I constantly feel miserable and down trying to cope with everything I have going on. How do you all cope? Not sure if I’m depressed or not. If anyone is on antidepressants have they helped? I’m finding it so hard to stop overthinking everything or to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to feel ‘normal’ again, I’m fed up with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach day in and day out, I hate it when I get phone calls or messages from the hospital it’s usually to tell me bad news.…I’m waiting for surgery but I have to see the surgeon again as he wants to go over my CT scan and to make sure I understand what he can and can’t do…I’m so worried I know it won’t be good news, I just need a little break from it all, I know I can’t be cured.
Thank you so much for your post. I can see that you’ve had a response with some suggestions from another forum member; I do hope this has been useful. I'm sure some other members of the forum community will be along to share their experiences soon.
I was really sorry to hear how down you have been feeling recently and wanted to let you know that we are here to support you if there’s anything you would like to talk through. You can call the Ovacome support team on 0800 008 7054, send us a message here on the forum or email us via support@ovacome.org.uk. We are here Monday – Friday, 10am - 5pm, to help with questions, provide information resources and details about other specialist organisations or just have a chat about anything that’s on your mind. To learn more about the support we provide, please visit: ovacome.org.uk/Pages/Catego... .
You shared in your post that you’re feeling worried and are not sure whether you may be depressed. This sounds really tough and I wondered whether you have had an opportunity to speak with your oncologist, clinical nurse specialist or another member of your medical team about how you are feeling? They should be able to provide you with personalised advice and may be able to refer you to specialist pyscho-oncology services locally for additional support. Your GP should also be able to help address the difficult feelings you’re experiencing, including providing more information about the antidepressants you mentioned above. Macmillan have some information about cancer and depression here on their website that may be of interest: macmillan.org.uk/cancer-inf... . We would be very happy to help you plan or prepare for any future conversations or appointments with your clinical team, if you think this could be useful?
I also wanted to let you know that Macmillan are currently offering 6 free counselling sessions for anyone struggling emotionally because of a cancer diagnosis. We have had some really positive feedback from our members about this, and there is more information with details of how to self-refer available here on their website: macmillan.org.uk/cancer-inf... .
Ovacome realise that ovarian cancer and its treatment can have emotional, as well as physical effects. We have a range of resources designed to help our members look after their mental health that can be found here on our website: ovacome.org.uk/looking-afte... .
In addition, our Staying Connected program consists of a range of support groups, workshops and events for those affected by ovarian cancer, including regular yoga & relaxation sessions, crafting and creative writing. These are designed to support wellbeing, with more information about the program available here: ovacome.org.uk/Pages/Events.... You would be really welcome to join us.
The Ovacome magazine in Autumn 2022 had a feature all about looking after your mental wellbeing which can be found on page 16. This included some top tips from our members and can be found here on our website: ovacome.org.uk/Handlers/Dow... .
I really hope this information is helpful and that there is a positive shift for you soon. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us if there’s anything we can support you with at this time.
I have used the Macmillan counselling service which was helpful. It helped me progress the grief and loss of the old life/person and to gain acceptance.
I have enjoyed yoga for a long time but the bespoke ones from Ovacome and Target Ovarian Cancer or Penny Brohn are invaluable at gaining some peace.
It is hard to cope and some days worse than others. So, I understand. I've just started my chemo but am worrying it won't work or that my cancer is still spreading because of the physical pains i feel. This on top of all the other worries.
I would see your GP to see whether you are suffering from depression. I'm on antidepressants and have had half the macmillan 6 free counselling sessions which are very good. I'm waiting to carry on psychological support through the NHS. Ask your nurse. There is a 4- 6 waiting time. I find that professional psychological support helps.
I've called the macmillan help line on a few occasions when I felt worse. I see that ovacome provides the same help.
I also find that yoga helps. At the moment I do gentle yin or restorative yoga. I'm also hoping to explore the resources available through ovacome, penny brohn, etc to see if it helps me.
Hi cazzarReading your post has reminded me off how I was from being diagonised with ovarian cancer from surgery,chemo,results and scan anxiety.
Then I had a panic attack so my GP mentioned antidepressants like you I didn't know if I was depressed and never took antidepressants before but I thought I've got nought to loose.
It's been a year now since I've been on mirtazapine I know it's not for everyone and I can still get anxiety occasionally but it's nothing like how it was I can take each day at a time now I don't feel has tense and that unable to relax feeling has gone.I only take a small dose off mirtazapine 15mg a day and at the moment it seems to be working .
So sorry to hear how you have been feeling recently You have had some really good suggestions already I think if surgery going to happen really soon I would plan to get through that first and then have a chat with GP afterwards if you still feel very anxious about antidepressants and/or organise the counselling through McMillan. Sometimes hard to know how you will be feeling post op Best of Luck xx
Hello Cazzar I am so sorry you are feeling like this at the moment. I have had up and down times myself which I think is inevitable with the many challenges we are are all going through. During my worst period I realised I had to reach out for help. I had 12 really helpful sessions with a counsellor organised by my specialist Macmillan nurse. My GP is very supportive and put me on a short course of low dose Promethazine which is actually an antihistamine which helps anxiety. However, I have received great support from other women with OC( we have just started a support group here in Brighton East Sussex UK with the support of the local Macmillan Horizon Centre) and my friendship group and family. I think my realisation that I cannot change my situation ( I cannot be cured either) and that I am living with with cancer as a chronic disease and not dying from it has really assisted my personal mindset. None of this is easy all I can say, as others have done, is seek out help and see if anything offered helps you to cope better. I am sure something will. Best of Wishes. BB.
