Will I ever eat pizza again

[SenorBarba]

I was a heavy drinker for about a decade. I’m 35 and recently diagnosed with EPI and fatty liver. I just got married to the love of my life after decades of loneliness and abuse. I’ve barely given her 3 months of a husband. I feel so guilty and ashamed. Thoughts of suicide rush through my head constantly. I’m scared things will get worse and turn into more pain and discomfort. I’m scared I won’t be able to enjoy a pizza with my wife, which is our favorite thing. I’m worried I won’t be able to care for the kids we planned to have together. I started on PERT and it seemed like it was getting better but now it doesn’t seem to be helping. What can I expect?

[ribeyesteak]

I too was a heavy drinker and it was difficult for me to stop. Drinking was like playing russian roulette because I never knew when I would have an attack and end up in the hospital. Watch out for cigarette smoke also! Second hand smoke makes my panc hurt. Quit or use patches if you smoke.

Make sure you take enough enzymes with everything you eat. And don't be afraid to take more for larger meals. Your pancreas underwent a large insult and is likely still inflamed and is very sensitive. Now, after an episode I would eat much smaller amounts several times a day. I also use protein shakes like Muscle Milk or Ensure which are fat free and mostly sugar free. I will eat Jello, toast, rice, chicken soup. This helps give the pancreas a rest. After a while I can resume eating more normally, even pizza!

After a while I learned to know when I am not feeling right and need to take it easy.

There is life after pancreatitis. There is life after alcohol too which I did not believe. I have had chronic pancreatitis for many years after my first attack in 2007.

Here is what you can expect if you continue to drink like I did in the beginning: sudden attacks that require an ambulance to get you to the ER, Continued scarring and damage to the pancreas. Pancreas surgery. I had the pancreaticojejunostomy roux-n-y. That took several months to get back to work.

I wish you well. I am sure your new wife would like it if you stuck around. She likely does not mind if you have a wonky pancreas either.

Drinking with a bad pancreas is suicide the slowest possible way there is.

Tim

[Rgee in reply to ribeyesteak]

Hi Ribeyesteak, I too relapsed after diagnosis(feb 22nd 2023)....I cant help but feel that the damage i did with doing that is the worse possible thing i could have ever done in my life and to my family, I was in no pain after diagnosis until i wrapped up that embarrassing binge, now i have a constant reminder of discomfort that i feel will never go away. Up until now i felt very alone as if i was the only one who could have made such a huge mistake so i appreciate you and some others sharing their story about this kind of thing, do you mind if i asked how long/how much you drank until kicking it again?

[B_Stripes]

Hi SenorBarba, sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis, it can be a really tough time but I hope you are getting through it okay.

I just wanted to echo everything ribeyesteak has already said. I'm 34 and I had my first episode of pancreatitis back in 2009, it's been a difficult journey but there is definitely life after pancreatitis.

When it comes to eating I tell myself: don't focus on what you can't eat, focus on what you can eat. When cooking and eating out, this stops me from dwelling on the things I might be missing out on and helps me to make the most out of the the things I can have and enjoy.

I also find it helpful to focus on the why. Why do you enjoy pizza with your wife? Is it the pizza or the time spent together? Would your wife mind if you swapped your serving for something less or something else? It can still be your favorite thing together, it might just look a little different.

If you're planning to have kids together, it's natural to worry about being able to care for them. I have a 3 year old daughter and I worry about being able to care for her all the time, and I actually find it helps me to be better. One of the best ways I care for her now as well as in the future is by caring for myself. I prioritse my mental and physical health so I am strong and healthy and there for her. For me this means a pancreas-friendly diet, zero alcohol, lots of exercise etc. These are my 'non-negotiables' and they were difficult to start with but got easier as I got better at them. If you're planning to have kids, you can start taking care of your future family today by taking care of yourself!

You also mentioned thoughts of suicide - it can be overwhelming so please reach out for help and support. Could you start by talking with your doctor or a professional? Remember that although you may have these thoughts you can choose not to act on them.

Wishing you the best, reach out if you need to.

