more interesting - love your posts, they are definitely to my taste!!
in reply to Angiejnz
Freak 6!!!
Love this. Always felt the odd one out and have found it difficult to relate to people unlike both my sisters so always considered myself a bit freakish.
Now I own my freakishness. I have a freaky unheard of illness now to go with it.
‘Freakish and proud’ 😈
Let your freak flag fly! Your talent is writing— did you ever write professionally? I always look forward to your blog posts 🤗
Oh how I can relate! I was a tall, skinny, curly haired girl-misfit. Somewhere, someplace, someone (probably my Ex) is/has a picture of my 14yr old self, wearing a head bandana, Rolling Stones t-shirt, sitting on a motorcycle with boy I had a mad crush on. At 5’10” tall and size 10 shoe, I didn’t exactly fit the cheerleader type either. Never quite fit into a mold. It appears my illness isn’t fitting in either 😑 (to be written about at a later date— I just don’t have the emotional energy ).
in reply to Canygirl61
Thank you Canygirl61! aka Freak 8! No, but I would love to write professionally. Thank you.
I was 5 '10 1/2 inches tall at 14 and wore a size 10 shoe!!!! FREAK!!! hahahahaha
Nice to meet a fellow “Rabble-Rouser”. So jealous- I was raising 5 kids & didn’t get into the “war protests”. But now we’re leading a different protest and let’s hope we’re more successful.
in reply to ConventCassie
Hi ConventCassie, aka Freak 9! I thought I responded you you yesterday, but don't see my response here... Anyway, I think what I said is that you were "there with us in spirit" back in the day and YES, let's hope we are more successful today!!!!!
ConventCassie in reply to
Honoured to be #9!
in reply to ConventCassie
And we are honoured to have you!!!!!!!
I was a freak because I was small! Smallest girl in the school for two years and always smallest in class after that. I was very shy too which didn't help. I was ill quite a bit and when I was 11 I was in bed for 4 weeks and during that time my feet grew nearly 2 sizes! They didn't grow after that but the rest of me did to a point where, although still smaller than average I'm not as much outside the norm as I was! I was also a tomboy but I was encouraged in that by my parents. My favourite place was up a tree too. Later on I did science subjects and I'm a bit of a nerd but happy with it.
Because where I live is somewhere that has always been a favourite with retirees though I can't say polymyalgia is something no one has every heard of it. It seems every other person I meet knows someone with it!
in reply to Louisepenygraig
Louisepenygraig aka Freak 10! Wow, smallest to the biggest! Both freaks.
... but the PMR doesn't make you a freak, hmmm? Cool!
A non-freak-freak!
Love your rants Melissa and what a very interesting way to see PMR. For a long time, I felt freakish and frightened. I now accept PMR and see it as a lodger who will leave when he/she is good and ready thank you very much. I enjoy your very original take on life.
in reply to teesher
teesher, of course... FREAK 11!!! Thank you for loving my Rants! And yes I see my PMR/GCA as an UNWELCOME guest, but know (hope & pray) that s/he will leave soon!!!!
Great blog! It made me think of the song “ I am a teenage dirtbag baby” for some reason and moved me in the same way. We did catch the tail end of the hippy movement. I sold the underground newspaper OZ in Prince’s Street Gardens, I never wore shoes, I would give out flowers saying “ Peace and Love”. I was 14 too and really believed that if we all loved each other the world would heal - still do really.
I got more cautious and conventional with the birth of my first child at 21. Too much to risk and lose. She on the other hand seems to have married both sides of her nature! Evolution.
in reply to SheffieldJane
Thank you Jane, aka Freak 12!!! I had to Google the song, as I don't think I had ever heard it before:
And he doesn't give a damn about me
'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me, ooh
By the way the parallels in our lives and experiences is getting FREAKY!
SheffieldJane in reply to
That’s the one. I think we should all give our child selves a big hug. 🤗
in reply to SheffieldJane
I agree! And a pat on the back for surviving!!!!!
Can I be a closet freak?
in reply to SheffieldJane
Ohhhhhh, come on.... don't stay in the closet!!!!!!! Come out and play with the rest of us!!!!!
Dear Melissa I am thinking it ironic that so many of us will relate to those feelings of being 'different' or outside of things when we were younger. I also was nearly always the 'biggest' in my peer groups and had the feet to go with it - but not what I saw as the more desirable leanness - I had rather more of what felt at the time like the less enviable 'breadth'. I couldn't either gracefully tumble in gymnastics ( I was a real 'disaster' there ) but I could write 'extra good' poems a generous teacher told me later on - so in 'both' (and many other) ways I saw myself as 'different'.
What you describe so beautifully though is how we mostly eventually slide into our own skins and become 'ourselves' despite what (we think) 'others' think of us !! And one of the joys of ageing I have found to be caring less and less about the opinions of people about who or 'what' I am or do - and just BEING 'myself' ...
Also although this strange (freaky) illness has sought us out the very fact we have been able to share so many elements of our experience here with it has saved (I am sure) most us from the isolation of its once more 'disconnected' impacts so that we can feel rather less like 'freaks' of nature.
But this is not to say I don't cherish bits of myself that others might consider 'freakish' - for surely it is ultimately our 'uniqueness' that really defines us all and I myself really appreciate so many of those distinctive aspects in 'others' ....