I feel for you as I get like that from time to time. I do have a really good support network and that helps a lot, but there are times when I just want to get on with it myself. I love lists and I find that writing a list of things that I want/need to do and then crossing one or two off each day , makes me feel I’ve achieved something. Some days I have to force myself but when I do, I’m proud of myself.
it is a difficult one, totally identify with it from last year. I took the BUPA counselling sessions through Macmillan, as others have mentioned. You do a holistic review before and after and my answers were just the same at the end of the six sessions. Aargh. Anyway I was invited to prehab to get ready for surgery and all my holistic answers went up dramatically after my daily exercise routine. Interesting. I decided early on that I would take a photo a day of something positive and that I would aim to produce the family photo calendar too, of a photo from each month charting the seasons. The most helpful things people said to me were ‘baby steps’ ‘small steps’ and now you’ve got it off your chest ‘park it’. I have a weekly planner and list little nice things to do. I use the Calm app for the ‘Daily calm’ ten mins session. I do small blocks of time, so I think only a few weeks ahead for planning things. I ordered a painting by numbers kit to do post op, hanging proudly on the wall. Perhaps the most important landmark experience has been being a member of Ovacome’s virtual walking group, which encourages me to go out for a short walk everyday and offers camaraderie without focussing on your cancer issues.
Thank you for your replies and for sharing your experiences.
It's great to hear that Rosado22 has found the Ovacome 'Walk With Me' group of such benefit. The aim of the group is to connect members of the Ovacome community who enjoy walking for exercise or who would like to take up walking as part of their recovery. The group connect virtually on WhatsApp to share friendship, encouragement, stories, and photos of their walks. If anyone would like to learn more or register for the group, please visit this page on our website: ovacome.org.uk/walk-with-me... . We warmly welcome new members.
Please don't hesitate to drop us a message here on the forum, email us via support@ovacome.org.uk or call our friendly support line on 0800 008 7054 if you have any questions or if there's anything we can support with. We are here Monday - Friday, 10am - 5pm.
Some good suggestions above, but my main message is Please don't suffer in silence! There are so many resources out there that can help - GP can prescribe antidepressants and/or talking therapy. Macmillan and Ovacome both have help lines. There is absolutely no shame in needing help, support, therapy, medication or whatever is needed to help you through this difficult time. Sending gentle virtual hugs!
Not surprised you are feeling in turmoil as you await the surgery, for me that uncertain period was definitely the hardest. Once the op was over I felt I could get myself ontrack to my new normal. Your specialist nurse or consultant should be able to provide details of support available in your area. I found talking things through with someone not in my friends or family really helped me. If you are in the UK you may have a Maggies or Macmillain centre at your hospital or near by who have staff there to support you through this horrid journey we find ourselves on. I was very apprehensive the first time I walked into my local macmillain centre but glad I did as met others going through this further along the treatment which gave me reassurance I would get used to the new normal but needed to be kind to myself and allow me to grieve for my old normal I have left behind. Hope your surgeon chat goes well and good luck with the surgery. The first few weeks are hard but then you turn a corner and feel ready to build up activity again.
Sorry to hear you’re feeling like this but I think we can all relate!
I had some counselling through my oncologist and I found it really helped. She let me talk, cry, scream, be grumpy, laugh, feel guilty for laughing etc.
One thing I try and remember is that no one knows how much life they will get so no point in worrying about stuff I can’t change. It’s not always easy to be in that mindset, but we have had an ‘awakening’ and should try and live each day we wake up to the full and try not to worry. Also I find I can make myself feel physically unwell by worrying.
A nice walk in nature (if it ever stops raining!!) also helps and if you go away from people, a really good scream releases a lot!
Hi Cazzar, sorry to hear that you’re feeling really down at the moment, I think the waiting for surgery and all that it entails is definitely the worse time and sends our mind into overdrive. As the other ladies have said maybe speak with your GP or CNS nurses to see what support can be offered at least until you get through your surgery. Thinking of you and best wishes xx
All of the responses have been excellent. And it just shows you that we are all different and handle our stresses in different ways. Rosado 22 response was especially helpful to read as I did many of the things she mentioned after my surgery and through now my second recurrence. I practice mindfulness (lucky to get involved in a mindfulness research group through my hospital in the U. S.) and also did paint by number as I recovered. Exercise, however small, is SO important to regain strength and confidence. Even through two recurrences I put myself out there and began volunteering to find purpose again. I take pain meds to help me deal with neuropathy and would not be opposed to anxiety meds if the problem arose. I look ahead, not behind, and am grateful for every new day. Sometimes you have to dig deep (and not opposed to a good scream! ;).
Best wishes for a quick recovery from surgery. You have this entire forum to lift you up. Use it and benefit from its wisdom. I’ll bet soon enough you will be the one passing on your wisdom to new members!
Totally understand how your feeling! I even called my oncologist Dr dread at the beginning as nothing she said was positive and every appointment I left crying 😢 . But this is just them being cautious, you will get through this and you will feel better ❤️ this time last year I was in your shoes and I was very scared, today I'm on a spa break with my daughter and life has changed but I am dealing with it! Get some counselling off over come and give yourself time xxx big cwtches x
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