Keeping it Real

Good morning All! I am newly diagnosed with PMR and upon reflection, I have this to say: This is my 3rd auto-immune disease. I have Hashimoto's, Raynauds and now PMR. I have taken care of different family members throughout the last 10 yrs who have had serious health problems, and most have passed away. I still have my 90 yr old mother who I care for. I am not complaining, but upon reflection, I wonder what the stress of all the care-taking has done to my own health.

I have re-evaluated things and I am taking more time for respite these days. I love my mother, but I am relying more on others to help her too. She is not happy sometimes about the changes, but it has to be. I need to take care of myself first. Took me 10 yrs to realize this, but I have arrived!

I had Hashimoto's for over 20 yrs. The Raynauds and the PMR were diagnosed in 2016. My body was like a runaway train with these developing conditions. I am grateful I pushed for diagnosis as things were getting out of control. I am now under good care and have a new perspective on life. Hindsight is 20/20. Just keeping it real.

5 Replies

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  • Welcome nymima01 - to the place you would really rather not be!

    You will find that you have a head start on others in the same place as you. Most of them will still have the evaluation test to come but will not know it and it can come as an unpleasant surprise for them.

    I agree that the stress you have been under could be a trigger for PMR, but then I believe it is so for most patients. I had a very gradual onset and have never really known why it happened, but I was also a busy, busy bee, juggling life, work, home, hobbies to the nth degree.

    I hope you have a smooth journey down the PMR road, but we are always here.

  • Hello nymima01

    Welcome to our Group, a wealth of knowledge & support is at hand. Doing the Triple, eh? Not what you want, that's for sure!

    I'm pleased you have realise you need to step back a little & let others help with your Mum as you do need to rest & allow yourself sometime to recharge & start to recover from your own issues. We can be made to feel guilty Very easily but you now need to think about yourself first.

    Take Care & once again Welcome 💐

    Mrs N 💅🏼

  • Welcome - and what the others said! I think you have reached a good status - and accepting that we aren't able to do it all is a good start in autoimmune disease! Learning that at least allows you to put you first - and that's what a lot of it is about in chronic illness. If you are useless you are no use to anyone else either.

  • Hi, I do admire you coping with caring when your own health is poor. I wouldn't worry too much if the stress of it has made you develop PMR. If you hadn't taken it on you probably would have been stressed knowing they needed care. You can't turn off being a caring person. Maybe now you need to be the care planner rather than the direct care giver. It's often said but true when the plane is going down they tell you to put the oxygen on yourself first.

  • Hello nymima01, what a lot you have had on your plate - perhaps little wonder if your body is rebelling. I know we can never know precisely the cause of our PMR, but I'm convinced stress is a big factor.

    I, too, was a sort of carer for my elderly father and stepmother, but at arm's length - so a lot of my time was spent in trundling back and forth along the motorways of England, sorting out issues with GPs, chemists and the paid day-to-day carers, and negotiating with the hospital staff after emergency admissions. There were other stressful things going on in my life over the same 3-4 year period, and I don't think it's any co-incidence that I came down with pmr within a couple of months of everything winding down (which included, sadly, my father's death). It was as if my body said "right, now it's time for ME". But I agree that it would also have been stressful not to be involved - sometimes you just can't win!

    Take good care of yourself

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