Hi everyone, some of you may remember that I was diagnosed with a tumour at the bottom of my spine after months of being treated with sciatica, well 2 weeks on Tuesday we go to see the neurologist, the time is going in and I'm getting so nervous while at the same time will be so glad to get back to normal. I hate having to depend on someone for help with showering , dressing, making meals for me, and not being able to do my own housework especially with Christmas coming , and all the Christmas cleaning we ladies subject ourselves to. And I so miss just getting up and going out when I please, I'm on so much medication that there is no way I cld go out on my own so have to wait until the weekend when my husband is there or depend on friends during the week if they are available . I am just coming to the end of my SSP and in the process of applying for ESA and I spent over an hour on the phone to Dept of work and pensions the other day and needed up in tears on the phone and cried for the rest of the day after that. The lady was lovely but I feel as though I'm begging for money. She told me I should also apply for PIP and that my cousin who comes over every day for me shld be getting carers allowance . I have been nursing for almost 35 years and have gone from being in charge of a very busy unit and 10 staff to sitting looking at four walls and I'm finding this all so overwhelming , the uncertainty of knowing whether I will work again, christmas is coming and no wages , and having to apply for all these things . I'm so sorry for moaning everyone and if you have read this far then thank you, I don't want to moan to my husband too much as he is going through this the same as me and I know he is worrying about what will happen at the hospital so it is so lovely to have this board to come to and express my feelings knowing that someone is listening. Thank you so much , xxx
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