[cultivating_courage in reply to B_Stripes]

Hi,

Thanks for sharing this info! I’m in my early 20s and was recently diagnosed with EPI from alcohol. Also ate very poorly and had a high-fat diet before. I really resonate with your healthy living advice. I’ve seen a dietician so I know what my dietary goals should be, I exercise a lot, staying sober (6 months woot woot!), and am taking PERT. It’s nice to know someone out there is also doing what I’m doing.

Much love!

[Susaberry]

I’m sorry you must deal with CP. I was diagnosed in 2014. I have pancreas divisum. Looking back over my life, I think I had acute attacks since childhood. These attacks were attributed to an ulcer when I was 7, then as anxiety attacks. Drinking alcohol made me “anxious.” so I’ve never been a drinker. I would always “get sick” after eating picnic food or heavy meals like Thanksgiving. I had an EUS in 2014, which confirmed CP. Since my diagnosis, I stopped eating red meat, pork, any type of oil, fried food, and dairy. I limit my fat intake to 20 grams per day. I eat pizza, but it must be baked without oil. The toppings are red sauce, onions, basil, and a little bit of fresh mozzarella. The only meat I eat is boneless chicken breasts and Boars Head Turkey. . I eat potatoes, fruit, and veggies. Instead of butter, I use I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter spray. The spray has no fat. Occasionally I’ll have frozen yogurt or sherbet. I also take 100mg of Now brand Grapeseed extract twice a day because it’s full of antioxidants. Everyone is different. Food I tolerate might cause problems for you and vice versa. You have to read labels at the grocery store. Bottom line, alcohol, fat, and stress are the enemy. I am a Christian, so I joined a Bible Study, and I pray to our Lord Jesus Christ especially when I’m having a bad day. He always puts me to sleep even when the pain should keep me awake. I pray you reach out to God. If you don’t, use a meditation app to help you relax. For me, stress causes pain. Believe me I know how you feel. It makes me uncomfortable to read that you’re thinking about suicide. You CAN live with this and lead a good life. Finally, The National Pancreas Foundation’s website contains a wealth of information.

God bless you.

[cultivating_courage]

Hi,

Thank you so much for sharing this. I can’t imagine how hard the EPI diagnosis must’ve been for you. I’m in my early 20s and I was diagnosed a few months ago. I can relate with feeling so guilty and ashamed. I can’t get over the fact that I didn’t get sober earlier, but I’m working on accepting this with some much needed intensive therapy so I can live my best life. Hopefully we can gain so much empowerment from knowing we’re not alone.

I’ve been taking PERT for a few months. I’ve finally gotten down the right dose for each meal. I think I’ve achieved this by eating smaller, more frequent meals a day which seems to be the prevailing dietary suggestion. I also have a pretty good idea of how much fat I eat each day. I met with a dietician recently and was told that I can actually eat more fat than I originally thought, although fat intake and tolerance really varies from person to person. I would definitely recommend seeing a dietician/nutritionist if you can. They make all this seem less scary, at least for me.

Take care, and I wish you nothing but the best! Remember, you can do or be anything you want at any given moment

[SenorBarba in reply to cultivating_courage]

Well so it turns out that it was actually my gallbladder. My PCP had me thinking it fatty liver, then pancreatitis, then EPI. While he was ignoring the ultrasound which showed a very large cyst. After about a year of thinking my life was over I found a good specialist and a new PCP and they sorted it out right away. We did an endoscopic ultrasound which showed that my pancreas and liver were normal. My new PCP meanwhile did a HIDA scan which showed that my gallbladder wasn’t functioning. The specialist diagnosed me with Gallbladder dyskinesia and I just got it removed two weeks ago. I’m still recovering but I’m praying that things go back to mostly norma soon!

[Rgee in reply to cultivating_courage]

You're definitely right about not feeling alone, I was lost before this group

[DENZ01]

Good luck & I hope that you feel better very soon. I had my gallbladder removed about 25 years ago & recovered quite quickly. Just take the medication that will be prescribed for you & hopefully you will feel back to normal very soon.

[Jesus5]

You will recover from gallbladder removal very soon. You can not even imagine how lucky you are that it is not pancreas. Best wishies

[Rgee]

Hi SenorBarba, I know exactly where you're coming from. This sounds exactly like my own situation, the guilt and shame i feel is unbearable at times and antidepressants dont do a thing for it, im interested to know how things are going for you lately?

[Rgee in reply to Rgee]

Sorry disregard,