So How Bad Is It?

Those that can't do... rant.

rantingsofamadwomanblog.com...

(Please excuse the implied expletives)

[micheleinnaples]

I love it! I think you have a healthy perspective and realistic outlook! I found out yesterday that one of my dearest friends who was close to her 10 year remission with breast cancer found out it's back and it metastasized to her brain, spine and esophagus. She was told she has 10 years of life left. You can't imagine how difficult it was to a respond to her sense of grief. I sent her your blog post. I happen to think it will provide some level of relief and transparency as a reminder that is okay to have ying and yang days! Thank you again for your brilliant writing!

[Hidden in reply to micheleinnaples]

Wow! Sharing my rantings with your friend is a beautiful compliment... thank you! I hope she finds some comfort and peace in the words. If she wants to reach out for any reason (as I work with terminally Ill people as an end of life companion) please give her my email address [e-mail]. Sometimes it's easier communicating with with someone you not emotionally tied to. ❤️

[micheleinnaples in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I will send it to her.

[JulianJ]

I think I know my yin, I keep a close eye on it.

My yang is what you see on here, if my other half gets out, I think I will be in big trouble. I do go for the “power of positive thinking” philosophy as it helps keep good old yin away from the public, after all they really don't want that persona to be out on the loose, not a nice person then.

But you are right, we need to know our yin and yang, without that, we don't know ourselves.

[Hidden]

Brilliant. Must say I'm more Chin & Fang myself on the Roids!!! ATB

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hahahahahahahahahah!

[Insight329]

Another 'spot-on' reflection! I so look forward to your writings. They make me 'take note'.

upworthy.com/12-funny-comic...

This was shared with me. I was a bit pissed that Lethargic Larry got to be the mascot. (You'll have to look for him. I think we can all relate.)

And I love the sticker suggestion. Sticker: I made a real breakfast this morning; not just a pop-tart.

[Hidden in reply to Insight329]

Loved that. Very funny.

[Hidden in reply to Insight329]

Hysterical! And as someone who suffers also from panic and anxiety attacks, I CAN RELATE! I'm happy to hear that you enjoy my rants, thank you so much! I kind of hate being the "Negative Nancy" out here amongst a lot of very brave, upbeat, positive people, but... I can only be me. If anything good has come out of my PMR/GCA diagnosis it's the fact that I can't "do" and have had to find other outlets... I have always loved writing and now that I have something to bitch about again, I'm getting in touch with my creative side. Thank you again, I appreciate your support. PS I love the "I took my meds" sticker as I consider that an HUGE accomplishment everyday!!!!! : )

[Insight329 in reply to Hidden]

Oh, Mamaici1, you aren’t “Negative Nancy”. You are a smart, active woman that was very recently struck down unexpectedly with a disabling disease. And your journey since has been pretty rocky. Let’s not forget the 75-80 mg of Pred. 40mg made me feel like that commercial with the egg in a frying pan ‘this is your brain on drugs’ - can’t imagine 80. Your body is saying, “I’m exhausted” while your brain is saying, “whhhheeee, watch me gooooo”. It’s a strange, scary time in your life and you are handling it very gracefully, from my perspective. Your writing is true and no b.s. It speaks your (and our) journey in a thought provoking, sophisticated, and raw way. I think it’s so good you should submit it. To which journal, no idea - but it’s good stuff.

Lol about getting a sticker for taking meds? Ain’t that the truth? I had to build it into my daily outlook calendar so I’d remember. It would make it so much easier for this forgetful mind if I could just throw everything in the mouth at once and be done with it. But, nooooo. And I had to clear out a junk drawer to make space to put them all. What a crazy journey we are all on.

Hang in there, kiddo. You are handling being thrown upside down relatively well. Once you get on lower mg, you’ll start to feel rightside up again. I promise.

Now, I’m going to turn off the light and try to get back to sleep. It’s 3:40 am and hopefully I can get another 2 hour nap in. Wishing I had your weighted blanket right now. Need to put that in my outlook calendar: shop for weighted blanket. Will use my cat tonight instead.

Take care!

[Hidden in reply to Insight329]

Thank you so very much! Your message made me cry... but I haven't a clue as to why! Yes, I'm exhausted (I've been awake and active since 3:30 this morning!), feeling like I am hanging from the ceiling by my fingernails, and apparently have no control over my emotions! "Brain on drugs" image is perfect! Thank you for your kind words... the validation means a lot to me especially, from the members of this community. It is my truth but if it resonates with any of the others PMR/GCA sufferers, even better! Many thanks.

[Rimmy]

Another great piece from you Mamaici and couldn't agree more that we are all composed of what you refer to as 'yin' and 'yang' - and think that frequently these 'dark' and 'light' aspects of ourselves are completely interfused anyway. I also have dipped into my 'darker' side quite deliberately for respite - even from childhood - and although i have sometimes dug deep into despair and digging out has become difficult - it is a natural part of life for me.

Grief is a perfect example - often an expression of love - its loss and disappointments - but sometimes when immersed in it - it is also strangely elating - exposing the breadth and depth of feelings which we suppress in our daily lives of just 'getting on with it'. The MAIN thing in my experience IS to be feeling and not being 'inert' or trapped or stuck in some frozen space - so I couldn't agree with you more - engage with all of it - the darkness and the (de) light - it is all necessarily part of a rich life.

[Hidden in reply to Rimmy]

No truer words, Rimmy, no truer words! Thank you for sharing your thoughts... BEAUTIFUL. And thank you for your support and encouragement.

[spiritofhilary]

Oh, that struck so many chords!! Thank you and may your yin and yang long be in harmony.

[Hidden in reply to spiritofhilary]

Thank you!!!!!! Your's too!!!! : )