Rimmy
XX
in reply to Rimmy
Rimmy, aka Freak 13 (<<great number!!!!) Ahhhhh, yes, "leanness." Ohhhh man... I woulda killed to be svelte, like those Mary Quant models! I too was quite "thick." I couldn't tumble or write poetry!!!! : (
Yes, we do (most of us anyway) eventually "slide into our own skins and become ourselves," thank goodness! I always feel sad when I sense that someone hasn't gotten to that point... I know a few people who are not comfortable with themselves/in their own skin. : (
And you make an excellent point!!!! It is because of this strange, freaky illness that we have "met" each other and have shared our unique experiences that has saved us!!! Our freakishness brought us together and made us somewhat "normal." Whatever that is! : )
Freaking Hell Mel......! Super blog again.
in reply to
Hey Pepperdoggie, Thank you!!!! Thank you so much! You are Freak 14!!!!!
Fly that Freak flag high and proud! Loved, loved, loved this post.
Being a ginger with long wavy hair made me stick out like a sore thumb when I was in elementary school. To make matters worse I was as tall as I am now (5’9”) and God forbid, was a full C cup in the 5th grade. I was mortified. It was my father, who taught me everything I know mechanical including building car engines, that made me believe different is good and thankfully I learned that lesson well.
Fast forward to now, I’m retired from a career not too many women undertook when I began in the early 80’s and that career allowed me to travel and experience many things. Being different gave me the courage to try anything. I was diving off the roof into a backyard pool at 8 years old. My parents weren’t sure if I was brave or just plain stupid but they did have the wisdom to march me to the local rec center and got me into platform diving.
Anyway enough of my rambling. Different is good, I celebrate what makes us all different and enjoy people for who they are, not for fitting into some norm. Thanks for the smile!
Best~
S
in reply to Nitrobunny
Even your name "Nitrobunny," is freaky!!!! Good on you Freak 15!!!! Long, wavy, ginger hair... it sounds beautiful, but I can see as a kid in Elementary school, already having big boobs and being 5'9... it might have put you over the top!!!! I love that your Dad's knowledge and experience shaped your life... what a great legacy for him! Happy I made you smile!!! And thank you for loving my post!
I never fit in either! I was a loner spending hours alone at the stables or on the beach. I was badly bullied at school because I was seen as different and teased as I wore spectacles and was chubby. I tried to hide my "intelligence" from everyone as it didn't do to be seen as clever. It took years to embrace and love myself for my differences. I am so glad I didn't conform as the people I have around me now are all like minded and would have been though of as freaks!
Wooo hoo S4ndy! Freak 16! I am happy you didn't conform too!
Your blog is brilliant!!
You tackle subjects that others may shy away from, revealing your true self, no matter how “freaky”.
I grew up in a world of diversity, my mom and step dad were hippy bikers, he was aboriginal and she blonde, blue-eyed German which definitely generated (often) negative attention. As a teen I hung out with people on the fringe because that just seemed to be where I belonged (besides the freaks were way more genuine and intriguing than the mainstream crowd).
I am slowly learning that my PMR sets me apart from my peers, my family, my colleagues, but I am ever so grateful to be so warmly welcomed in this forum.
Thank you for creating this new community via your writing Melissa.
Just noticed I tried to post this reply while reading other posts, and accidentally posted as a reply in another conversation (jeez... duh).
For what it’s worth Theziggy, I’m in the early stages like you and my Rheumy told me to go from 20 to 15 to 12.5 in six weeks. I had a flare and stiffness and some pain in the morning. CRP went up to 10 so back up to 15mg of Pred again for last month.
When I see Rheumy next week I am going to suggest slower taper, maybe 1mg a month, taking into consideration my daily wellness/symptoms.
Hopefully you can be supported in a way that meets your needs moving forward. Learn to listen to your body and try and find balance of activity, rest and diet (things we control).
Not sure if this is helpful as I’m a relative newbie, however there are many more experienced and knowlegable folks on here who have responded.
Now I just have to learn to post properly on this Forum!!
in reply to PMRCanada
Fabulous Freak 17! An aboriginal Dad and a blue eyed, blond haired German chic Mom, on bikes! Love it. Thank you for reading and supporting my writing effort.... I do appreciate it!
Found this so funny- especially liked the fella in the shoe shop saying he might as well bring the box! Good on your mum that she walked out though. Your size etc has made you what you are - unique ( we all are for different reasons) and we love you for it!! Keep being unique and your own person!
in reply to Jackoh
Hi Jackoh, aka Freak 18! *laughing* Hey, that was the most traumatising part of the whole story!
Yeah , my mom was pretty cool.... Both my brothers had really long hair in the late 60s early 70s.... she and my Dad both HATED it.... but I remember my Mom saying to anybody that bitched about, "I don't like it either, but I defend his right to wear it like that!" I was so proud of her. 😊
Sounds like you take after her a bit!? Xx
Loved your blog mamici1 as always. So many true words and admire your courage. You made me smile - thanks. Xx
in reply to Nerak12
Ooooo, thank you Nerak12... or shall I say FREAK 19! I appreciate your support and if I made you smile... my job here is done!!!! : )
Just let your Freak Flag fly!
Soon, we'll be our own country, complete with our own language, food, literature, music and dance...and health care system!
Hello GG, Freak 20!!!! Where are you???
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