The Way I See Things

Living with Parkinson's Disease means I am no longer the person I once was, and I know it, and it pisses me off! My body no longer listens to what my mind tells it to do. Those poignant, witty remarks that use to flow off my tongue during a conversation, are now silent. I can no longer complete the Sunday crossword puzzle or concentrate long enough to read my favorite authors. I walk slowly and sometimes stop unexpectedly as the connection from my brain to my legs disconnects. The wait for the reconnect seem endless as those around me ignore, avoid,or stare blatantly at the weirdo blocking the isle. I pretend not to care, but I do, I care a lot. I have lost my freedom. No longer able to drive myself to the mall or to visit friends, I have to depend on the kindness of friends and family.

I now suffer from memory loss and confusion, I endure incredible pain, I run into walls, trip over things, have an unsteady and wobbly gate which have brought accusations of drunkenness,(I do not drink), and I appear to be unhappy with everyone and everything. And yet, through all the frustration and unhappiness this disease brings to my life, I could never express enough the Love I feel for the man who manages to look past all the ugliness of this unrelenting disease and Love me anyway. For all the wonderful caregivers out there who feel unappreciated and overwhelmed, please know that We Love You. We may not be able to express our Love for You the way we, or you , would like but it's there and it's big and full of hugs, kisses, kind words, thank yous, smiles, hand holdings and the strength of our relationship. To "My Robert" who seems to love me unconditionally, I just want to say "Thank You" for always being here! You are my Hero!

Jane

8 Replies

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  • hijane

    you have brought tears to my eyes

    your ROBERT is indeed a agreat man and person to lov eu fo rwho u r.

    HUGS HUGS AND XXX

    LOL jILL

    :-)

  • hear hera jj - i too have a wonderful man in my life who loves me uncondionately- there is not aday that goes past without my saying thankyou to him and that i love him to death - he is a remarkable person much like yiur robert i should think

    love from sha xxxx

  • I feel the same about my wife, AND you worded it just great

    Regards;

    EJG

  • I want to respond yet have no words----you spoke so well for yourself Allprentice and the love of your life, Robert. I almost feel guilty saying that I remain fairly self-sufficient and I care more for the man in my life--physically. He supports me emotionally but his multiple health issues prevents him from doing more. However this can almost be viewed as a motivator for me to struggle thru the bad days and enjoy the good ones for as long as I can AND to remember to be grateful for everything I can do-----oh it may take me longer on some days or have to modify how I do things to get the expected outcome. God bless you and the commenters to your post as well as to the caregivers you are fortunate to have----you give me strength to continue forging ahead each day.

  • I'm so glad to see you posting again. "Your Robert" is the true meaning of "unconditional Love". You are an "inspirational couple."

    I know you are not religious, so please take this video as an expression of my friendship.

    Regards, and "Stay Strong",

    CJ

  • Here here for all the wonderful spouses who love and support us unconditionally! I,too,am very thankful for Bill,who is my EVERYTHING!!!! I love you Bill!

  • Well said.... i also am very lucky to have a wonderful man as my husband, who was also my high school sweet heart. He takes care of me n loves me unconditionally and he just told me the other day he will love me until death, i said it and i meant it....brings tears to my eyes just typing this out. You can't help but to think at times, the worst of the unknown, with this horrible disease. Thanks James for everything, I love you baby! All the caretakers out there thanks for all you do....we couldn't do this alone as this is not an easy thing to go thru which y'all know!

  • My heart understands, and I too, experience what you have reported. The loss of independence is one of the hardest losses to accept. I was a Registered Nurse for 20+ years, specializing in Bone Marrow Transplant and general Oncology. Now, that I am on the other side is very compelling to me. Confusion at times is scary, and difficulty concentrating is frustrating. The simple pleasures of enjoying a good meal has now become an ordeal due to difficulty with swallowing.

    Yes, we owe alot to our caregivers. They are our angels on this earth.

    I wish for you peace and hopefully, one day there will be a cure for this disease.

    Many people have no understanding of how this disease takes from one's life.

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