A Moment of Me

I was up and out early yesterday (Well, "early" is a relative term, isn't it? It was already 10:00 am!) It was my daily trek ( 0.4 miles) to the local Waitrose. The sun was shining, I could hear birds sining and it was looking like it might be an "okay" day. As I rounded the corner, and headed down the hill, I suddenly realised that for the first time, in a very, long time, I FELT LIKE ME!

No! This couldn't possibly be. I must be wrong. I checked again.... No "fuzzy brain?" Check. No "discombobulated" thoughts? Check. No overwhelming feelings of extreme "exhaustion and fatigue?" Check. No "jittery, anxious, wired" feelings of panic? Check.

Oh my goodness!!!

It was ME! I was back. I was right there, walking down the street; "NORMAL," like everyone else! (Well, again, another relative term... shall we say, I was AS normal as everyone else!)

WOW! FANTASTIC! EXCEPTIONAL!

It was however (and unfortunately) short lived; as I hit the hustle and bustle of the already crowded Waitrose, with it's "musac" and harsh fluorescent lighting. All of the familiar feelings of doom and gloom came rushing back in.

...but I was there! I saw ME.

It may have been just a momentary glimpse, but it was the old me; confident, determined, steadfast, capable. Not this shell of the woman I have become in the last 80 days.

She's in there!

"Today?" you ask... Well, today I shall attempt a "Cardamom and Lemon Cookies," recipe, using the antique cookie stamp friends brought me from France!

Wish me luck!

PS - I won't be eating them, just baking them. #nosugar, #nocarbs, #nowheatforme

Have a fantabulous day.

[Rugger]

Mamici,

Hang on in there and there will be more moments like that to reassure you that this thing will pass.

The antique cookie stamp sounds lovely and what a soothing occupation for today.

You have a fantabulous day too!

Take care x

[Hidden in reply to Rugger]

Yes... I am SURE there will be! Thank you!!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

There is nothing much better than a crisp winter day. Glad you found yourself. See you were just hiding and waiting for a bliss moment.

I think PMR has made me hypersensitive to my surroundings. People rushing....lots of noise or the expectation that I might have to string a sensible sentence or two together seems to empty my brain and my batteries. As you have seen today, it gets better. 😎🌻

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It was a moment of pure BLISS!

I'm hoping the baking experience brings her out of hiding again. ; )

[SheffieldJane]

I love those moments, they come with a nostalgic pang, I love nostalgia. I envy you your cookie cutter, I would eat the cookies, most def. i’m Glad she gave you a wave.👋

[Hidden in reply to SheffieldJane]

She did... and if I'm not mistaken, she may have even mouthed, "I'll be back!"

[Jennyhampshire]

Having similar feelings this morning as I got up. Seen my GP for first appointment on Wednesday and am now on 20mg from 25mg Pred for 3 weeks (could this be the reason for feeling “normal”) Fortunately she was very understanding but not overly sympathetic about the fatigue we experience when overdoing (everyday!!) things. Anyway, feeling brighter this morning i am planning on visiting a friend who has just had a baby in hospital BUT my grandchildren (2yr old twins) come round on Friday afternoons SO can I cope with doing both? What feels achievable at the moment may prove the opposite when my lively grandchildren come crashing through the door this afternoon but I shall wait to see as I am determined to make the most of wanting to go out this morning.

Will probably be snoring 💤 on the sofa by 5.00!! X

[Hidden in reply to Jennyhampshire]

Good on you! I hope your authentic, inner YOU emerges today and gives you strength to do both; visit new baby and grandchildren!!!

[SheffieldJane in reply to Jennyhampshire]

Well there are always 2 sugar free lollipops and Chuggington ( don’t tell my daughters).

[Rimmy]

If you can't eat ANY of the cookies you make I would call this: #prettymiserable

[Hidden in reply to Rimmy]

Hahahahahaha! Yes, perhaps... but I take some solace in the fact that I have convinced myself that sugar, wheat and carbs are "poisons" to me... it helps. Since the beginning of my journey (November 13th) I have actually lost 10 pounds! ..of course that has not stopped my face from getting ROUND, but hey ho.

[Rimmy]

Yes I lost 10 kgs in my first 3 months on steroids as trying to 'avoid' the dreaded weight gain as I was already borderline 'plump'. I also eschewed carbs and oddly at high doses found it fairly easy - in fact my appetite seemed to have if anything diminished - very odd for me !! Since tapering to 15mg (a couple of ups and downs in the last year) I have gradually returned to eating less restrictively - some carbs and 'treats'. I must admit I have always inordinately liked food and that trait is firmly wedged and have not been able to convince myself that something as 'heavenly' as sugar could be really BAD for me. I do try to be 'sensible' but perhaps I am just too 'sensuous' ! BTW those cookies sound delicious so please don't send me the recipe ...

Oh also I know the weird feeling of having a slimmer than usual body and a much rounder face ... I thought everyone would notice - but not many did !!

Cheerio

Rimmy

[PMRpro Ambassador]

So why create temptation???????

[Hidden in reply to PMRpro]

Sorry PMRpro, are you asking me why bake the cookies in the first place?

... or talking to malvikajain?

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Hidden]

The former - if I baked cookies, I would have to try them...

[Insight329 in reply to PMRpro]

Me, too. The smell of sugar in the oven would drive me insane. Heck, I’m fighting myself on supporting a friend’s daughter by purchasing girl scout cookies. I tell myself to get them and immediately take them to work, but that’s problematic as they’d still be a temptation. I think I’ll just throw money at them and run.

But I do get that cooking can be therapeutic

.

[PMRpro Ambassador in reply to Insight329]

Oh yes - so do I. But even not having made more than the regulation 8 mincepies for 2 people for xmas, no shortbread and frozen the xmas pud, I have gained weight. Too much snow this winter and the resulting ice has restricted the exercise too to add insult to injury.

[Hidden in reply to Insight329]

It was (therapeutic). *sigh* If not a bit exhausting!

[SheffieldJane in reply to Hidden]

But she gets to use her beautiful cookie cutters. The aesthetics of that I really get. I suppose you could make prim little multi grain oat biscuits mamici ? ☹️ For the 🐦.

[Hidden in reply to SheffieldJane]

Oooooo, yes OAT! Also, just found a wheat free Peanut Butter cookie recipe that looks interesting. ...perhaps I should stay on the "cooking" side of things, baking may be waaaay too tempting!

[PMRpro Ambassador]

What a load of trolling woo! Blatant advertising...

There is no clinical proof it reduces weight - it MAY help manage blood sugar and cholesterol levels but that isn't the same thing. I will admit research shows that the leaves contain mahanimbine. That's where it stops.

Mercifully I see you can't count either - the only 10 is the curry leaves.

[SheffieldJane in reply to PMRpro]

Oh you do make me smile PMRPro. In my teens I used to start the day with PLJ unsweetened lemon juice. It made all sweet things taste like saccharine . Really changed my taste buds. Now it would stab me in the guts I guess.

[Grants148]

I wish you many more Me,daysMamicil,and it certainly is a sure sign of spring to hear the birds singing and the sun coming out ,and l know that this makes me feel much happier ,the gloomy winter mornings are quite depressing and waking up to a blue sky really livens me up.xx

[teesher]

You are in there - just hibernating until things get better. And they will.